Amazing Spider-Man #25 - “Welcome to Omaha, Spider-Man” (2023)
written by Rainbow Rowell art by Alvaro Lopez & Andrew Crossley

Amazing Spider-Man #25 - “Welcome to Omaha, Spider-Man” (2023)
written by Rainbow Rowell art by Alvaro Lopez & Andrew Crossley
Amazing Spider-Man #25 - “Welcome to Omaha, Spider-Man” (2023)
written by Rainbow Rowell art by Alvaro Lopez & Andrew Crossley
Peter here like “I HATE THIS PLACE”
The Parker Luck, huh?
“I NEED THOSE TO SWING FROM!”
Aquatar Water Park, Qatar
People enter and the only thing that comes out the bottom is gelatinized gore
this looks like a PS1 Final Fantasy background
You enter the top and come out the bottom in 2-3 business days
howl’s moving large hadron collider
May 8, 2023
The EARN IT Act isn't the only bill Congress is rushing through this session that's secret goal is to censor and surveil Americans, especially queer ones.
KOSA (s.1409), or the Kid's Online Safety Act, is being hailed across the mainstream media and congress as the best bill to "protect children online from algorithmic harm" by essentially, blocking content that gives minors anxiety, depression, eating and substance abuse disorders, online bullying and harassment, sexual exploitation and abuse, suicidal behaviors, and addiction. It's gives the FTC, who are politically appointed by the president, and all 50 state attorney generals enforcement power to do this. As long as they can justify a website 'harmed' a minor by having content that leads to 'anxiety, sexual exploitation, and suicidal behaviors', they will push lawsuit over lawsuit to that site until it censors that content for the minor.
Oh, but that's not it, either. HOW will websites determine who is and isn't a minor? Well don't worry, because the bill says "age verification isn't required". That however does nothing to stop websites from pushing age verification. When they're about to be held liable and sued for millions, when there's an age verification lobby that has pushed these bills successfully in half the states, when websites should know "reasonably" that theres a minor, they are GOING to go for age verification. Multiple experts agree that this would happen.
Last year, nearly 100+ LGBT and human rights orgs sent a letter opposing KOSA. They were ignored and Senator Blumenthal (same guy who is pushing the EARN IT Act) met with different orgs to "update the language". Except nothing in the update language changes any of it's impact. Sure, they removed "grooming" from being a target of this bill and instead are focusing on "mental health". Except, the Missouri Attorneys General, in his emergency order banning gender affirming care, cited a number of medical studies effectively claiming that access to gender affirming care is causing young people to experience mental health issues. They will use ANY excuse to censor content.
This is the tumblr purge 2.0 but for the entire internet. It's just as bad as the EARN IT Act. And it has IMMENSE levels of support. You have the national Eating Disorder Coalition, child advocacy orgs, the freaking American Psychological Association, LIZZO!!!! supporting this. It needs IMMENSE levels of backlash from us, the grassroots, the people.
The best way to fight back is to CALL YOUR SENATORS. It's now going to go to the commerce committee for markup, after it will head to a vote. This is going to be fasttracked and most likely voted on this month or June. It's all hands on deck.
A bunch of petitions you can sign (takes less than 5 min)
And more information here: Linktree
This is a great TLDR article to read: Vox Article
TLDR; Congress's new bill KOSA that has an immense amount of bipartisan support will lead to internet censorship by giving all state attorney generals, even the ones in Texas and Florida, power to sue websites for "harmful" content and decide what is "dangerous" for minors, force websites to make you upload your govt ID online, and lead to widespread abuse of queer youth. We have to fight back NOW or else we will see an internet-wide purge of any adult and queer content online, globally.
I like to think that at least once, the Avatar cycle seemed to skip the Water Tribe—like people knew it was the water tribe’s turn, everyone was looking for them, the tests are done on all the kids, but like 60-80 years go by and no avatar until some Earth Kingdom kid shows up. People wonder if the cycle skipped a generation or what, but nothing serious was going on at that time so they shrug and move on.
It’s only many many years later that someone is researching Swampbender oral history and someone tells the story of “Ol Stinky Jess, she was a funny one, could light the swamp on fire an’ all sorts o’ shenanigans! Best catfishgator catcher in the tribe, she was” and thats literally it, she just lived a totally chill life in the swamp and nobody knew what an avatar was at the time so they just rolled with that funny gal’s odd bending ways.
Researcher, equally eager and afraid to ask: “So…so why was she called Stinky Jess?”
Cheerful Swamp Elder: “Well y’see, them gases what come out of the swamp in the real dank places, they’s as smelly as a skunkcoon’s hind end, and Stinky Jess, so the legend goes, well she were a bit of a prankster, an’ she’d find a real ripe part o’ the swamp, and then she’d whip up her wind magic an’ waft them stinky smells right into yer house and get er’body hollerin’. They say no one annoyed Stinky Jess for fear o’ being visited by her stink in the night! O’ course, Ol’ Stinky Jess also taught us that soma them gasses are flammable, on account o’ the time she sneezed durin’ a stinkup an’ set half the town on fire, an’ that’s the story o’ how our tribe learned ter harness methane and ter fireproof things even when they’s surrounded by water—”
Researcher: (scribbling notes so fast his quill is smoking)
went from “KITTY” to “That is a grown ass man.” real quick.
So, Boris Johnson wrote an essay in which he talked about the Sistine Chapel and then said : “There is nothing like it in Muslim art of that or any age, not just because it is beyond the technical accomplishment of Islamic art, but because it is so theologically offensive to Islam.”
BITCH
NOT TO MENTION the fact that the prohibition against direct images in Islam was actually the reason for the development of the incredible advances in higher mathematics of the Islamic Golden Age because they were required to create these structures. The Islamic World basically took the ban on images as a “hold my beer” thing and created an entire artistic culture based on mathematics and architecture where art and science fed into and glorified each other, 700 years before the Italian Renaissance.
In conclusion
i will say that islamic art drove me nuts as a kid because i did not have the math knowledge or capability to create such geometric patterns. it may have been the art of my people but by gOD it was difficult and unnecessarily difficult. however my pride in islamic art is neverending. it was frowned upon to be vain in the house, so artists would deck out the places of worship - but places of worship couldn’t be too garishly decorated, or it might detract from worship! the compromise? calm blues and greens, intricate details hidden into the complex patterns. carefully mapped out and planned patterns that were beyond complex and straight into deliberately confusing and practically impossible to replicate. not only that, but verses from the Quran were hidden along the walls, asking god for blessings and care.
muslim art is stunning and i’ll fight the bitch that says otherwise.
Also something underappreciated about the Islamic art is that not only is it geometrically incredible, but the geometry and structure of it has a purpose. In the niches and ceilings, the cascading ornamentation is used for acoustic purposes. In many of the mosques, they are so well laid out and designed that a single person standing on a specific spot can speak/sing/pray and be heard in every single part of the building.
I feel like this should be considered under the same heading as “fascists don’t like abstract art.”
Like, that’s a whole thing. If you look at the art favored by dictators and fascists, it’s almost entirely portraits and landscapes. (Nice, serene, pastoral landscapes, though. None of that war-torn realism stuff.) Rarely still-lifes, unless there’s also a person in the picture. It’s literally common enough to be considered a phenomenon. And while Islamic art isn’t abstract in the sense we usually use the word, it certainly does not include portraits or serene pastoral landscapes. Just, you know. Considering who said this. Something to consider.
Okay, so: in early drafts of Jules Verne's 1870 novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, Captain Nemo is a Polish guy bent on revenge against the Russian Empire for the murder of his family in the January Uprising. Verne's editor objected on the grounds that Russia was a French ally at the time of the book's writing, and in the actual, published version of the story, Nemo's national origin and precisely which empire he's pissed off at are left unspecified.
Later, in the 1875 quasi-sequel The Mysterious Island, Nemo is retconned as an Indian noble out for revenge against the British for the murder of his family in the Indian Rebellion of 1857 – basically the same as the original plan, simply substituting a different uprising and a different empire. Verne's editor raised no objections this time around, because fuck the British, right? Though Twenty Thousand Leagues and The Mysterious Island aren't 100% compatible in their respective timelines, this version of Nemo has customarily been back-ported into adaptations of Twenty Thousand Leagues ever since.
Now here's the funny part: perhaps as a jab at his editor, Verne made a specific plot point in Twenty Thousand Leagues of Professor Aronnax repeatedly trying and failing to figure out where the fuck Nemo is from. At one point his attempt to pin down Nemo's accent is frustrated by Nemo's vast multilingualism. At another point, he tries and fails to trick Nemo by quizzing him about latitude and longitude.
(To contextualise that last bit, at the time the book was written, there was no international agreement on which line of longitude should be zero degrees, and many nations had their own prime meridians; Aronnax hoped to identify Nemo's national origin by calculating which meridian he was giving his longitudes relative to. Nemo, however, immediately spots the ploy, and announces that he'll use the Paris meridian in deference to the fact that Aronnax is a Frenchman.)
The upshot is that at no point in the course of any of this Sherlock Holmes bullshit does Aronnax ever bring up the colour of Nemo's skin as a potential clue. In light of the book's publication history, this is almost certainly simply because Verne hadn't decided that Nemo was Indian yet. However, taking into account The Mysterious Island's retcon, it retroactively makes Aronnax the least racist Frenchman ever.
Truth emerging from the dirt to shame mankind
I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”
Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”
YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”
Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc
The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.
It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.
I agree here, but Parker is ALSO canonically a science and technology nerd. Peter ALSO likes to talk, because he’s nervous, and snarky banter is how he copes, but he tries to avoid any sort of identifying information, creating a situation where he just kind of mirrors whoever he’s talking to, and nobody can agree what age he is. (Marvel characters barely have canonical ages, so I’m making this up) Tony Stark (Late 30/ Early 40s), Comic book ages are fake) has had heated arguments with spider-man about the Starkphone’s latest specs, while also complained loudly about Oscorp, is convinced that Spider-Man is a 30 something engineer, is similarly convinced that Spider-Man probably works for him, and keeps trying to drop hints that like “You know, I respect you, you don’t have to hide from me because I’m your bosses’ bosses’ boss”. Hawkeye (Early 30s) Human Disaster/Secret Agent has reminisced with Spider-Man about being a human disaster, is convinced that Peter Parker is, like, 28 at the youngest. He knows Spider-Man doesn’t collect a SHIELD paycheck or anything, so his mental image is a pretty accurate take on most Adult Spider-Man versions. Brilliant kid struggling to make rent on a studio apartment in Manhattan. Black Widow (Age ???), Professional Spy actually clocks Spider-Man as a Teenager pretty reliably, but doesn’t believe her own assessment, because this is America. American kids play basketball and worry about Prom, they don’t do this stuff. I mean, yeah, it’s possible, since he has powers and such, but no, he CAN’T Be as young. She refuses to believe it. Captain America (Mentally late 20s, chronologically almost 100 years old) has no idea what kids are like these days. But he’s been studying 20th century history, and Spider-Man has mentioned an Aunt he’s close with who lived through some specific events. Assuming that this “Aunt” is, like, 20-30 years older than her nephew, instead of 40+ years, he believes that Spider-Man is solidly in his 30s. Bruce Banner (40s): Is convinced Spider-Man is also an Adult, but for opposite reasons. In Bruce Banners mind, Kids are rude, and Spider-Man has always been very polite to him, therefore, an Adult, although perhaps a youngish one. With his knowledge of Science, Banner imagines Spider-Man as a PHD student. Thor (Age ???? But quite old) Knows that Spider-Man is an adolescent. How old are adolescent humans? 42? That sounds about right. Spider-Man is a 42 year old adolescent who lives with his Aunt. That aunt, who Thor has picked up is quite wise and venerable, is probably somewhere around 500 years old?
It’s bizarre, isn’t it?
When I was writing him, he was always sort of twenty-three, maybe twenty-four in my head. Yet… not. And also: married. (shrug)
Oh well.
Hello everyone! I’m happy to tell you I finished all the content of my first comic book about them!! (finally!!!) And the physical copy (traditional Chinese version) will be self-published and sold in Taiwan comic con.
For now, the English version is available digitally as PDF. I have uploaded them onto my ko-fi shop and itch.io, have a look if you’re interested! 💝
And please remember that most of the content has been posted and can be read for free on here or my other socials. This comic only contains one new story (8 pages). Thank you so much for reading this long post.😅 I'll create more new content in the future.🦾
The Internet seemed to really like the previews I posted of NYC bullying Spider-Man, so here is that episode in its entirety. Enjoy!
LISTEN TO HER ADVICE PETER SHE WORRIES ;-;
“Spidey should drink more respecc women juice”
Not to offer advice nobody asked for but fixing ur sleep schedule is life changing
Things that actually work if u try at them:
Taking a shower if you can, putting clean clothes on if you can’t, even just a clean set of pjs. Washing your face.
A couple weeks ago I was in a major depressive slump and was feeling really detached from reality. I was trying so hard to fight it but nothing I tried worked until I realized I hadn’t listened to any happy music in almost a week.
I didn’t feel like listening to anything at all but I put on my favorite playlist anyway. Take On Me started and I finger stimmed to the keyboard riff and hummed along and by the end of the song I was smiling. A few more songs and I was fully singing along and feeling more present than I had in days.
Even if it seems small and trivial, like putting on your favorite socks or looking up pictures of kittens, it might be something you need. Of course the music didn’t solve any of the problems I was upset about, but it did help me feel like I was a person again.
This isn’t one of those “must be good to be neurotypical” posts btw, these are small and accessible steps that can really help.