Welcome To My Shia Lablog

“Oh so now you sorry??! You sure as hell wasn’t sorry when..”

The most terrifying five minutes of my life, but now that it’s over, I’m kinda proud of this

BROOO. this is TOO COMMITTED. lol!

Look at this dog

this is like when you’re playing a game with stiff animations and you press left and right a bunch as you run

person: what’s up

me: not much but please don’t ask that every day because then i’ll have to start making things up because i rarely do anything

no offence but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all

Okay, so here’s the story about the pumpkins:

My friend got married yesterday and we missed the wedding because of work but we made it to the reception. Because its mid-September and the reception was in a nature center (awesome!) there was a little bit of a fall theme. Not overbearingly, but the tables all had these tiny pumpkins. 

So they’re cleaning up at the end of it and we’re still hanging out because we haven’t seen these people in forever and we can talk until three in the morning when we get together. All of a sudden, the Maid of Honor hands us a tiny pumpkin. 

“Take one.”

“Um… okay?”

“Take another.”

“….?”

“It is my duty as Maid of Honor to make sure that the guests leave with an uncomfortable number of tiny pumpkins.”

So it turns out that she’d gotten a bunch of them for a Halloween party last year and after the party was over her mom threw them into the compost heap thinking that would be the end of it. But what she didn’t seem to realize was that if you put pumpkins in a compost heap- it grows more pumpkins. It grows pumpkins exponentially. Serious mathematical anomaly pumpkins. 

So this year she has even more tiny pumpkins and she figured it would be a good idea to have them as decor for the reception. BUT- she would still have to throw them out at the end of the day and no matter where you throw them you are doomed to have a ridiculous amount of tiny pumpkins growing SOMEWHERE at your fault. 

So everyone left with at least two tiny pumpkins and that’s how we made friends with the Maid of Honor. 

So I forgot about it and then the next morning I woke up and found these two tiny pumpkins in my purse and had a puzzling moment of ‘what?’

We were invited to the Maid of Honor’s house the other day so we could:

And there are just… tiny pumpkins EVERYWHERE.

They were in the bathroom.

At the end of the night, I counted 26 tiny pumpkins, and that was just what I could see. 

It happened again.

Three pumpkins ended up in my purse this time. 

One of them has a face. 

I need to stop drinking with this woman. 

THIS POST HAS ME DYIN

Notice me, Senpai.

I left some fake in-store coupons at the grocery store

When Jack Warner was casting the movie My Fair Lady, Julie Andrews, who played the original Eliza Doolittle on Broadway, was overlooked for the part, that was given to Audrey Hepburn.

That made her available to accept Mr. Disney’s invitation to play Mary Poppins.

At the 22nd Golden Globes, when she won the best actress award (she was up against Audrey for My Fair Lady), she had her sweet revenge.

THE SHADE OF IT ALL.

My boss told me this story and I didn’t believe it. It’s so good.

human: *gentle “owl” hooting*

actual owls: *tiny velociraptor screams*

@lethaldragon Devil to Charon.

tiny precious babies!

They are perfect in every way.

SHE WENT AWF

fuck him up sis 

I hate waitressing by Sarah Schauer

This is the best joke Disney has ever made. 

The lil licks

@pizzaotter

I need one so badly!!! 😩

dog conquers fear of doorways 

OH MY GOD BABY, YOU BIG FUCKING DORK NO, I CAN’T COPE WITH YOU

LMAO

the ref was like break that gay shit up (but why? lol)

The WNBA is so gay and I love it.

Omg I love this

I think he thought they would fight. Look at his face! He wasn’t expecting a kiss.

That looked like he laughed after he got there. Like WOAH HEY…ohh ahaha.. Alright you kids.

My heart can’t handle this much gay but i need more

I AGREE. MORE PLEASE LOL

There’s a lady in the back who’s face went from “oh no to OH NO” lmao

When will my WNBA wife come scoop me up?

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

I almost cried when she got so happy when her parents saying “yes!”

Byeee They deadass put a receding hairline on a fish

Actual Reasons Why People Were Dumped

is this post secret