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I'm too young to feel this old!

@lionesshathor / lionesshathor.tumblr.com

Mostly fandom silliness, with some introspective writing and angry activism mixed in. Muses are BoxThing and Foxthing, CONDUCTOR OF THE DENIAL TRAIN!

mirkemenagerie update

Lore Index

I’ve had my own lore compilations thread on the RPC for some time, and now I’m porting the Index over to @mirkemenagerie. So you will now be able to scroll through an itemized list of my lore posts here:

While still finding all lore-related reblogs under the Lore Tag here:

Hope you all like the changes!

Mirke’s Menagerie Lore Index

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Aether & Magic

Deities & Primals

Races of Man & Beastmen

Guilds, Classes, & Jobs

Ul’dah, the Jewel of the Desert

Limsa Lominsa, the Navigator’s Veil

Gridania, the Sylvan City-state

The Holy See of Ishgard

Sharlayan, the Old World

Ala Mhigo

Garlemald

The Near East (Ilsabard & Thavnair)

The Far East (Othard & Hingashi)

Ancient Allag

Meracydia, the Southern Continent

Mamook, the New World

Miscellaneous

The First: Norvrandt

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You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:

Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning

Don’t fuck with flamingos

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….. Didn’t know most of that

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

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Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.

American flamingos just drink that shit

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(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.

When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.

It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.

Earth is an amazing place.

As has always been true but the OceanTemptingFate billionaire slushy sub has made patently obvious, BioShock could never happen because an underwater city built by an objectivist billionaire who hates regulations for being anti-capitalist would fucking implode way before it ever fell to capitalist infighting or people getting addicted to sea slug juice.

"Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No says the man in W-" *bathysphere immediately fucking implodes because Andrew Ryan refused to spend more than $100,000 on steel*

It's true. I can't get into any dystopian sci-fi where capitalists built anything impressive on their own, because it's never happened in reality. Now, a dystopian sci-fi where capitalists co-opted resources/technology from the public sector to then run it into the ground? That's quality cyberpunk.

So this year the Conservative party of Canada decided to book a convention at the same time as Anime North, in the same building. Meaning it’s basically been a bunch of us gays/nerds walking around in costume, confusing the fuck out of groups of politicians and businessmen. 

(A couple of them actually called the cops on us because there were people walking around with giant cardboard weapons. And the police were like “what do you expect us to do? It’s a comic con, we can’t tell them to stop… they literally go through a weapons check at the event”).

(My friends and I also had some of them come up to us at a restaurant to ask us “what the fuck an anime was” and if it was just “one big party”).

This is one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me….

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This happened to me in Charlotte a couple of years back. HeroesCon and the state’s Republican convention were at the same venue on the same weekend.

I witnessed men give an extremely wide berth to a passing Silent Hill cosplayer, a LOT of head shaking, and one woman actually clutched her pearls.

The best part was watching the Republicans attempting to find a place to sit when they broke for lunch and staring at the eating area with both disdain and dispair with their trays.

It was glorious.

A potentially-apocryphal story that has been going around for ages in my friends:

One year, there was an anime/comic con scheduled in Las Vegas at the same time as a Baptist convention.

There was a gentleman of some stature and size who was cosplaying as a demon character of some kind (I have heard it as ‘Goliath from Gargoyles’ as well) who left his room to head to the masquerade and convention floor.

He traveled down a few floors in the elevator and then the doors opened again…. to reveal a group of little old Baptist ladies waiting, all in their church hats and Sunday best, to go to a show.

They blinked at him.

He blinked at them.

And then he smiled broadly at them, one and all, and said “going down?” in a deep, stentorian voice  with a gallant sweep of his arm.

Apparently the door closed without a single one getting on or saying a word.

I can’t imagine why.

One con I used to go to was regularly scheduled at the same time as a cheerleading competition

Most of us didn’t mind the kids and teenagers, of course, although some of them were a little perplexed by us

The actual issue was all the soccer moms, hence why an elevator ride with Pyramid Head turned awkward for much different reasons than you’d expect one year (you’d think the lady would have at least had the sense not to whisper loudly at her kids not to look at PH as if she thought we couldn’t hear her)

Dianne, you’re the one who thinks it’s appropriate to put your little girl in a costume you’d find on the Dallas Cowboys’ cheer squad, you’ve got no place for moralizing.

(And yes, I know Pyramid Head is a horror character, but she was just leaning against the corner of the elevator and not DOING anything besides trying to get a rest on her way back to her room)

Man, the last few [that convention]s I attended were a TRIP. Saw a super-adorable Zidane Tribal get chased down and mobbed for photos by what seemed to be an entire cheerleading team… and a girl who couldn’t have been older than twelve getting a pep talk from some of her friends before asking a Sailor Moon group if she could pose for a picture with them. (They said yes, naturally.) It was overcrowded and LORD some of those parents were jerks, but I do miss moments like that.

About the Goliath story above - I’ve heard it told as “Ifrit from FF8”, “[Hellsing] Alucard with all the extra eyes and mouths and stuff”, and “a Klingon warlord”, so who knows how old/true it is….

my fave cross-convention event i’ve witnessed was still the year some huge GA Tech sporps thing overlapped with Dragoncon and the Hilton bar was full of drunk Klingons cheerfully singing karaoke with a load of drunk college football fans.

Guys! Let’s all troll the next RNC in our convention gear! Clog up the hotels with anime cosplay and furries and Stormtroopers and trekkies and and and…

My conclusion: the nerdier you are the more likely you are to win gold

Got another one lads

another one babes

ANOTHER ONE

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I just love all these nerds showing up on international tv as some of the worlds greatest athletes

we are Not going to leave out Noah Lyles kamehameha 

How does this post NOT have this:

Uzbekistan’s Ball (rhythmic gymnastics) too

“No that’s an oil tank I’m not interested” 😂

THIS IS WHY I MAKE REAL PLANTS IN THE GAME. FOR NERDS LIKE ME.

Same energy:

I can listen to somebody talk about their interests like this forever. Please please tell me what realistic plants you found in your game. please tell me about all the propane tanks you saw in your game.

I do this a lot with animals on screen. Some of my more memorable angry zoology rants are on my blog

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what if, like bats, blood-sucking vampires actually represent a small percentage of the full vampire population and most horrible undead creatures of the night are adapted to eat bugs, fruits, and nectars

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let

them

eat

bugs

You, a Ventrue: dignified, refined, drinks only the blood of virgins from a crystal glass

Me, a Nosferatu: vaccums up every bug in sight while screaming like the goblin I am

Me, a Toreador: Lounges dramatically on a fainting couch while beautiful people bring me beautifully arranged plates of various exotic fruits.

Me, a Malkavian: Takes a big bite out of a flower, muttering “Gotta pollinate.”

These four vampires are your party

The bug eaters probably vacation in Africa. They make up some touristy excuse for going every year, like avoiding crappy winter weather or visiting a hippo sanctuary. As soon as they clear the airport they dash of into the brush hollering “WOOOO! TERMITE MOUNDS HERE I COME!”

Meanwhile the pollinators are shoving their faces into flower beds everywhere, and the fruit lovers are yelling at them like STAY OUT OF MY DAMN MANGOES

This is both hilarious and ingenious. Somebody make this into a novel.

Sometimes a busy vampire doesn’t have the time to forage for nectar all night, so they just carry a big gulp full of hummingbird feeder juice. They’re also fond of honey.

“Blood of VIRGINS?  Seriously?  Have you TRIED eating a fresh mango?  Banana cherries right from the vine?  Dragonfruit?  PINEAPPLE?  No?  And you call yourself a VAMPIRE.”

-goes back to violently rending mangoes from trees and making a sloppy mess…

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Enterprise but in MLP! :)

Taking a short break from drawing humans altogether so here's some ponies (+ deer and hippogriff) instead! I really enjoyed drawing the TNG crew as ponies and whatnot so I thought hey why not try it out with the Enterprise crew!

(Featuring- Pegasi Archer and Reed, Unicorns Trip and Hoshi, Earth Pony Mayweather, Reindeer T'Pol, and Hippogriff Phlox)

(I forgot to colour Phlox's lines oops)

Cursed Enterprise headcanon (maybe AU) cause my favourite series is now Enterprise and they're the closest to the 21st century so I can make millenial headcanons for them and it'd still be considered canon:

  • One time, Malcolm had the crew do archery for target practice and survival training. Ironically, the person who had the worst score was Archer
  • Archer lost Porthos this one time and he was depressed for an entire month. In a show of good will and friendship, T'Pol decided to make it her mission to find Porthos. She brought Archer the beagle back and he was so happy he cried and hugged her for an entire hour. 3 days later, Hoshi and Travis showed up with the real Porthos. Archer was left with one question; If that's Porthos, then who the fuck is the beagle that T'Pol brought? In the end, Archer gave up trying to figure it out and decided to adopt the other beagle
  • T'Pol was fascinated by the human custom of international communities discussion through means of forums as a way to recognize cultures. For her research, she signed up for Twitter. It was then she's convinced humans are fucking stupid
  • Trip had top surgery twice; First time when he transitioned and second time on his arm when he grew those nipples
  • Trip has spent most of his young adult life trying to lick his elbows. Nearly died twisting his neck one time
  • Malcolm had a Green Day phase and Trip laughs at him for it
  • Because he's smaller than most Security Chiefs, Malcolm is very resourceful in combat. Meaning, he bites and claws at people like a rabid animal. He also has near perfect voice imitation which adds to the long list of 'Things Absolutely Fucked Up about Malcolm Reed'. Some people thought he's a skinwalker or some demon
  • Whenever he's drunk, Malcolm shifts through 10 different personalities and accents and all of those are just Dominic Keating characters
  • Hoshi has a soft spot for rodents. She snuck in a bunch of her pet mice into the ship during launch and some of them escaped and at the same time, the whole ship power died and the only ones still active are weapons and warp. Turns out, some of her mice are in Engineering having the feast of their lives (they're chewing on the cables). Trip nearly had an aneurysm while the entire Engineering crew were chasing multiple mice away with brooms
  • Hoshi's role model is Hatsune Miku
  • Travis' role model is also Hatsune Miku
  • Travis plays Roblox. One time he made a Roblox game based off the Enterprise but then the captain found out and told him to shut it down. Nobody even noticed that Archer himself plays Roblox
  • One creature that Phlox absolutely cannot stand is the Earth Wasp. During his first few days on Earth, he thought the wasp was a bee and tried to observe it but instead it stung him and he hasn't forgiven it
  • Phlox is a big fan of Scooby Doo and has spent years trying to find a talking dog. He still believes Porthos has the ability to speak but hides it
  • Hayes is a Brony. His favourite is Applejack
  • The Enterprise crew has a Minecraft server for everyone. The Engineers are the ones who built every structure in the server. The Science and Medical crew are the ones making farms and whatnot. Command crew are the ones mining. The Security crew logs in every now and then just to blow shit up and ruin everyone's day
  • The only time Harris regretted recruiting Malcolm to Section 31 was during his first solo mission and somehow Malcolm managed to bite a Starfleet security officer's fucking fingers off clean and Harris nearly had an aneurysm trying to do damage control
  • Shran tries to learn about human custom through their history since he's a firm believer that history is the door to the present. The next time he greeted Archer, he did a dab and Archer cried
  • Shran went to visit Earth as a show of diplomacy and for a date with Archer. Someone offered to give him more money if he gives them some money and he mistook that for weird human hospitality tradition. He got scammed
  • There's a thirst trap of Soval somewhere and it's on Forrest's private tiktok account

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

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AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

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CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

Is this gonna be a thing every 4th of July ?

YES.

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

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“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

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I mean

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

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This post is a blessing

Reblog with your siren song

“We have chocolate-dipped orange creamsicles…”

“CANNONBAAAALL!!”