going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)
So I found this, I don't know what to do with it, but it will certainly go in the FOX post. FOX News says Biden let the hurricane hilary into the country
im actually SOBBING this is so funny
joe biden is a storm god
somebody do a shitty jpeg edit of joe biden as a storm god ill love you forever
Fucking the weed man for weed. Fucking the texts man for texts. Fucking the milk man for milk. Fucking the egg man for rrrrROBOTS to TROUNCE that pesky porcupine!
sorry boss, i can't make it to work today or ever again for the rest of my life becaus i don't want to
fr it's so bleak that free the nipple faded into irrelevancy like the fact that as a society the Feminized Nipple is something so taboo to be seen in public is just pathetic. if you personally can't handle a bit of nip I hate you. you are psychically weaker than a baby. grow the fuck up.
just got off the phone with hello kitty—yeah it's actually kinda crazy—says she's been really into knives and xanax lately—yeah i know it's pretty wild, right???
we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are
officially decided that anyone who tries to divide the lgbt community is a fed. i dont care if you're not actually a fed, if you're causing infighting in a minority community then you're a fed who just isnt getting paid to be one. either apply for a job at the CIA or shut the fuck up
some people understood this post. some people revealed themselves to be feds
pronouns? oh actually i use amateurnouns im worried if i make a job out of it ill lose the enjoyment
qpr (queer platonic rivalry)
i love reclaiming slurs i'm a faggot and a fruit but cishets need to understand that they shouldn't use them even in a non-derogatory you as a straight girl cannot describe a guy you suspect is gay as "kind of zesty" that's just homophobia
*puts hand on your shouder* its ok dont cry. I know what it feels like to get run over by a car one million times. Forwards and backwards. Until you get really flat and dont have any blood left.
starburstjellybeans
having a bad relationship with ur dad is so fucked up, no one should have to be able to a relate to a front bottoms song