that game was a wot of fun i weawwy wiked the pawt whewe you hit me in the wibs with a wead pipe

Hotline meowmi

trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that

i need 2 stop posting after taking my sleep meds jesus christ

hey guys we don't have to rb this post. like we can keep it to ourselves. we can let this post not be rbed.

Trans rights are Markiplier rights.

My life hack is that I have both these things but im not trans, markiplier or intersex.

Im just mildly overweight

Kitty Rule

Fun fact: I also make these noises if you whisper to me :3

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

Is the waitress a lesbian? Or is she a transfem?

If I've taken away anything from the Quinton Reviews situation, it's to never reach out to people I admire because they'll publicly shame me for being weird and awkward

i thought that was a really long balls sack

They look like huge blunts

not a trans girl, just really agree with them

If you tell people what their gender identity is I will break into your house, kiss you passionately on the mouth and then steal all of your stuff

his robot wife would absolutely leave him for a trans woman.

I’m wondering how Mr. Teen Crypto 2015 thinks uteruses work

Cispan gang rise up

once again asking for reblogz plz pretty plz i want tasty data and my follower demographic is small and probably more muslim than average

tldr; I tried to kidnap Santa when I was a kid.

so when I was very young, my parents got divorced, and my mom remarried a conservative Baptist. At this point, they tried earnestly convincing that all of my winter gifts came from Santa

now I was pissed, because my older brother kept getting like Legos and video games and robots, and I kept getting dolls, and if I was lucky they were technologically advanced enough to close their eyes. so I'm like there is a fucking disconnect between me and this "Santa" asshole

so when I was either 4 or 5, I decided to kidnap Santa to have an honest conversation about what was going wrong here.

so we're getting ready for Xmas, and I seriously ask "what does Santa like best?" and my step-dad was like oh he looooves cookies! He wants you to leave them out for him! And I'm like I need to make cookies for Santa. Fresh. As many as we can make.

so we leave out the milk, and the cookies, and I even asked what the reindeer like, and we left carrots for them. then when I thought no one was looking, I put some netting in the fireplace and some of those little things where when you throw them on the ground they go POP! because I figure, well, Santa has to visit a lot of houses fast, so I can hear him when he crashes down the chimney, and then I can run down and CATCH him

so my parents tuck me in at night, I pretend to fall asleep, and then I hide out by the staircase on the alert for the fire crackers (?) to go off

some amount of time passes and I hear a POP! and cussing, and to my glee I scramble silently down the stairs so as to kidnap Santa.

to my indignate rage, I see my stepfather by the cookies and the present, and think, "that is the wrong fat man!!! He is ruining EVERYTHING!!" I then realized that Santa wasn't real, and I had been lied to.

cut to the next morning, and me reigning in my disappointed disgust opening another American Girl doll as my family smugly announced "Santa got that for you!" because they were so insistent on Santa giving me all my gifts, I thought that if I admitted I knew Santa wasn't real, they would stop giving me presents. I waited until I was nearly 12 to admit I knew Santa wasn't real.

that didn't stop the kindergarten parent teacher conference though resulting from me telling my entire class "Santa is FAKE!! Your parents are LYING they just don't want to give you the gifts you actually want!!" and then I bit someone who called me a liar

anyway I'm Jewish now

marriage

There are two genders. Nerf or Nothing.

I have them both and no you cant have them.

Reblog if you‘re a touchstarved desperate slut.