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My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
emma
Me
When your mom asks you if you have a boyfriend and the girl you fucked is standing right next to you
😏
Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.
oh my GOD THANK YOU
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
i wish i felt more comfortable with myself
u are a garden and sadly i’m like 12 gardens or a greenhouse. i’m better



