guide 4 teens
- tell the cops nothing
- tell the paramedics everything
- ur eyebrows are fine
What if I swab my pussy with this at home covid test to see how absolutely sick it is
As an eye doctor, this shouldn’t be controversial. It’s a problem. 5 years ago, nighttime headlight issues were reserved for people with cataracts or LASIK scars. Today, everyone has problems seeing the road through the oncoming headlights. People are getting anti-glare and blueblocking coatings not bc they are sitting on a computer 8+ hours a day but bc the blue tinted halogens are making them feel unsafe to drive. We are selling insane amounts of yellow tinted nighttime driving glasses even though they’re really only for people with cataracts bc ppl are desperate for anything that may help them deal with the headlights. I’ve had multiple patients tell me they just don’t drive at night anymore.
This is an actual safety issue and it needs to be addressed
doomsday preppers always keeping rusty tins of food in their basement but never building springhouses and smokehouses and paddocks for future livestock 🤨 those canned peaches are only going to bring you so far babe
are you going to study medicinal herbs and their cultivation or are you just going to keep stockpiling weapons like a little bitch 😩
going to shoot your way out of an infected cut, dumbass?
This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
hydro-punk
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em
“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant
“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy
I’ve been doing a series of comics about men being deceived by makeup.
thebrightlightsofamerica
This is the best comic series I’ve ever seen
Agreed
THE CREATOR OF CENTAURWORLD
woormfoood-deactivated20220614
another perfect ad on this perfect website
The ad: DON’T APPROVE THIS AD! DON’T DO IT! DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!
The guy in charge of approving ads:
americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip
i went to england to visit the family of this boy im dating in birmingham. one of his sisters lived in manchester and his whole family kept being like we wish lila was her you would love her blah blah blah lila would just lobe you blah and I was finally like well why couldn’t she make it? everyone was like lol as we said she’s in manchester??? that’s it. i looked up the distance and it’s like less than two hours away and when me and my dude went to grab a beer later that night I was like so does Lila not get along with your parents like what’s up? again, he’s like babe I told you she’s in manchester. I was like are the villages at war????? he goes “it’s too far. this isn’t holiday.” I was like babe we’ve drivin 4-5 hours for weekend trips to the beach Im just confused- and he cuts me off and goes “that’s American me. We don’t do that here”
just seen someone’s tattoo that i guess was supposed to say memento mori in greek alphabet except it was spelled ΜΣΜΣΠΤΘ ΜΘRΦ = msmspth mthrph (?) and i am obsessed like yes girl smsjxhwbesk to you too who needs words❤️
the universal experience
Be proud of being cringe. Evil even
Can I interest you in Fushigi Neko no Kyuu-chan
AWWWWWWWWWW!