Avatar
Anxiety is red. Not the dark red that my mom likes but bright red like stop signs or an emergency exit that I can’t seem to find. Red like ink marks all over a paper you thought you did well on. Red like I bit my lip too hard and now my mouth tastes like blood. Depression is blue. The kind that is mixed with a little bit of grey. Blue like the color of the clouds right before it rains and you can’t find the sun. Blue like it is starting to get dark outside and you can’t tell where the sky ends and the ocean begins. Blue like the eyes of someone you used to love. Love is yellow. Not the kind I hate that is too bright but the soft kind. Yellow like sunlight pouring through an open window onto my skin. Like light yellow daisies. Yellow like the faded pages of old love poems.

if feelings were colors (via anxieusly)

Avatar
1. For someone so afraid of the dark I am amazed my thoughts do not cause me to wake up screaming in the middle of the night. 2. No matter how much I wish it, you are not mine. 3. I am not a writer. Putting my feelings on paper to try and make sense of them is not art. It is coping. 4. I never get scared when I don’t stop bleeding. 5. I don’t like to take my medicine. Not because I think I am better but because sometimes I like to pretend that I am. 6. There is a small part of me that always feels empty and I am afraid it will feel like that forever. 7. I am afraid to die because an eternity is an awfully long time to spend in heaven. 8. The amount of times a week I want to rip myself apart is greater than the amount of times I have been glad that I exist. 9. Sometimes I don’t eat. I just want to be in control of something I’m feeling.

9 things i will only admit to myself at 4 a.m. (via anxieusly)

Avatar

relationships are so scary like someone can go from being happy and in love with you one day to not giving a shit about you the next day and that terrifies me