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A 2pm appointment can take all day when you're autistic

Gandalf throwing his staff at gollum is what really makes this

Thank you for commenting because I was going to scroll past this. 

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass

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lol this slaps

HOLD BABY JESUS RANSOM UNTIL ST. ANTHONY RETURNS YOUR FREAKING KEYS

Ooh oh and also if you put him upside-down it will help you to find a partner!

I don't know if people do this in other parts of the world but it's a common tradition in Mexico!

Thorn calling Murtagh bitchless…..just like Murtagh’s brother.

@drukhari

“Who’s the guy having tea with the grandma?”

[John Cena’s theme starts playing]

“Ohhh it’s John Cena!”

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

so much to do

so much to sea

doing social media training at my job like i don't run a blog that would make me unemployable

"thank you for maintaining a professional and responsible online presence"

me, drafting a post about how i want to be harpooned and gutted like a fish sexual style: sure thuing boss 👍

Bauarbeiter sind abends immer hungrig, auch wenn sie tagsüber ein ganzes Haus verputzt haben.

So I saw this wicked badass dragon guitar and wanted a badass dragon instrument of my own.

So I improvised…

Mine’s better. Dragon guitar:  http://www.emeraldguitars.com/the-art-of-guitar/draco/

Dragon Bros: http://floccinaucinihilipilificationa.tumblr.com/

@problematicmilf

Seto Kaiba’s guitar and Joey Wheeler’s trombone he made to make fun of Kaiba.

Kaiba: *to Joey* You’re a third-rate musician with a fourth-rate instrument, Wheeler!

Joey: Enough talk, rich boy! It’s time to rock!

*Rock-off commences*

catholic priest drag king called Father Issues