VIII

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

me: not today, satan 

satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me

me: hey friend: *after two minutes of not replying* hey whats up me: *washing the gasoline off myself* not much hbu

please, its 2:30 am, please stop

Every time I see this I’m not sure if its fandom content or just a summary of what being piss drunk with your best friend is like but either way it’s Perfect

Introducing myself like

no offense to 2020 but what the fuck

life gets so much better when you realize that there are no rules. you don’t have to get your license at 16 if you don’t want to. you don’t have to date anyone in your teen years if you don’t want to. you don’t have to move out in your early 20s if you don’t want to. you don’t need to go to any social gathering that you’re not in the mood to go to. and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. sometimes you don’t wanna do something just because you... don’t wanna do it. that’s it. live your life how you wanna live it.

Me_IRL

omfg

some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows

when ur parents start talkin shit about ur personality

this might be my favorite post on tumblr ever

THAT FUCKING FACE

This is my favourite thing ever