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kiwimidnight
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kiwimidnight

When I was 12, my dad died unexpectedly. It was a car accident, and… one day he was there, the next day wasn’t. I didn’t really know how to handle it. I just was numb. I didn’t even cry. Not even at the burial. A couple days after the funeral, my mom left me at home with my little sister. And I was sitting in the living room in my dad’s recliner. It always made me feel so small sitting there. And suddenly, it bubbled up, and I felt it all, finally. I started bawling. It was– A dam just broke. And right then, I heard these taps on the window. Rain. And I thought it was weird, because it had been sunny just before and it wasn’t supposed to rain, but… but it got… it got violent. I thought it had to be hail. It just had to be, making that noise. So I cried harder, and the hail came harder, too. And I’d been through hail before, but not like that. No, this sounded like… like rocks, like actual stones. One of the windows in my sister’s room broke, and Janet’s shrieking, and I ran in there and– And I could see it. It was rocks. It was small, black stones hitting the windows, bouncing up off the ground outside. I saw the stone that broke the window, too, right there on the carpet. It was about this big. And my mom came running in, and she was bleeding from her scalp, I remember that. Just from running up the driveway, she got hit. And she grabbed me and Janet, and she held onto us and we rode it out. And as suddenly as it started, it just stopped. Silence. The world didn’t end, but… I always kind of thought… I thought it was my fault. It was me. I’d had the hardest, darkest feelings of my whole young life that day, and I just shot them up at the sky, and somehow those feelings came together up there in the atmosphere, and fell right back down on me.