The worst thing filmmaker’s ever did was decide that because it’s called “Dracula” it must be because it’s about the actual guy Dracula and his melancholic woes and alluring world of darkness and seduction and not the fact that every single character in the book hates him. Every single worker he comes across cusses him out and tells him he’s ugly and his vibes are rancid. Jonathan Harker wants to chop him up with a machete Quincy wants to shoot him so bad Renfield wants to crush his windpipe Van Helsing and Seward and Arthur and Mina and everyone else want him dead by impalement and decapitation. It’s called “Dracula” because every single character wants a piece of that bastard.
So fun fact: At some point in my life I got it into my head I wanted to make a Highly Ambitious Sci-Fi Simulation Murder Mystery Game, where all the characters in it were fully simulated and had their little simulated goals and ANY of them could have done it and it was up to you to piece together the clues they’d naturally leave behind in the wake of their nefarious deeds to decide who actually had the means and opportunity as you slowly realized EVERYONE present had motive. Obviously, it would be a riff on Murder on the Orient Express, but that’s not important. But, when I realized that I wanted to have a SINGLE person be the target of all that aggression, I realized in my heart of hearts that person had to be Dracula. And BOY did the plot of the game write itself out at that point. So many various reasons people could want this bastard dead.
Ultimately, the ambitiousness of the simulation was its undoing: I wasn’t yet in a point in my programmer skill tree where I knew how to properly debug AI, so it ended up unfinished (and for a platform I no longer have access to, alas). HOWEVER let me leave you with my very favorite bug: Because I needed lots of reasons for characters to be constantly moving around and not just holing up in their space-train cars, they had various bodily needs, like hunger and thirst and the need to go to the bathroom, you know, normal things. Imagine my horror and delight when I was running a test game to figure out why Dracula kept Not Getting Murdered only to discover he was *LOCKING HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND PISSING ETERNALLY*. Turns out I had a bug where you just...wouldn’t stop. I ALSO had a bug with the locking mechanism and people could let themselves IN but not out, so eventually the entire cast ended up there in the Infinite Piss room, unable to leave, and unwilling to murder because of all the witnesses. Hell is real and its a buggy simulation game.
Op I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes. Literally have tears streaming down my face.
Y... you're OP.
dracula, omfg
this video has invaded my brain
👹 yo bro 👋 come over here 👋 come over here check out my new shoes they’re the 👹 BRAND NEW ☺️ oooone twoo~ buckle my shoooooe~ 🤗 threee four~ buckle some mooooore~ 😇 fiiiive six, nike kicks! 👹 OOHOOHOOHOO that is so FIRE! 🧍🏼♂️ ahahahaha
we’re not allowed to sing or play this video out loud at my house because it immediately ruins my dad’s whole day
Why the hell would you hide user icons? Have you seen our user names? You think I'm going to remember mxastromonkeysocksbaby? Never. Will I remember their icon of a non binary monkey piloting a space ship? Fucking yes.
I've fallen down a rabbit hole hELP
Feel free to use this template and be sure to tag me if you share it!
staff changing dashboard again i think, all pfps are removed unless its an original post, which then it appears INSIDE the post :|
can you stop.
like if its a reblog, theres just no PFP. at all. why.
how the hell am i supposed to know who anyone is?!?!
i don’t remember names.
you are all your avitar to me.
Hey! so i just found out that the creator behind the dashboard-unfucker (@/dragongirlsnout) updated their script to fix the icon change!
If ppl could try to spread this around so others see it, thatd be appreciated
Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today
fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes
May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love
May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love
“Jem” was inducted to the ‘Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’!
Photo via Samantha Newark (link dead)
Floating face down in a blank word document file, while not physically possible, is nevertheless a tangible authorial state.
Project Name: The Dead
Project Type: Fiction Podcast
Recording Location: Remote, synchronous
Compensation: $25 per hour of recording time ($50 minimum)
Audition Deadline: August 31st, 2023
The Dead is a Bloody FM production, seeking four actors to fill important ensemble roles in its first miniseries, a zombie horror story called “Precious Cargo.” Actors must have their own audio recording setup.
These roles are open to actors with Pacific Island heritage only. Other applicants will not be considered. We are especially interested in Vanuatuan and Fijian actors. Accents of any kind are acceptable. Actors of all genders are welcome to audition.
whats that defunct land quote again? every part of the film making process is awful, but not making film is even worse? idk something like that. anywah im being completely normal about art rn ::))
found it
okay im remembering this painting of like a tiny dog sitting in a big red armchair. and it was painted in 1920 by a german guy and the title was like augustus or claudius or something hearkening back to past imperial grandeur. does anyone know what im talking about searching “german dog sitting in chair painting” just gets me a bunch of bad photoshop novelty wall art ripping off dogs playing poker
okay i found it it was Siegfried, 1921 by thomas theodor heine
this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.
Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison
Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck
Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it
Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.
In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.
To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.
There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.
This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.
so tired of all these live action remakes
unlike some of you i get MY classical music information from a REAL source
Thank you 19th century Hungarian Romantic era composer and pianist Franz Liszt for agreeing with my point
Last day to get your auditions in!
If you or someone you know is: Chinese, Welsh, Scottish or trans and available to record between 14th-20th October 2023 in studio in Glasgow, send a tape!
All of these roles are paid, and come with additional travel, accommodation and access budgets.
Image ID under the cut