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Still Depressed

@livelaughandeatcupcakes

There’s alot of things I want to tell you Like how I’m still sad everyday but I don’t spend every afternoon on the bathroom floor trying to get the courage to delete your number, Like how I pray to a God that I’m not even sure exists to please make it all go away, please make me go away I want to tell you about the aching that leaks from my pens whenever I try to write And how many times I’ve thought about calling you up and screaming I miss you I miss you I miss you I once read a quote that said that if you truly love someone you’d let them go and if they truly loved you they’d come back I guess the truth is you never really loved me I want to tell you about how I smoke until I can’t feel my body, until I hit the floor and how my friends call it a drug addiction, my therapist named it substance abuse It’s just that when you left, you took everything with you I want to tell you about how I still think of you as my safe place even though that house fell to the ground a long time ago I want to tell you about the sixteen poems I’ve written about you and how i still can’t admit I was in love I used to think no one could break my heart And maybe it’s true Maybe I broke my own

-R.J I was in love