Haruspex

scary obama be like: Uhh let me be fear

imagine if aliens found the dead body of a human being exploded in the vacuum of space and they started making fun of the mutilated corpse calling it “splatter alien” and saying it was the ugliest alien in the whole galexy. and then made stuffed animals of it to sell to their alien kids. that’s what happened on this planet to the blob fish

fight the slander. post pressurized blobfish

still a bit of a weird looking cunt if I'm being fully honest.

Every time my dog is intently sniffing at what to me looks just like a random patch of goldenrod or grass, absolutely indistinguishable from any other, I wonder what she is smelling there that I can't even comprehend.

There's whole stories going on that we don't even realize are there because our senses aren't built for them.

@mariecurie42 said:

i bet apes at least look at humans reading, and are like, what the fuck are they looking at

my fav quote by freud is definitely the one where hes writing to his fiancee and hes like im gonna make you eat so much you are just a little weak baby and im a big cokehead

FOUND IT

Happy big & sexually uhhh

Today's Card Is: Infinite Blades

they should call it the fork of july because thats what ill be using to eat all these great side dishes such as cole slaw, potato salad, and macaroni salad.

comedy list of fake future films shown in a 1999 movie

Discussion Questions:

2. Recall the case of the "no zero bungus." Evidently there are forms of bungus which do allow for notes.

while I will leave the question of what constitutes a "real word" to the philosophers of language, I do invite others to peruse the wikimedia commons' list of bungus attestations. (as you might suspect from a word first attested in the early 2000s/late 1990s internet, there is homophobia.)

almost peed my pants today when my bf told me about this dude in his hometown who dressed up like ryan gosling in Drive every day (including driving gloves) but did not own a car. bf was like “yeah we called him Walk”

I feel like a decade+ of 'if you're not the paying customer, you're the product' memes about social media have really done immeasurable harm to the average user's understanding that any revenue their data every earned any non-facebook web 2.0 company is entirely secondary to those companies' actual business model of 'wave chart with big impressive growth curve in front of venture capitalists desperate to find a profitable place to dump their billions while interest rates hover around 0% for a decade.'

reddit is dying twitter is dying tumblr is next as people move over here in response and the corporate side of the company starts drooling at the prospect of EVEN MORE MONEY so they make staff change the website to be shittier and more like the dying websites. whats next? fireside gathering at my house where we pass the posting stick around that indicates youre allowed to make a post with words that come out of your mouth

“the prospect of EVEN MORE MONEY“ is a funny way of framing “Tumblr has never in its entire existence not lost huge amounts of money”. No matter who owned it. With rising interest rates keeping Tumblr alive while it’s losing money is just not a realistic proposition.

virgin airlines isn't a great name for an airline, but imagine getting on a virgin galactic flight. christ alive. there's a new inherent risk that simply doesn't exist with earthbound flights: you might have to explain the concept of virginity to aliens, and then explain why you're on a spaceship named after it

if they don't have a concept of virginity, you're now stuck explaining to the aliens why it does or doesn't matter to you, which would just be an incredibly uncomfortable situation for everyone involved

after you spend several hours spent explaining things, the tall one bows his head. "I see," he croaks in a murky voice, "but what is sexual reproduction?"

and if they do have a concept of virginity, what if they make fun of you for flying on the virgin spaceship

"we have heard of your kind only through your stray communications. would it be presumptuous to assume there is also a chad galactic we might speak with?"

Due to the exciting successes of 'weird horror' and 'hopepunk', we're happy to announce a new slate of literary genres for release in Q3 2023. From now on you can expect to start seeing marketing TikToks and insufferable thinkpieces responding to marketing TikToks about:

LMFAO ZUCK WON BY FORFEIT!