George: "They transmuted me Jerry! Transmuted me!"
Jerry: "I know you needed cash but you can't just sign up for any old alchemical experiment! Those guys got no guild!"
Elaine: "Look on the bright side. Now that you're made of pure mercury, you can sleep in a barrel. Save a ton on rent."
(Kramer enters)
Kramer: Jerry! Jerry! Constantinople just fell to Mehmed II!
if you're a bad person you age ugly *photo of celebrity with bad plastic surgery*
but if you're a good person you age well *photo of celebrity with good plastic surgery*
i love you surf i love you flamethrower i love you thunderbolt i love you ice beam i love you moonblast i love you psychic i love you earthquake i love you shadow ball i love you sludge bomb i love you dark pulse i love you leaf blade i love you drill peck i love you iron head i love you body slam i love you x-scissor i love you dragon claw i love you moves with 95ish base power 100% accuracy and zero recoil damage
I’m in the woods placing cardboard cutouts of morels in the leaf litter to trick and bamboozle people
I’m about to ruin someone’s whole life
Scamp
tee hee hee hee hee
Me on the phone: "So I think just 3 pizzas should be enough and....hold on a sec. Hey, bro, do you want anything?"
The deer with a human face: 😐
Me: "I never can tell with this guy. Just get him a medium cheese, that's probably fine."
One time i tried to explain this to someone at a party and i stopped in the middle of it because i realized how stupid i was sounding
that onion headline that's like "whatever. the emo kids are all sitting on each other's lap" is their realest one yet
it was clickhole my bad
My dinnar 💪💯❗💥
This is one of your worst posts yet man
You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock













