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Dick(head)

@lonewolf91828 / lonewolf91828.tumblr.com

Richard, 17, Trans (FtM), general shithead. @ me next time

Last night’s (apparently) most memorable dream involved me, a male friend, and a male roommate of the roommate we just mentioned all trying out MDMA with some friends (unclear on gender) and having what I can only describe as extremely weird, possibly bad trips. At the end of the night the three of us were just in the living room talking and I was explaining to my friend why we had to go home and shower, and he pointed at the bathroom (which we were sitting at the edge of) and said “no, I want to do that”

I don’t even know how to explain the symbolism of that

How do I make myself (unclear on gender)? That’s my aspiration in life, now

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I assume it's a lot?

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Yes! I think it's a lot. But we will have to be careful to make sure it's not too much

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How do we ensure that they aren’t throwing too much, Frank? Surely there’s some preventative measures that can be taken to prevent excessive throwing of food.

Perhaps limiting their supply, for starters

Grad Student Who Is The Only One With A Valid License + his pack of wild undergrads

edit: looking back I drew beau way too light skinned originally.  That’s completely on me for not noticing sooner.  Idk if people just didn’t notice or didn’t feel comfortable pointing it out, but if you ever see me screwing up, if you let me know I promise I’ll listen.  I know how shitty it is dealing with fandom creators who refuse to acknowledge rightful criticism.

Not sure who needs to see this, but if a Service Dog starts backing into you, pushing you away from their handler, or they sit down at a leash distance from their handler

You Should Move Away.

They are performing a task known as "spacing" or "blocking" that helps reduce or prevent anxiety in their handler.

They are NOT "asking for pets" or being disobedient or asking to be spoken to. All you have to do is stay back from the dog and handler.

This is not a capslock PSA because I'm not sure how many people that don't have a SD actually know this is a trained task.

I did NOT know and this is both very cool that SDs can be trained for this, and very important that we all know how to respect it.

it looks like his lecture series got more popular!

My poor maths teacher absolutely requires some kind of feedback from his students to make sure they understand. You have some teachers who speak “at” a class - which isn’t really teaching in my opinion. Mr Z is the absolute opposite, it makes some people uncomfortable but I absolutely love it and now we’re doing lessons on google meets and this poor man cannot function, he’s practically begging us to just leave our fucking webcams on. 

He does this thing where he’ll start a sentence and make us finish it, I honestly think it’s just a habit and it’s just dumb stuff like “and the opposite of differentiation is?” 

But it’s so bad because now no one responds because we’d have to unmute ourselves and yuck.  And you can just see him slowly deflating everytime no one responds, and I think he was getting a bit fed up by the end of the lesson. It was entirely possible that some people were just recording the lesson and had gone off to do something else. 

And right before the end of the lesson he asked us “would you like me to send the homework to your parents? I’m doing it for my junior students but you’re all in year 12 so I was wondering” 

and literally the joy on his face when TWENTY FOUR STUDENTS all simultaneously turned on their microphones and cameras to tell him “NO WTF DON’T WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO ASK CANT U JUST SEND THE HW TO US WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU” 

Me: OH! I caught a snapping turtle--wouldnt it look so nice in its tank in my house---

Um............. ????? EXCUSE ME???? IT JUST??? SITS??? THERE??? ON THE FLOOR??? NO TANK??? WHAT IS GOING ON. DOES HE NEED A LEASH? A.... PET BED? HE HAS NO HOME THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. I AM NOT SHARING MY BED WITH HIM. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS THING

UPDATE: IT HISSES WHEN YOU GO UP TO IT AND CLICK "A" AND YOU CAN MOVE IT AROUND LIKE FURNITURE. THIS IS NOT NATURAL. I DONT LIKE THIS

ANOTHER UPDATE: YOU CAN SET HIM ON TOP OF THINGS???

Oh my god, I've just seen this story on instagram about this guy that filled his bathtub with waterbead...except he didn't think about how he was going to empty it.

So he unplugged the bathtub which was apparently the worst idea he could possibly have because this happened

So he panicked and started asking people on the internet what he should do. Which was also a bad idea.

First suggestion: flush the toilet

This caused a smelly overflow that flooded the whole bathroom.

Second suggestion: vaccum the beads

His vaccum caught fire.

At this point it had actually spread to the neighborhood and people came to ask question but he denied knowing anything about it. He then discovered that it's invaded the whole sewer system.

And yet, he continued to take suggestion from the internet.

Third suggestion: put salt in

It actually worked. Well, until.

Poop apprently started flooding his house.

And then the streets.

It all happened yesterday so we're still waiting on an update on the situation but I hadn't laugh like this in a while.

You should go and watch the whole story (it's in 4 parts)

It's in french, but you get it even if you don't speak it and his screams of panic are hilarious

Word of warning: don't fill your bathtub with waterbeads. Just don't.

Update on the situation. The waterbeads have totally blocked the sewer system. He received a letter from town hall telling people to report nuisances to the cops that are searching for the culprit.

He's in so much trouble that I'm starting to feel guilty for finding this funny...but still kinda laughing about it.

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

LISTEN-

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shesfromsaturn

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

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teamnowalls

father god 

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…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

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singingnightowl

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

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laurdlannister-kingslayer

Lord have mercy….

Bye

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mf-johnson

3 days into 2018 smh

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LMAOOOOOOO

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effigyofubiquity
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lizzysarai

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

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It keeps getting worse.

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e-wifey

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

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goldensweetcheeks

My head hurts…

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lordhams

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

who failed yall?

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microtear

IM SCREAMING

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hey-hey-shutthefuckup

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

happy New year’s eve

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

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chancethereaper

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

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stvckyslvt

Reblogging for the last one😂

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

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awkwardintrovert2004

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

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daddyhyperion

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

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katatles-the-fish

what the actual fuck is happening

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emo-scooby-snack-loving-giant

1 is an even number

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andy-the-anon

I’m gonna smack you

-30 and -50 have an e in them

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Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

Zero isn’t a number

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It can’t be divided by two though, can it

It can??? 0/2=0??

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OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

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yeetkey

OD numbers huh?

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

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yeetkey

YOU FORGOT 5

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ozzy-pawsbone-prince-of-barkness

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

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yeetkey

What about it?????

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ozzy-pawsbone-prince-of-barkness

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

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yeetkey

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

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suspicious-sweaters

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

21 days away from 2020, folks.

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

This is art at its finest

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hey-there-princey

one week to 2020 dudes

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suicidal-ginny

I’m so done

Im so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro

But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there

Zero is a number.

A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number.

zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9.

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endertrender

zero is not a goddamn odd number what. even i know that and i’m not good at math. also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it  and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. you can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero. 

https://www.scienceabc.com/nature/zero-odd-even.html Quote from this one “ So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.”

also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? this is making my brain physically hurt. christ.

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mynameismichealwithab

NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS.

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bring-us-a-rat

This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it

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eds-my-love

Damn you

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only-a-spoon-full

“Anyone can do math, even gay people”

Bitch, are you sure???

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qackydontus

This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased.

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Is this fucking number discourse

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qackydontus
Do you have an issue with that?
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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers

Just that it’s weird is all

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qackydontus

The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now.

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Yeah that’s true

At least the cum soup post was less weird than this

Uhh I’m sorry the what

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Oh boy here we go again

How many times have I done this so far

I’ve done this like… three, maybe four times so far

Do you really want to know

You can turn back now

Please why did I have to see this post I had midterms today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this

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majorcurious007

I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!

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cassiopeiathequeen

This is the longest post but yall forgot 6

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lovesickvampire-x

And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.

THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST CONFUSION GENERATOR EVER AND IM JUST LAUGHING TROUGH ALL OF IT ROFL

rneerkat-deactivated20220104

if u wear cowboy clothes are u ranch dressing

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