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YOUR WEAPONS CANNOT HARM ME

its a 3 stage evolutionary line and theyre gonna be based on

tiny fluffball stage

lanky stage

majestic fluffball stage

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

This baby goat is having the time of its freaking life

hey kids! lets play a game!! what starts with f and ends in uck?

firetruck

no it was fuck welcome to the real world son

If you flip a photo of bats hanging upside down, they look like they’re having a wicked dance-off.

“tell the class a little about yourself”

OMG I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SPEAKING TO YOUR PLANTS ONLY HELPS BECAUSE YOU’RE BREATHING CARBON DIOXIDE ONTO IT OMG I HAVE THOUGHT THAT TALKING TO THEM  JUST KINDA WORKED BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING NICE AND ENCOURAGED THEM AND SUPPORTED THEM EMOTIONALLY

X

Best Idea for a Halloween Party Ever

More Daily Life Hacks Here

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.

this will be my speech when i win an oscar

Don’t forget the hips, for not lying. 

Toy story alternate ending.

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP

                         SNAP

                SNAP

        SNAP

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP

.

.

            SNAP 

              SNAP

                SNAP 

SNAP SNAP SNAP

     SNAP 

        SNAP 

           SNAP 

Some days I feel like Beyonce and some days I feel like Rihanna…

oh my god who brought this back