Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.
Alice Koller (via ardentromantic)
Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Stay home on New Year’s Eve if that’s what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story.
Susan Cain - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (via sayhellotodanger)
For our most current anon, I feel your pain. Most of my friends (and my boyfriend), are extroverts who like to go to loud bars and get drunk. I felt the same way you did at first, but as our admin said, baby steps. Go ahead and try being the DD, find a safe corner in the bar where your friends can find you. Don't drive with anyone if they have a DD, give yourself an out. You also might consider earplugs- I have a pair that still allow you to hear, but reduces the decibel level. just a thought.
Anonymous asked:
I really detest going to bars and clubs because I'm so introverted. It actually frightens me. When I try to explain this to my extroverted friends, they really make me feel bad for feeling like I can't go with them. I'd rather go to a coffee shop or someone's house, and when I try to explain they just blow me off. I feel like I'm being forced to go to clubs and bars when I really hate it. Do you have any advice?
I can understand! The thing that separates introverts from extroverts, as you may or may not know, is that introverts tend to feel exhausted after spending time in a busy area (say, a bar), while extroverts will feel more excited. This doesn't mean, however, that introverts cannot have fun in these places, just that they can stand it for less time.
However, your situation seems different. What frightens you about the bars/clubs? Is it the new people? The social "obligations" (dancing, drinking, etc)? Is it the fear of becoming over-exhausted (this actually affects my own enjoyment at parties. I get stressed out because I feel afraid that I might get too tired, especially if I have a busy day the next day)?
I would suggest going with your friends, only if you feel comfortable. Then, when you're there, try to eliminate the thing you feel makes you uncomfortable. Baby steps, you know. Don't drink, be the designated driver! Don't dance with people you don't know, if that's what frightens you. Or, hang out in the back, and watch other people dance/drink/make fools of themselves, then join in when you feel comfortable. That always helped me out!
If anyone else has any ideas, feel free to discuss!
If you're wondering...
Another nice introvert blog is http://www.safe-haven-of-introversion.tumblr.com
Anonymous asked:
post/8015190750 - I know this post is old, but I just want to point out that there are waiters, waitresses, and other service workers who are just as introverted as you, but are working those jobs because they need money. They're probably also afraid of you the same way you are of them.
Hi, I have a couple of announcements:
- I'm going to stop making the classic typography posts (I use the word typography very loosely), mostly because I feel like others could make it better.
- The blog will, however, stay active!
- I will keep the submit and ask open, in case someone would like to submit an article or picture that relates to the theme of this blog.
- Or, the ask is open in case someone wants to have a discussion about being an introvert in a growing extroverted world, or what have you.
- But no more typography.
Thank you for your continued patronage!
You know what pisses me off like nothing else? When I request we go home from a day out, and the person I'm with says "Just a second," or "One more minute." It makes me so mad, because it's never just a second or a minute! It's an hour!
i get so frustrated sometimes because i cannot adequately express myself via blogging and i feel like i come off as a twat on tumblr
i am not a twat you need to talk to me like face to face because i make ridiculous facial expressions and i have a weird voice and my hand/arm motions are so big i have hit multiple people when i get in a tizzy
Seconding the "join clubs" suggestion. Most colleges have clubs for pretty much any interest. If, like most introverts, you like to read, I highly recommend finding the campus book/literary club. It's a great place to meet like-minded people who will understand when you need your space.
I'm an introvert in college- it's my senior year. I know how hard it is to get connected on campus, especially when you're really introverted. The blog mod had some really good ideas- but I'd also suggest getting involved somehow on campus. Most colleges have a pretty wide range of social or professional clubs, or maybe in student leadership. Take a chance every once in awhile- you might discover something absolutely brilliant- and it may come from just being polite to the people you meet.
im sure you probably got this question already but i just discovered your blog (thank god) anyway, i've just started college and i feel so horrible. im trying my hardest to be sociable and do things with my roomate but i just dont wanna hang around for a long time. i like to be alone. and my mom just keeps pressuring me to be "chummy" i dont even no what to do. i went for a walk around campus and i literally had the time of my life.
Then keep doing that! I, of course, don't know exactly how you're behaving, but your mom is right. You should at least be friendly, not necessarily chummy. This means that when people talk to you, don't frown or groan (like I sometimes am prone to doing). Instead engage in a small, two sentence conversation. Ask how they are, what their classes are like. Then smile and return to whatever you are doing. If you look busy people understand if you don't want to hang out.
I'm saying this from my assorted experiences in and out of high school, but I assume that college is a different beast. Any other introverts have any experience with this?
Today a coworker got mad at me, as he often does, for not being 'social enough.' When everyone spontaneously decides to go to dinner and I say 'No, but thank you for asking,' in return I get, 'She just thinks she's better than everyone' or 'One day people will just not bother being nice to you anymore.' And I'M the rude one here? Anyway, the point of all this is that I found your tumblr, and it made my day like a million times better. You rock. Thank you.
Do you feel like introverts might be good athletes? I've noticed that since I've been playing "real soccer" (High school soccer), that I am really not the greatest player on the team. I feel like my wondering thoughts make me lose my ability to really focus on the game. Not to mention when it comes to making quick decisions on the field and lets not forget the talking/communication that is needed. Oh, and my team is pretty much extroverted, so that doesn't help matters much.
I personally never played sports much, though I can see how extroversion can be beneficial in a team setting. The thing about introversion is that introverts tend to watch and wait before acting, which in some sports (like soccer or basketball) where quick decisions are necessary, this can be harmful. But sports like golf that require patience and listening introverted characteristics can be hugely beneficial.
