evil again :)

Drip. Fuck you mean why

more than anything i want this zucc vs musk cage match to go through and for zucc to pick elon up like a disobedient chihuahua and drop him directly on his head and walk out of the ring without saying anything as the commentators start freaking out because musk isn’t moving and the ref can’t find a pulse

Mark Zuckerberg has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do the funniest thing possible.

okay i was joking initially but like. think about it. brutally murdering the richest man on earth with your bare hands on live TV in front of dozens of cameras and a live audience is about the most impossible thing to get away with, and if it was anyone other than Zucc, they’d be shot dead immediately and that would be that. but which security guard is going to shoot Mark fucking Zuckerberg? you can’t just shoot him, you have to, like, bring him to justice with a trial, because we’re better than that or whatever. and because Zucc has more money and lawyers than God he could probably draw it out for years. decades, even. jury members mysteriously disappear and have to keep being replaced. the judge recuses themselves after receiving an email during the trial with an attached video of themselves sleeping the previous night, filmed from their laptop’s webcam (which they have a sticker over). the prosecutor’s car drives off a bridge on the way to trial and when it’s finally dredged up weeks later the brake lines were cut and there’s no sign of a body.

also hyperpop musicians would sample the head bonk

caught you containing multitudes bro lmao i love every glittering facet

"you couldnt waterboard that out of me" is one of the funniest things you can say to someone on here. right up there with the "sorry my follower added that to your post" cake. i would literally deactivate forever

hi can you delete that last post please? im in a parasocial relationship with you and its so embarrassing telling everyone we're together when you act like that. thanks

having a pet is insane... there is a guy on my floor

can't relate because my beams are powerful. get well soon

you're part of the problem

Finally posting the funniest unironic comment I have ever come in contact with.

TWO THINGS ABOUT ME number one im scared number two im afraid

feeling bored i’m gonna dox a fish

ok here goes

ocean

what the fub

I am studying for my drivers test

hi im complaining about tiktok again and i know this has been said a million times but i despise how the self-censorship that got really popular on there is quickly becoming the norm. why is my podcast that i listen to that is by and for adults and swears regularly censoring the word "sex" in its episode descriptions on spotify, a platform where they dont even censor officially uploaded song titles for songs like "fuck the pain away." why are there book blurbs using "unalive" completely in earnest. why are people on twitter writing s3x. youtubers can at least handwave having to bleep terms like "heroin" bc that's specifically a youtube problem but why in an era where everyone is handwringing about how everything is Literally 1984 do people not seem to care about grown adults gleefully regressing into homestuck typing quirks and ugly babytalk

Humans didn't make the big ben. Do you really think those dumbass Britains could make a clock that big? Those big gears are way too heavy, how'd they get those up there. No way. It was the beasts

Better Call Saul 2.03 “Amarillo”

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

in junior year of highschool my art teacher would let our ceramics class play music of our choice off of her desktop. we usually used spotify or youtube but she did have one album downloaded on her computer. it was a halloween sound effects/ambience collection. i dont remember why she had it. there was a track on there called "burning screams" which was exactly what it sounds like. just a cacophony of screams alongside crackling fire. she only let us play it on very special occasions, and we would cheer and jump with joy every time. it was like a pizza party to us