Grand Prize Winner of FFXIV in NHK全FF ranking!!No.6 Emet-Selch!

Whether it takes two seconds after the initial appearance or four years, it seems eventually SOMEONE ships one of their OCs with Emet-Selch.

The Sexy Villain Club

Fandom Thorst? Check. Deep, seductive voices? Check. Very Tol and Hawt? Check.

Say hello to our newest members:

Sparkle Sparkle Horn Boi

Aaravos

Mutton chops McBeardsly

Alexsandr Kallus

Rat Grandpa

Emet-Selch

Emet-Selch blaming the Warrior of Light and the Scions because they saved their world from ruin and destruction then complaining how his plans would have been succeed if they weren’t there was one of the funniest moments of Shadowbringers.

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!”

today i will upskirt a wizard

So I'm looking at the EW post-MSQ art and notice something...

"Why does Urianger's arm look weird?"

*squints*

"Wait, are they...?"

Yep, confirmed fistbump.

Usually when I have a fit of insomnia I translate pop songs to Urianger until I fall asleep. This time my brain was like iNfOgRaPhIc???? So, here's a thing. Hope someone finds it useful 😅 Ty to my friend Jen for answering pedantic questions and checking it for accuracy ☺️

I can’t believe Urianger literally becomes Jesus

For all of 2 seconds

So I went back through the Unending Journey book o' memories (aka: cutscenes) and snapped these two shots of Ranjit getting snatched across a bottomless pit by Urianger

Yes, the second image is Urianger, you can just barely see his fist yanking on the rescue rope. And his ears...

I'm using a ps4, I can't get rapid fire shots without a big ol' banner saying screenshot saved.

And have a bonus shot of Thancred just being completely done with the sin eater bullshite. Hurray for gpose and him making that expression all on his own.

*yoinketh*

Did this a while back, but Urianger's milkshake certainly brings all the gentle folk to the yard!

More Urianger in a cowboy hat. Just because it's Friday and everyone needs Urianger in a cowboy hat.

REACHETH FOR YONDER HEAVENS!

It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?

And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno. I gotta hug ‘em.”

And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

“Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.” “Why? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?” “It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a “mean kitty” and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.” “I see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated. 

Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic

Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.

“So I hear that you’ve just recruited a human for your ship.”

“Yes, it’s the first time that I’ve worked with these species, but they come highly recommended. Say, you’ve worked with a few, what tips can you give me? I’d hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding if it’s avoidable.”

“The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m serious. Don’t do it. Things. Happen.”

“But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board?”

“Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators, and are psychologically very resilient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member. Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary.”

“But Toks, didn’t you just say…”

“The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything. If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into. It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him.”

“Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pixia?”

“The very same. Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don’t even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet.”

“A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun?”

“Yup. Don’t leave your humans unsupervised.”

“I’ll uh, take that under advisement.”

“Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get… creative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife. “How… how did you resolve that sir?” “Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.” “And that sated the humans? “Worse.” “Worse?” “They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”

“So, if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets?”

“Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic ‘pet’ shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge.”

“If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners?”

“Yes…”

“You don’t sound very reassuring.”

“Well… You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their ‘pets’ is actually what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider ‘safe’ is what we would consider ‘safe’.”

“OK… I am getting a little nervous about this.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I’m just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order. Ask them to describe the creature before they get it. For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was.”

“What happened?”

Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My entire crew was terrified of it, it was agile and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze it’s ‘beans’ as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it’s deadly claws while saying, and I quote, ‘look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kills things, isn’t it cute?’“

“Seriously?”

“I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature.”

“You are not making me feel better with these stories…”

The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly. 

The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It’s called the Elephant’s Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across.

Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant’s Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

Friendly reminder that this blob of core material was so hot and dense, it melted/burned through three floors of the building before coming to rest in the lowest basement.

And there’s now a unique species of black mold that feeds off the gamma radiation it produces.

Is no one else seriously freaked out by that mold? No? Just me, then?

wiki article about the mold

LOVE that mold!

okay but

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy was someone shooting it with a kalashnikov

I can sleep again knowing that The Elephant’s foot is weak to Kalashnikovs

Only in Russia would an extremophile biologist be packing a Kalashnikov…

Man king Tut was weird as fuck

Became the Pharoh at age 9, married his half sister/cousin, and is only special because his tomb had lots of things in it and all his shit wasn’t stolen.

I mean….you’re not wrong.

Also worth mentioning that he died young due to a spearhead embedded in his hip for like a YEAR, and inherited the shitshow caused by his parents Hatshepsut and Ankhenaten trying to make Egypt monotheistic. (It didn’t go so well…)

If you see ancient Egyptian art depicting a sun disk with little hands on the end of each ray, you’re looking at Aten, the usurping deity.

Also, his name is Tutankhamon, pronounced “toot-ankh-am-uhn”. You guys are getting the first syllable all wrong

So his dad died from an injury?

That I don’t know. I can’t remember exactly what happened to Ankhenaten and Hatshepsut; I’m not even sure if they died or were cast out, TBH

The cousin explainer

Source

I always wondered how this witchcraft worked. Great grandmother rattling off this nonsense from time to time and me thinking she’s just making shit up on the spot…

“Removed”? How were they removed? Was there a divorce? TWICE removed?! Is this a southern thing???

Don’t know about u guys but we still call our parent’s cousins “uncle/aunt” no matter what

Stylo Pen = Kylo Ren’s Evil/Fabulous Cousin.

I had to draw this.

Kylo Ren is merely Pen Stylo’s evil twin!

Moon Moon and his cousin, Cloud Cloud

me realizing my experiences with sewing have been a lie this whole goddamn time:

I don’t know about human surgeons, but that’s a suture pattern I use to close skin all the time and you can see why.

The slip stitch (or invisible stitch) was created to hide seams and later used by surgeons.

My cousin is a surgeon and was sewing something and used that stitch and then froze and said “Wait this isn’t a person.”

Grandma said “We used it first keep going.”

Just one more Barbie meme