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@lost-in-hammerspace

Let us say that you have a crush on someone and you have had feelings for them for quite a while. Then you ask them out only for them to turn you down. As someone who's been "friendzoned," here's some advice. When the person you want rejects you, then you have to accept it and proceed. Do not beg or lash out at them or take your anger out on someone you see as "contest" Your heart is going to break, but you can't hate a person for not needing you.

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Go with her to to date and meet her

Don't stay stuck before. First thing people will need to learn when it comes to relationship as an adult is that this is going to be an entirely new experience and thus don't compare the person you're dating to previous connections. You don't wish to contend with all the ghosts of your significant other's past so don't put them through the exact same comparison procedure. Also don't compare yourself to the way you're in past relationships. Learn from the past, but proceed from it.

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Don't be pressured to go the whole nine yards. If you're just beginning, it is a good idea to go out on set dates where there's less pressure or match the person at events where there will be lots of individuals. You do not have to start out with the whole flowers and dinner type of date. If it does not wind up working out with them, at least you had a fantastic time.

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Don't let your relationship define and consume you. Love as adults isn't obsessing over the other person how you would over your favorite TV show or sports team. Adult love implies that people come into the connection as ourselves and the very best kind of love is just one where we preserve our credibility and integrity. You should not bend over backwards to try and please the person you're with. Real love is the kind where the person we love stands beside us instead of making our decisions for us trying to take the pieces of us that they like and putting the rest of us in a box. If the person you're dating seems like a control freak, get out of that relationship ASAP!