nobody is coming to save you. get up
he’s so fine i want to do incomprehensible things to him and also just kiss his face all over and love him the best i can my hearttttt is over brimming i love him so fucking much!!!! and i will heal and do everything i can to be the best of us!
life as it is… perfectly mundane. there is so much glamour in the monotony and i will never be able to communicate what exactly i mean by that but i hope you understand
pinterest my new best friend i wanna change my style so bad.... i always get so inspired and excited but then the shopping paralysis sets in and i browse and browse but i can't get the practical measurements carting out etc. out!!! also i havent been on here in so long
thinking about that guy i went on a date w 2 months ago who had no interest in me at all and ghosted me…. and feeling terribly sad about it like i swear im not cut out for this life & i need to have some bare foundation of self-respect so i’ll stick to the present
trying to cram for my test tmr and spotify's put me on the most evil heart wrenching nostalgia wringing queue ever... every song fr... this is so cruel
and speaking of this we need a spotify queue history wtf!!!! bc i'll probably never be able to get this same trajectory again like every song has been perfectly aligned and core fragments from my past it's so insane... what if i want to feel this insane again
trying to cram for my test tmr and spotify's put me on the most evil heart wrenching nostalgia wringing queue ever... every song fr... this is so cruel
Why tf am i still crushing on a boy who's level of emotional depth is the weeknd's Die for You... he really said "the lyrics are so deep" and that's the man i can't stop fantasizing a future with
Anyway if you see this you have to reblog and tag with a delight from ur day -- even the littlest thing counts
also dating and trying to find a bf is like so ridiculously effortful and difficult and futile to such an insane extent that i 100% do believe it’s just not my time yet… cause looking at objectively and in relative to other ppl etc it’s just strange & im convinced its not a “i need to try harder/stay positive/keep heart” type beat it’s def a not my time yet thing.. just need to focus on becoming my best self instead…. i swear im becoming more like spiritual/less cynical w time
i feel like everyone’s leaving my life i’m just losing people and its happening at such an abrupt rate i’m thinking it has to be cosmic message or warning or lesson of sorts
dunno why i feel so desperately lonely... so frustrating and annoying to feel such desperation like no one is responding to my invites to come over and hang out in my dorm today and idk why its driving me crazy. like i can just do my own things and get work done or hang out with a friend... instead im like shaking my leg waiting on 1. the boy that used to come over and just hold me to sleep 2. my crush who will stay a crush bc he does not give a fuck about me and also has the person of a 16 yr old teenage boy. like.... idk this specific loneliness is torturous i feel like my brain is going to explode and the desperation is so MF embarrassing. i have sm shit to do just need to focus on that and spend more alone time meaningfully
im just realising relationships do not have to be intense/all-consuming… i think him being my first venture of a romantic relationship kinda instilled that idea in me bc he was always so so intense and obsessed… and so in my head i was like ok this is the bar this is the ideal the bar is high. so in my head im like Ok my man has to be obsessed w me and be willing to go above and beyond and invest all their time/energy in the relationship… ot else im kinda downgrading from him. except like even tho its nice to be on the receiving end a rs has to be two-sided and i dont think i have the capacity to be doing the most in that way… so idk i think i’d want something a nice middle ground and more easy going then that… and thats my new realisation sth less intense/all over each other =/= a downgrade or sth lesser
i think we're better off strangers welp... was a good chat but idk i don't like the unease it's making me feel and i'm still itching for some strange fuckin validation from him which i can't pin-point myself... so yeah we're better off strangers
when you reconnect and just from the way he talks it’s so apparent he’s miles ahead in a whole different span of time and stage of life… and i’m just stuck in time… holding onto to the past and that version and it snaps you out of it like nothing else can… like it yells at you “aren’t you ashamed? don’t you feel sick!!!! that you haven’t moved with life!!! because you don’t know any other life except the one that you lived for him!!!"