This show was the funniest fucking thing

IG: whiteroseartstudio

Am I having a stroke?

I gasped

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

Source: [x]

Click HERE for more facts!

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

I’ve been doing this for years

It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)

Timmy Turner voice: Oh no, I thought I could improve our lives by manipulating a small change in the workings of our reality, but said change has revealed itself to have an unexpected and unfortunate side effect. I now desire to return the world to its original state, but the alteration inconveniently prevents me from immediately doing so. I am upset by this.

Jimmy Neutron voice: Oh no, I thought I could improve our lives by inventing something but my creation has gotten out of hand and led to unintended consequences. Now I desire to destroy my creation and return everything to its original state, but I lost control of the situation which inconveniently prevents me from immediately doing so. I am upset by this.

a thrilling trilogy

Things I Want From Frozen 2: Elsa gets a girlfriend

Things I’ll Probably Get From Frozen 2: Olaf gets a girlfriend who is clearly his girlfriend because she has two snowballs on her chest

Good Frozen 2 Alternate Ending: Olaf gets a hunk boyfriend and guess where those two snowballs are

Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross would have been awsome people to interview on “hot ones”

I blame josh for me being so sarcastic

WHEN WILL PEOPLE FUCKING REALIZE THAT

MEN

ALSO

ARE

GIVEN

UNREALISTIC

EXPECTATIONS

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA

HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS

TO LOOK LIKE THIS???

IT’S 100% FUCKING ILLOGICAL TO EXPECT MEN TO HAVE THIS RIPPED SIX-PACK ABS AND BE SKINNY AND HAVE PERFECT SKIN AND FACIAL COMPLEXION!  MEN ALSO EXPERIENCE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH OUR BODIES ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

finally someone made this

thank fucking god.

Honestly I could watch these 8 seconds from The Eric Andre Show for the rest of my life and I’ll still laugh every fucking time

“I got dreams’ n stuff”

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Killed without hesitation

Why would I inflate a spider

I will beat you with a fucking rock

Aquaman (2018)