Love yourself

Reblogging this again now because DON’T GODDAMN FORGET

me cooking

vajoyyyna‌:

POTTERHEAD quiz games masterpost. Save it!

one. Ron Weasley and Hagrid, I feel that’s pretty accurate

two.  i can’t believe i should marry hagrid

three. i got my house!!! Hufflepuffs for the win!!!

four. i got average :(

five. Huffleclaw. I’m actually a Huffledor

six. Sirius Black!

seven. im… a quidditch player??? i dont like sports

eight. fuck yeah i’m tonks!!!!

nine. Expecto Patronum!

ten. i got a 22 out of 24

eleven. I got Harry lmao

twelve. apparently im one of the golden trio

thirteen. nearly aced it

fourteen. im a wizard

fifteen. they were pretty accurate. I did enjoy the order of the phoenix

sixteen. im an expert

1. Ginny and Fred

2. Marry Ron. A little weird since I’m essentially his siblings…..

3. Hufflepuff….. as a raven claw I find this offensive

4. Average spell caster 15/24

5. Slytherclaw. This sounds more accurate

6. Sirius Black. Yes bitches

7. I work at gringotts, so give me all your money

8. I’m Luna lovegood. Time to get weird

9. Reparo 👓

10. 6/12 I suck

11. Hagrid…..

12. I’m part of the golden trio 8/13

13. 7/18 def not an expert

14. I’m a natural born wizard

15. Prisoner of Azkaban

16. I’m a skilled wizard

1. Rubeus Hagrid and Ron Weasley

2. I should marry Harry Potter

3. Hufflepuff and Taurus do have similarities

4. You’re a competent wizard, but you still aren’t quite a perfect spellcaster.

5. Gryffinclaw … I’m a Ravenpuff tho :(

6. I got Remus Lupin

7. My job would be a Hogwarts Professor

8. I’m Hermione Granger 

9. Riddikulus 😜

10. 10/24 not a good score :(

11. I should date Harry Potter … 

12. 10/13 … should brush up on that

13. 12/18 

14. GREAT MERLIN’S BEARD! YOU’RE A WIZARD!

15. Ayy I Got my fave Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

16. I’m an Expert 

1. Harry Potter & Albus Dumbledore

2. You should marry Neville Longbottom

3. Ravenclaw (accurate af)

4. You’re a competent wizard, but you still aren’t quite a perfect spellcaster. 20/24

5. You’re a Gryffinpuff. (False)

6. You’re Sirius Black

7. You work the desk at Gringotts, first non goblin employee.

8. You’re Luna Lovegood

9. You’re riddikulus

10. 20/24

11. Your soulmate is Harry Potter (/:)

12. You’re the chosen one, 12/13

13. 11/18

14. You’re a wizard, Harry! Unbelievable!

15. Prisoner of Azkaban (false; OoTP)

16. You’re a Harry Potter expert! 17/20

Here we go!

1. Hagrid and Ron 👩🏻‍🦰👨🏻‍🦰#gingersquad

2. Should marry Hagrid 🐈🐕🐉 (we’d have all the animals/magical creatures)

3. Ravenclaw (mmmmm not so much)

4. Average (12/24)

5. Gryffinpuff (that’s more like it)

6. Sirius Black

7. Work at the desk at Gringotts #firstnongoblinemployee

8. Hermione Granger #girlpower #bringonthebrain

9. Riddikulus

10. True Potterhead (12/24)

11. Harry Potter (💍 I accept)

12. One of the golden trio (8/13)

13. Fan, but no expert (7/18)

14. You’re a wizard Harry!

15. Half Blood Prince

16. Skilled Wizard (14/20)

You can tell a lot about a person based on their willingness to do 16 Harry Potter themed quizzes 😉

1. Ginny Weasley and Fred Weasley

2. Harry Potter

3. Hufflepuff (weird every test I’ve taken before has put me in Gryffindor or occasionally Slytherin)

4. 20 out of 24

5. Slytherdor (yeah… I already knew that lol)

6. Sirius Black (I honestly would have guessed Remus)

7. Wandmaker (ooo sounds cool)

8. NYMPHADORA TONKS

9. Riddikulus

10. I checked the answers and I only got two wrong but it said my score was 7 out of 24?????

11. Harry Potter (oddly enough I kinda expected it to be Fred)

12. I am the Chosen one 11 out 13

13. 10 out of 18 (I’m surprised I even got that many of them I’m horrible with names)

14. YOURE A WIZARD ELI

15. Half Blood Prince (which is not my favorite but it’s up there)

16. 20 out of 20 (which with the amount of times I’ve reread the series and watched the movies is not surprising)

1. Ron & Hagrid

2. Hermione

3. Gryffindor

4. Average spellcaster

5. Gryffinpuff

6. James Potter

7. Desk job at Gringotts :/

8. Dora Tonks

9. Riddikulus

10. True Potterhead

11. Draco Malfoy

12. Casual HP fan

13. Failed 😬

14. You’re a wizard harrrrrrry

15. Order of Phoenix

16. Jk you’re a muggle Harry ):

1. Remus and Sirius

2. Hagrid

3. Ravenclaw (Slytherin actually)

4. Average

5. Huffleclaw

6. Remus

7. Professional Quidditch Player (I’m like deathly afraid of falling so that’s a nope)

8. Bellatrix Lestrange (I don’t wike it)

9. Legilimens

10. 19/24

11. Hagrid (again! It must be true love 😂)

12. I’m the chosen one apparently (11/13)

13. 9/18 (I have really bad memory so I’m blaming it on that)

14. I’m a wizard!

15. Goblet of Fire

16. 18/20 aka an expert

one. Harry + Dumbledore

two. Harry

three. ravenclaw (not surprised, I always get ravenclaw) 💙

four. average

five. Griffinclaw

six. Sirius black

seven. Gringotts (omg 😂)

eight. Luna lovegood (we’re as sane as each other)

nine. Expecto patronum

ten. 13/24 😓

eleven. Draco malfoy (sounds about right 🤷🏽‍♀️)

twelve. The chosen one! 10/13

thirteen. 50%, 9/18 …this one was difficult

fourteen. I’M A WIZARD ✨

fifteen. goblet of fire

sixteen. An expert (not as much as other people)

awesome story. black doctors and nurses are the best.

We need more of this

Do something!

me: oh yeah i’ll watch [insert mega popular easily-accessed netflix thing] at some point

me:

bork megapost

— Ursula Le Guin, in The Wave in the Mind (via fortooate)

This paragraph went in so many different directions before it ended. What the fuck Ursula

Cause it slaps next question

James acaster is a fucking gift

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.

I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.

We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.

My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.

Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.

I. Fucking. Love. This.

This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.

may our education be stronger than fake news

Amen.

To those who don’t get it:

“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work

yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

*friends car is locked*

Friend: stop pulling the handle

Me:

The disorted version is a million times funnier than the original one… i’m wheezing

A true scientist

Can we start normalizing consent and open communication in all aspects of a relationship, not just sex? It may not seem like a big deal, but getting permission before holding hands, kissing, and even nonphysical stuff can go a long way in establishing a sense of trust. Remember that some people have experienced physical and/or sexual abuse in previous relationships and may not like being touched a lot. Remember that some people haven’t been in any previous relationships and may take a while before they feel comfortable with the more physical aspects. Remember that some people are independent and don’t like others paying for their things or spending a lot of money on them. Literally, the easiest way to alleviate this is to just ask before you do anything that may seem questionable. Some examples: 

“Would you mind if I held your hand?” 

“Is it okay if I put my arm around you?” 

“Is it alright if I kiss you?” 

“I’d like to pay for your meal if that’s okay with you?” 

“Would it be okay if I bought you something?” 

It’s literally that simple. And this goes for everyone, ladies and gents alike. Just. Ask. But the biggest thing is this: 

Don’t ask if you’re not prepared and willing to accept no as an answer. 

If they say no, that’s it. End of discussion. Move on. If you try to manipulate or guilt-trip them into a different answer, then you’re being controlling and selfish, in which case I hope they dump you like the bucket of slimy eels that you are. 

Remember kids, consent is cool. 

ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous. 

Cancer persuading to get a date

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

Did he survive?

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

This post has evolved.