hurdy-gurdy aficionado

is that none pizza with left beef

Guy who has only seen none pizza with left beef seeing his second divided pizza order.

watch as leninists conveniently ignore that he said this

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

criminalize all marriage and divorce nobody in nobody out

IVE BEEN JERKING IT TO VAMPIRES, THEYRE CALLING ME BRAM STROKER

‪im not like a superhero comic fan or anything but seeing that batman is involved in like regular high stakes superhero shit is sooooo funny. like dude why do you care that green lanterns dad is gonna crash the moon into earth what are you gonna do about that. its handled. but the riddlers gonna blow up the pier if you dont solve his boat riddle dude you gotta stop him. the penguin is robbing the ice factory at midnight‬ he cant get away with this

you dont have time to stop an apocalypse laser in the desert or whatever man Mr freeze and his henchmen have taken over the TV station. let superman take care of the laser. scarecrow is scaring everybody at the zoo you have to do something about it

Hardest working frenchman

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

happy anniversary to godiwishthatwereme.jpg

someone put a birthday hat on them

Ask and you shall recieve

Happy 10 years anniversary to god i wish that were me 💕💞💕💞

guy left at work today and someone replied to his goodbye email with this

My greatest tragedy is that I literally always want a nap, right up until ten pm, when I feel utterly alive and electrified.

I just imagined a creature that would scare you soooo bad dude

no hope for you even at all

I look at the pfps of people liking a drawing of mine and im like oh??

Woah, cute emo guy!! I wanna draw it~ So I did

Well turns out it was a griller

If I was in the jungle i would have died. badly.