me looking for a crumb or perhaps even a nibble after my banishment to the shadow realm
I feel like if people realized sexuality was about WHO you are attracted to and not HOW you express your attraction they wouldn’t be ripping apart the bisexual community with new words because some people prefer women 51% of the time and men only 49% or whatever. I’m begging you to pick up a book on bisexual history and to understand the historical fluidity of the term. Don’t care about gender? You’re bi. Care about gender? You’re bi. Prefer one gender over the other? You’re bi. These are personal preferences and don’t deserve their own label when they completely go against 50+ years of history.
anyway im stressed about my future and needed practice drawing hands, so.
a LOT of people are reblogging this as of late. y’all ok?
look i just think Michael “The Spiral” Distortion and Jonathan Sims would be great co-proprietors of the Night Vale library.
michael ruling over the labyrinthine shelves, not unlike the taloned terror librarians; jonathan presiding over all the library’s forbidden knowledge… match made in heaven. i’ve been thinking about this for 4 years.
I feel like so many (especially young) people here on tumblr were beaten over the head again and again with “believe the victims, stop asking them to prove their victimhood” and instead of understanding that this means “don’t dogpile victims because you like the abuser” instead took it to the no-nuance end of the pool and turned it into “if you hear something bad about someone don’t go looking for sources or context” and those are not the same things
You should look at sources. Always. Taking a moment to say “wait, who said that? what happened?” isn’t victim blaming, it isn’t siding with an abuser, its taking a step back to understand a whole picture, in its context.
When you do this,
- you are actually a better ally than just knee-jerk, superficial, performative support.
- you can approach with nuance.
- you can avoid speaking over them, and learn how to be a better, more supportive ally.
- you can avoid repeating old claims that have already been either addressed or disproven.
- you can avoid propaganda and disinformation, which not only serves to undermine whoever its about, but it undermines everyone else.
This post is about political disinformation, but when people get away with making false allegations about abuse or racism or homophobia or any other gross behavior it undermines the positions of actual victims because people who are prone to bad faith can say “ah, that was a scam, victims are scammers”. When you make false claims about politicians, you undermine the political process and allow people who are prone to bad faith to say “see I don’t need to participate”.
I know we hate checking facts and sources here on the internet, but that’s the whole point of the internet. Information is available, and you should be checking your sources before you make claims about people.
Considering how many abusers weaponize this exact thing against their victims, it’s even more important to understand the situation in its entirety if you want to avoid “siding with the abuser”.
DARVO is a thing. pretty much the first thing an abuser does when called out is claim to be actually the victim. as someone who spent years as a moderator on a mental health support forum, i promise you, you can NOT tell which is which just from their statements.
if you need to do something about it, you better fact check, you better keep records, you better use your science brain. otherwise you will just be someone else’s private army.
and if you don’t need to do something about it? maybe don’t. maybe it’s not on you to mete out justice, internet rando.
to clarify further: habitually abusive people are very, VERY good at being ‘better’ victims than the people they hurt. in their own minds, they might even believe themselves to have been the real injured party! they workshop their complaints, their appeals, they fine-tune their act each time they perform it, learning what gets them the attention they want.
again, abusers make for more appealing victims than the people they wrong, because they practice it. they’re sweeter, nicer, sadder, their stories make more sense, their calls to action are easier and more satisfying.
‘real’ victims are left confused, upset, fumbling around to try and understand what happened to them, how they were wronged, who hurt them, how badly they’re hurt, what it all means, how much of it was their fault. real victims don’t have a slick and heart-rending story of woe right out of the starting gate. real victims are dealing with mood swings, anger, outrage, resentment, jealousy, confusion, denial, terror. they lash out. they contradict themselves. they blame themselves for being hurt, they blame people who are trying to help them for not doing it sooner or better. they’re angry and uncooperative, or they’re stiff-necked and emotive, or they’re Perfectly Fine Thank You because why should you get to see the damage? who made you the judge?
you aren’t going to be able to tell who the ‘real’ victim is if you just go with your gut, because that’s exactly what abusers try to manipulate you with. taking the time and space to verify things for yourself is incredibly important if you don’t want to be used to hurt more people.
The juxtaposition of the professional model head shots of the voice actors next to their goofy ass googly eyed Bugsnax they voiced is literally slaughtering me
i think i want a glass packer, it would give me an edge and add a lot of danger to my mundane life
dance too hard in the club and my dick flies out of my pant and shatters all over the floor
Killed on the dancefloor by cock shrapnel
Born with a glass dick and paper balls
Advice from 4500 years ago.
I like ths translation. “it would be wise of you to remember this”
girls just wanna have fun
working a non food service job for the first time in over two years and now i Make Appointments. and the fun thing about Make Appointments jobs is if you dont like someones vibes you can say there are no more Appointments
its like if Sorry you were rude to me so now you get no hotdog! was REAL
luigiman
i think people that deny others medical service should kill themselves
bro i work in a salon
luigiman
you… literally used a dentist office lmao
sorry for not posting a pic of my actual job in the meme i made for tumblr . com i kind of assumed people would get the gist. i do appreciate you doubling down on the suicide baiting tho it shows strength of character
