The Ashtray

GEORGE: She came on my glasses.

JERRY: On your glasses?

GEORGE: All over em! It was a nightmare!

JERRY: Well why were you wearing your glasses during sex?

GEORGE: I gotta see, don't I?

JERRY: What's there to see? All you need is the basic gist.

GEORGE: You're missing the point.

KRAMER: She came on your glasses? Oh that's the worst.

GEORGE: Thank you!!

JERRY: Kramer, you don't even wear glasses!

KRAMER: I do for sex!

The Glorious 25th May, how do they rise up?

sorry babe i can’t hang out tonight my quest marker says i have to report back to the jarl

june is NOT pride month. it’s the month when people on the internet who have never been in irl lgbt spaces or have irl lgbt friends will be like “lgbt people need to STOP sucking and FUCKING during pride parades” and then when you go to a parade, instead of seeing the promised sucking and fucking, you get pelted with gay pens from bank of america 

That TikTok text-to-speech voice is astoundingly awful. Coworker who tattles on you to the boss vibes. Oblivious girl talking too loud on the phone on a hot, crowded bus. Its crazy to me that they engineered the worst sound on earth and people keep using it to completely ruin cute videos of their cat

when you see "Sound ON!!!🔊🔊🔊" and its HER

I mean, to be fair to Hades Hadesgame, to all appearances his day job is acting as a divine complaints department for an endless series of ghosts who have a problem with how he’s managing the Underworld. I’d probably be a little grumpy, too.

Like, I’m not saying it was right for him to treat Zagreus the way he did, I’m not defending him in any way, but “Hades works in customer service” explains literally everything about why he’s Like That.

He works in Customer Service and his Wife left him.

 Yeah that explains a lot.

“and then there’s THIS ASSHOLE!”

The hard truth about autism acceptance that a lot of people don’t want to hear is that autism acceptance also inherently requires acceptance of people who are just weird.

And yes, I mean Those TM people. Middle schoolers who growl and bark and naruto run in the halls. Thirtysomethings who live with their parents. Furries. Fourteen-year-olds who identify as stargender and use neopronouns. Picky eaters. Adults in fandoms. People who talk weird. People who dress weird.

Because autistic people shouldn’t have to disclose a medical diagnosis to you to avoid being mocked and ostracized for stuff that, at absolute worst, is annoying. Ruthlessly deriding people for this stuff then tacking on a “oh, but it’s okay if they’re autistic” does absolutely nothing to help autistic people! Especially when undiagnosed autistic people exist.

Like it or not, if you want to be an ally to autistic people, you’re going to have to take the L and leave eccentric, weird people alone. Even if you don’t know them to be autistic. You shouldn’t be looking for Acceptable Reasons to be mean to people in the first place. Being respectful should be the default.

This reminds me of that global warming comic, like

I was thinking about the healing crystals thing again, and why aren't there rocks that make your life worse instead of better?

like, if there are crystals that spiritually heal me and improve my relationships, it seems like there should be some that make me sexually frustrated, attract toxic people into my life, increase my anxiety, and scare away my spirit guides. I think that would be both logical and funny.

...Anyway I was on wikipedia and there are lots of minerals and rocks.

Why did I do this

I think the obsession with having been “born this way” largely stems from the idea that you need to be “innocent” to be guiltless. 

If something is weird then you need to have no control over it, otherwise it would be mandatory to fix it. If I said that I had control over my stimming and could stop it at any time, people would request I do so. Not for my comfort but for theirs. If I said that I had control over my gender and could be something binary or maybe even cis, people would request I do so. If I said that I have control over my sexuality and could make myself heterosexual, people would request I do so. If I said I could control my attraction and could make myself monogamous, people would request I do so. If I said that I could control my disability and could choose to stop a flair up in its tracks, people would request I do so. They would never ask out of the goodness of their hearts, they would always be asking because I was annoying, concerning, distracting, or inconveniencing them. 

Diversity is sometimes only tolerated if you have no control. If you have control, rules will be made to stop it. Hair will be straightened, clothes will be standardized, languages will be shushed, interests will be squashed, weight will be lost, and so on and so on and so on. Proving that we were born this way replaces the more obvious, that we’re okay this way. I don’t need to be a helpless victim of my differences to be forgiven for them. My differences aren’t crimes. 

Such an important point, and something that’s very relevant to the ace and aro communities. You don’t have to be ace or aro because you were born that way - these labels are open to anyone that identifies with them for any reason, at any time of your life. You are just as valid if you once identified differently, and you are just as welcome in this community.

This is my problem with “You shouldn’t make fun of people for being ‘cringey’ or weird or having strange interests, because they might be autistic.” Yes, they might be. And you know what? It’s not relevant. If they’re a neurotypical person who likes *insert interest deemed Cringey here*, you’re still behaving badly and you should feel bad about yourself.

You’re not the hero here. You’re not the arbiter of who’s allowed to exist and in what ways. If you torment people over differences that are not harming you - being annoying is not “harm” - you’re an asshole.

Let’s talk about the astounding similarities between cats and autistic people, and how we should make them the official autism mascot instead of that godawful puzzle piece

Oh man, now you’ve got me going!

Firstly, cats stim. They purr, swish their tails and knead their paws against pillows, blankets, and other soft things. Many cats actively seek out sensory experiences, like listening to birds singing, lying in a sunbeam, rolling against the grass, etc.

Cats have sensory sensitivities— many of them dislike walking on certain flooring, touching certain textures, and certain smells or sounds may make them anxious. Their fur is very sensitive, they can sense the lightest touch, or speck of lint, or dust and their skin will quiver until they can lick or rub it off. When they become overstimulated cats retreat into a small, dark place to recover.

Cats love routine. Many cats know the exact time that their owners wake up in the morning and will wake them. A cat with a routine is a happy cat— they love to have their meals or soft food on a schedule and will learn their owner’s schedule. Cats will become anxious when the schedule is disrupted or if their owner doesn’t follow their usual routine.

In the same vein cats are very wary and/or anxious when it comes to the introduction of new things or people into their environment. Cats require time and patience to get used to anything or anyone newly introduced. Cats also feel anxious when existing furniture is rearranged or when a new smell (like an air freshener) is introduced into the home.

Cats often have “special interests”, a particular activity or thing that they love and can spend hours enjoying. It could be playing with a particular toy, chewing on something, listening to the radio, or watching the clothes in the washing machine. My cat Kitty has a certain ball that she fixates on and will happily enjoy and obsess over for hours.

Finally, cats have a very distinct and subtle body language. The difference is particularly evident when compared with the exuberant, unsubtle dog. The slightest twitch of a tail or turn of the ears, the frequency and timing of blinks, and the positioning of the tail in relation to the body are all little movements that can express much. To the untrained eye it may appear as if a cat is bored, aloof, or unaware of its surroundings. But once you learn to recognize cat body language and understand cat communication, you’ll be amazed at the depth of emotion and how expressive your cat really is.

Yes, I think that cats have a lot in common with autistic people. And that’s wonderful!

also can I add to this:

cats like to show their affection just by sharing the same space. a cat will generally want to be in the same space as you, even if you’re not really interacting and are half way across the room. still hanging out! 

they don’t always want to be touched, and can be easily overstimulated by physical affection.

they don’t like to make eye contact.

their body language is often misinterpreted- and then they are blamed for it, or have negative motivations ascribed to it. a cat following you around is stalking you instead of wanting to hang out. a cat that doesn’t want to make eye contact with you is ignoring you instead of being polite. a cat that lashes out because it’s over stimulated, or you ignored their body language telling you to leave them alone is suddenly an asshole who hurt you for no reason.

I had this book as a child and I’m glad to see the comparison is so widely recognized too

I KEEP SAYING ALL CATS ARE AUTISTIC IM SO HAPPY THIS POST EXISTS PLEASE SOMEONE ARTISTIC MAKE A CAT WITH THE NEURODIVERGENT SYMBOL ON IT FOR AUTISM MASCOT :D

The book above has been updated to better align with the current understanding of autism as well!!

People who ‘love nature’ but violently hate their native coyotes, spiders, snakes, and scavengers are fake.

Here’s the thing about the post. You don’t have to love or even like every animal. You can dislike things! Humane, intelligent pest control is fine and necessary.  This isn’t the issue and never has been.

It’s violent, blind hatred and hypocrisy that’s the problem. People who gush over foxes and owls and hawks but want coyotes and snakes dead in the next breath. People who will rescue prey from predators because predation is mean. People who find it appropriate to leave sadistic comments on pictures of spiders or snakes someone is appreciating or owns. People who insist on labeling species as ‘good’ or ‘evil’.  This is the sort of behavior that bothers me.

People who only appreciate nature when it’s aesthetically pleasing to them and want to destroy the parts they find ugly and unpleasant don’t truly understand or love it. They love an ideal that isn’t actually representative of reality.