Eat cheese

OH MY GOD???

They don’t wanna be all-powerful they just want love

Idea: interspecies TF but it doesn't go like a werewolf movie, over in seconds or minutes, but like HRT.

Every morning you look in the mirror, pulling your mouth open to get a better look at your canines. Is it just you or are they a little bigger?

You turn your head sideways, seeing how much your face is stretching into a snout. You occasionally catch yourself looking at your hands, seeing how the skin on your palm is hardening into pawpads, how the tips of your fingers are stretching, your nails coalescing into claw tips.

You spend a while looking online at r/TFtimelines/, looking at other furries with a mix of envy and lust. God, you hope someday you can look a tenth as monstrous as them. You look up doctors in your area to see their ratings for bottom surgery (which is getting a tail), and wonder if your insurance will cover it.

It's not all physical changes, of course. You're noticing how your emotional state is shifting. You're staring at spreadsheets at work, in need of another coffee, and you have that thought again of just running into the woods. Your clothes seem tight and restrictive on you, and you know it had nothing to do with the fact you've gained 5 inches in height over the last year. It's more to do with feeling you shouldn't need to wear this business formal nonsense, you should be covered in fur and hanging out in the lonely woods, not in a crowded office moving numbers around for your boss.

Ugh, your fucking boss. It's getting harder to not listen to him talk without inadvertently thinking about what it'd feel like to rip his throat open with your teeth, and leave him as a warning for the others not to mess with the wolf...

Not that you'd ever do such a thing, of course... But those pills you're taking every morning have been waking up millions of years of instinct that are saying "this supposed leader is weak and ineffectual and doesn't deserve your loyalty. Kill him. Take his place, or his poor leadership will get you all killed when the winter comes."

You sigh, and keep typing on the keyboard. One day you'll come out to these anthrotypicals. You'll be recognized for the mighty wolf you are, and they'll stop treating you as just another human.

You make a note to email HR about that "I'm a human" CAPTCHA they put on the company's website. They don't know, of course, but they should be more considerate. Not everyone wearing a pantsuit and operating a boring Dell computer is a human, after all.

You glance at the clock and think about getting dinner once this slog is over. You'd been a vegetarian before starting your transition, but there's a new steakhouse that's opened up on your walk home, and every time you walk past it, you keep thinking about biting into a nice steak... Rare, of course. It's probably just the smell. You can smell so much better now, and from what you've heard from others, it's only going to get better.

Well, better is relative. You've learned the downside of having a better sense of smell. It's sometimes unbearable walking to work on Wednesday, when everyone has their bins out. So much rotting food and spoiled milk and bacteria festering in all those cans waiting for the trash trucks.

It gets better once you're in the office. The AC kills a lot of the smell. But now you can tell exactly how many days it has been since your coworkers have showered, and you'll never look at Simon from accounting the same way again.

And it was a bit of a faux pas (or should that be a faux paw, ha!) when you congratulated Cindy on the baby she was expecting... She hadn't told you yet. She hadn't told anyone yet, other than her spouse, but you forgot that it wasn't as obvious to everyone else.

You don't know how that can be overlooked (oversmelled?). The hormones are all different. Was there really a time in your life when you couldn't smell this? Huh. You can't remember anymore. This is your new normal. You've come farther than you think. You should have taken more pictures at the start, so you could compare them to now, but it was so hard to look at yourself then. You looked so... Human. Ugh.

It's getting easier to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. Your fur is coming in. Your body is changing in so many ways. You're finally starting to look like you.

Bad news everyone: I just got off a call with Tumblr and it turns out they accidental dropped the database server into a summoning grid and now this post is cursed. Yeah, everyone who reblogged it is going to suffer the effects I wrote about. I'm sorry about this.

They said they can provide counseling and they've got some doctors working on a cure, but it'll take... Wait why are you cheering?

I can't help but think you have fundamentally misunderstood the point of this post!

but you can't keep holding on like this.

i have a tattoo of an ouroboros snake that bit its tail off and i can't stop thinking about this piece of art like. this is exactly what my mindset was. who are you and how did yoh rifle through my brain for this.

I have powers

The Best Knit & Crochet Projects Inspired By Children's Author & Illustrator, Eric Carle - 25+ Patterns! 👉 https://buff.ly/2Lb9YOP 🐛

autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.

there’s a lot of misinformation about autism that gets spread on the internet, so here’s a friendly reminder that the main symptoms of autism are as follows:

if you experience several of these symptoms, you could be autistic! i recommend doing further research on your own, as i am not a doctor and cannot diagnose you, but i hope that someone finds this clarification helpful.

#ok i was gonna be silly and continue the bit like#'lesser known symptoms include hating water and a compulsive need to count things in piles'#but thats actually just true lmfao#maybe vampires ARE autistic

(via @bananonbinary)

some 17776 moments I was appreciating on the train

video essays about horror, fear and dread

@bloop-arts

The silly things we do for a little Danny Phantom fic *googles radiation poisoning*

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Having online friends is the best. I can just send them consonants and vowels in no particular order and they’ll say ‘woah buddy!!! Great job! :O!’ If I did that IRL I’d imagine I’d be beset by a killing beast and it’s many heavy punches

Lets all suck on glass together and make the aquarium clean for everyone

I’m gonna keep repeating myself that I really think the entire pro life movement exists so that American conservatives can have one single issue that lets them assume a moral high ground, to distract from the fact that their entire ideology is completely hostile to human life.

she really read "i ignore infant mortality rates in the poorest states" and agreed.

This is why transphobia swung wildly upwards after Row v Wade was overturned btw

They needed a new random social issue that "threatened the children" or whatever

I work at indeed.com my job is throwing all of the applications away

YOU

Soulja boy tell em

fully losing it over Aziraphale bopping around like an excited penguin while Crowley's just standing there like 🧍 babe can we GO

Also, the fact that he goes shop to shop in rigorous alphabetical order, zigzaging back and forth across the entire neighborhood for half a day, instead of going by proximity (Arnold's musical instruments shop is literally right there!) is such a sweet nonsensical "angel who pretends to be a human librarian but is not very good at it" thing to do. And the funniest thing to me is that Crowley doesn't seem to be aware of the absurdity either.

The concept of task optimization is going over both of their empty occult/ethereal heads.

i invite you over to my house and while we're greeting each other at the door i turn around and yell "down boy! DOWN! NO!" and you just see a caterpillar moving very slowly across the floor toward you

i think what i love most about this headline is that the couple clearly admitted it. they admitted they were doing a sex game. if your house burns down, even because of a flamethrower, you have so many other things you could say besides 'yeah we were having kinky sex', but these two people went and told journalists with their full chest that they were definitely, absolutely, 100% using the flame thrower for erotic reasons.

god bless america.