if you ever feel bad about yourself just remember that if you were a fictional character people would probably love you for all your flaws and quirks and mannerisms that you probably hate so just remember that okay ilu
why is this literally the most uplifting post I’ve seen in weeks thank you
My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks.
My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.
Surgeon: Well, consider this. She and I just had a knife fight. And I won. Because she was asleep during it.
My brother: Oh. Yeah, okay, that’s fair.
Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.
Luke Skywalker running away but leaving a map like
John Boyega for The Hollywood Reporter
My mom passed away this past summer and people keep asking me if I'm okay and it is very sweet and it is obviously well-intentioned but I'm kinda sick of it. Like my mom died obviously I'm not "okay". I don't know what to do. Is there any way that I can get people to stop asking?
This may be dubious advice, but you seem fairly well adjusted so I’ll just say…hear what they mean, not what they say. It would be really weird for your friends and such to just walk up and say, “I care about you and want to help” so they have to say the thing people say. But every time someone asks you if you’re OK, what they’re trying to convey is that they care. Hear what they mean and not what they say, and maybe it will be a little easier to deal with this question, which is meant to be caring, but ends up just being annoying.
‘Wookie the Chew’ is an audio book and print series by James Hance that combines Star Wars characters with Winnie the Pooh.
Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.
Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.
That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.
You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.
I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.
I wouldn’t let David electrocute himself so I’m the asshole
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half.
Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium.
This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks.
Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS.
she kicks ass like a coursing river
Saw this post so many months ago and I still think about it from time to time lol so badass
Had the absolute pleasure of meeting her. She’s indeed a kind-hearted and gorgeous badass.
Get ready for Marvel’s PAM.
Who’s Pam? Doesn’t matter. Pam will make three billion dollars.
i would pay to see this
are you fucking kidding me I WANT this movie
I want to see this cheerful lady walking through fire and being badass and sweet
and most of all I want her to save the day with the normal shit she’s toting in that bag.
I NEED this.
‘Let me get this straight. You’re saying our Xanderian captor is in pain from a swollen… thing, and is going to eject us from the airlock? Well why didn’t you say so? Here, hun, I think I got some Aleve in here. You just take that.’
*Alien collapses frothing*
Everyone stares at her in awe. ‘How did you know that naproxen is fatal to Xanderians?’
‘Honestly, you people never have children? I hear EVERYTHING.’
or
‘Oh dear, you need something to bridge to gap between circuits and stop the shortage? I know I got a safety pin, just wait.’
*Ship jumps to warp ahead of pursuit*
Like, seriously, I want her to fucking MacGyver whatever is needed to resolve the plot issues, using Clorets gum, her Kindle, a Starbucks receipt (tall caramel macchiato) and a handful of change and lint.
Because we got so many ‘ordinary’ guy heroes that go on to be extraordinary, and let’s be real - in an actual Holllywood movie Pam would scarcely rate a speaking part. I want a female hero who is a hero without needing a goddamned makeover and just needed the right circumstances to shine. I am up to my goddamn neck with ordinary dude heroes. I’m sick of them. I know everything about them already.
And I want to know more about Pam.
When Jack Warner was casting the movie My Fair Lady, Julie Andrews, who played the original Eliza Doolittle on Broadway, was overlooked for the part, that was given to Audrey Hepburn.
That made her available to accept Mr. Disney’s invitation to play Mary Poppins.
At the 22nd Golden Globes, when she won the best actress award (she was up against Audrey for My Fair Lady), she had her sweet revenge.
THE SHADE OF IT ALL.
My boss told me this story and I didn’t believe it. It’s so good.
Okay, so, I was asked what my favourite pictures of Glasgow are. Here are some I’ve taken over the years.
The aftermath of gigs.
The humour in the face of adversity;
The flowers in Victoria Park;
The heads in Kelvingrove Art Gallery;
The bear on Hyndland Road;
The Mural at Hyndland train station;
The University of Glasgow;
University Avenue;
A man playing a banjo outside the Botanic Gardens;
The colours of autumn in the Botanic Gardens;
And finally, a squirrel eating a sausage roll;
