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gonna be free, gonna be fine; maybe not tonight

@lilyaceofdiamonds

Lily ~ 30 ~ she/they ~ USA ~ Nonbinary Asexual ~ DC/Marvel, D&D, ATLA, and whatever the month’s hyper-fixation is with a little life angst on the side

“I think cults are fascinating” no they suck please stop telling me about all the documentaries you’re watching. You have no idea.

You don’t know what it’s like to be shamed for having an opinion about — about anything. You’ve never had to cut little potential pieces of personality away before they have the chance to grow and shove them into fictional ocs in the deepest parts of your brain. You’ve never been hypervigilant about what you do/say/wear both at home and every time you leave your house, and terrified that you’ve fucked up at the slightest hint of disapproval.

rb because "You’ve never had to cut little potential pieces of personality away before they have the chance to grow and shove them into fictional ocs in the deepest parts of your brain" HITS SO HARD AS A SYSTEM [with cult/religious trauma] i feel s e e n

My sister has DID so *insert handshake meme* the trauma is there and it sucks but we’ll make it through

btw are you gonna read thattt book camp damascus by chuck.. chuck somebody? queer nd supernatural horror american-evangelical-cult story. might be triggering though 🙁 but i thought it was rly good and affirming

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Hello dear!

Having never HEARD of this book, i immediately googled it, and have now added it to my list of To Reads for the next time my brain decides i’m allowed to read new things. (It will probably be triggering. We’ll go slowly.)

“I think cults are fascinating” no they suck please stop telling me about all the documentaries you’re watching. You have no idea.

You don’t know what it’s like to be shamed for having an opinion about — about anything. You’ve never had to cut little potential pieces of personality away before they have the chance to grow and shove them into fictional ocs in the deepest parts of your brain. You’ve never been hypervigilant about what you do/say/wear both at home and every time you leave your house, and terrified that you’ve fucked up at the slightest hint of disapproval.

Later in the interview, he noted, "The whole volume of the submersible collapses in about 2 milliseconds, and it takes 25 milliseconds for the human brain to detect a threat. So it's not so much that you die, it's that you cease to exist. It's almost the Perfect End."

Finally, a painless way of killing billionaires.

And the great thing was he used all the cheapest materials so we can easily crowd fund a fleet of them to implode billionaires at a fraction of the cost of more traditional billionaire killing methods.

You. You get it.

Into the guillomarine with em.

And you.

“I’ll tell you something, I wrote this particular scene at 2 o’clock in the morning in my kitchen and I wrote ‘age of the geek, brother’ and I started crying at my counter. It was one of those moments where I’m like, am I really writing this scene?” - John Rogers, The Long Goodbye Job DVD Commentary

work is disabling; disability is class-enforcing. adjust ur ideological paradigms accordingly

Can someone elaborate?

sure!

work is disabling

  • physical labour is a literal strain on your body. historically this has been a given of certain forms of labour, eg, even before the official recognition of disability, mine workers in many parts of the world received disproportionately high wages compared to other jobs because it was understood that your body would break down by the time you were 40-50 and you wouldn’t be able to work anymore. the high wages were for supporting you after that, but they were only present where unions had been able to force this demand on bosses; there’s a reason mine working has historically been a common form of slave or indentured labour. this example is an obvious one (and one i wouldn’t want to rely on for various reasons) but if you’ve worked stocking supermarket shelves, or cleaning, or as a barista, or as a farm labour, you will know that being on your feet for hours on end, the repetitive movements required to complete tasks, the strain of constant attention, these all take their toll
  • work environments are stress inducing and long term stress has both physical and mental effects. it can change how you approach other people, how you regulate your emotions, how you relate to social settings. stress can produce strains, it can produce headaches, it can produce tightness in muscles that are can cause injury
  • when you need to work to provide food, rent, clothing for yourself, you are not as able to protect yourself from health and safety risks. you are more exposed to disease and to other health risks, depending on the job, and you are less able to effectively rest and recover, thus increasing the likelihood of long term complications

disability is class enforcing

  • being disabled is expensive. simply getting healthcare at all can be prohibitively expensive for many people. this is not even to mention mobility aids or other specialised equipment. you may have to spend more on specialised diets or accommodation. you may need to hire personal assistants or other forms of labour to complete certain tasks for you
  • there are less jobs that you are able to work. you are less likely to be able to work long term. you are less likely to be able to work longer hours, and your partners may also have to work shorter hours to care for you. you are more likely to be forced into precarious employment or onto benefits which, which available, are pitifully small
  • you are more likely to face job discrimination and more likely to face housing discrimination. the housing you are able to get is likely to be more expensive
  • you are more vulnerable to abuse, either domestic, or in public, or by the state. this is increasingly the case if you are Black or a migrant or a woman or trans or homeless, etc, and it’s increasingly the case the more poor you become

this is not a complete list, it’s just what i could think of off the top of my head (and i just woke up too lol). i hope that clarifies some of the factors i am thinking of here. feel free to ask if there is anything that is unclear

shoutout to the exvangelical girlies, girl adjacent, and former girls this summer (especially plus size ones):

I know y’all are fighting so many layers of programming when it comes to clothes—

can’t show your thighs (sinful, gross, etc), can’t show boobs or shoulders (sin again), can’t show midriff (especially sinful private area!!!) 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Healing takes so long from those engrained mindsets. I’ve checked all those boxes and fought against that mindset since the start of summer.

If no one’s told you yet, it’s okay to wear clothes now that were considered sinful in your past. 💕

Growing your limits little by little will help you figure out your own comfort level and let yourself actually not overheat during the summer.

I’m sending y’all a giant hug 🫂

To explain my chicken obsession:

* * *

Me: I’m enjoying drawing chickens for this commission.

Husband: ha ha Greek Myth Chickens!

Me: 🤔

I now present to you,

🏺Greek Myth Chickens 🐓

ILIAD EDITION

1) Egg-chilles and Patro-cluck (Achilles and Patroclus)

2) Mene-lay-us and Al-eggs-andros (Paris) (Menelaus and Alexandros [Paris])

3) Egg-amemnon (Agamemnon)

4) Aph-roost-ite and Helen of Spur-ta (Aphrodite and Helen of Sparta)

5) Nest-or (Nestor)

6) Androma-beak, Peck-tor, and Astyan-egg (Andromache, Hektor and Astyanax)

7) At-hen-a and Egg-dysseus (Athena and Odysseus)

8) Preen-am and Peck-uba (Priam and Hekuba [Hekabe])

9) Brood-seis (Briseis)

10) Diom-egg-es (Diomedes)

madoka magica is sooo crazy imagine being in middle school and your crush dies and you’re so upset that you kickstart a time loop and repeat the same month 100 times over trying to stop her from dying but unwittingly you make her more and more important to the universe’s continuation (because you have effectively created 100 timelines that are dependent only on the survival of your crush) and therefore her death becomes more and more devastating to the world as a whole in every new timeline and finally your crush sacrifices her life willingly to become a god and you’re the only one who remembers her and this depresses you so much that you construct a whole imaginary universe where your crush is alive and you trap yourself and the souls of your friends inside it and then when you realize it’s Not Real, Actually, you pull your crush (who, again, is now god) down from heaven and become the literal actual devil

14 year olds are just like that

me a few years ago: its so weird how right wingers always wanna blame the "elite" given that alot of them are in the global 1% of wealth and therefore almost by definition the same "elite" they claim to hate. weird right? lol right wing logic makes no sense

me now: oh my god they mean Jewish people. its always been Jewish people. and the insistence of online leftists to use words like "elite" and "cabal" (to refer to a handful of ultra rich people who dictate a lot of how our lives are run) kinda makes them sound like antisemites too. maybe this whole idea that the world is run by a select few is a gross oversimplification which only serves to reinforce antisemitic stereotypes... oh no. maybe i have a lot of shit to unlearn. maybe i need to start vocally defending Jewish ppl. also local community building is the only way out of this

This post has been making the rounds on jumblr and I've had a few different reactions so I just wanna weigh into some things here.

First up:

Jews I love you and I'm so glad that this little thoughtramble I wrote a month ago resonated with so many of you. I hope it helps with educating some people on just how widespread and insidious antisemitism is.

Secondly: I'm a gentile so I'm by no means an authority on these things. But a couple fellow gentiles in the notes are saying stuff along the lines of, "but can't we criticise billionnaires?"

To which I say, watch where you step, cus you're on thin ice. I've learned a litte the past few years and here's my conclusions:

  • Of course a lot of stuff a lot of billionnaires do is reprehensible. On the left we should absolutely be criticising them! The best way to do this while avoiding antisemitism is to be specific about who you're criticising, and what for.
  • E.g. "The people running Exxon, Shell and BP have been sweeping climate change under the rug for decades while actively contributing it, they think their profits are more important than sustaining life on earth and that's abhorrent. We need better laws and processes to stop them from poisoning the planet."
  • E.g. "Elon Musk is a ridiculous manchild who's ruining Twitter and endangering people with his self driving cars and stupid ideas. He's an entitled dickhead and his wealth is mostly derived from colonial exploitation that his parents did. He does not pay enough taxes on what he earns. We need better inheritance laws and to close tax loopholes that allow him and people like him to hoard wealth."
  • E.g. "Jeff Bezos exploits his workers and has an unfair monopoly over online shopping and other convenience services. He needs to pay his taxes and pay his workers more and we need better monopoly laws to stop businesses from being able to control the market like this."

Also, please consider your motives:

  • Are you trying to make a positive difference for, e.g. Amazon workers? Go ahead, raise awareness of their plight and push for unionisation.
  • Are you just trying to find a group that is acceptable to hate? Stop right there and reconsider. No matter how privileged or powerful that supposed group, you're wayyyyyy too close to bigoted talking points.
  • Are you just making sweeping statements in order to rile up emotions and get people on your side? That's fascist tactics. Please don't.

And especially,

  • If you find yourself wanting to say, "I'm not antisemitic, but--" Please just don't say whatever you were going to say. If you have to make that qualification, there is an extremely high probability that what you're about to say is, in fact, very antisemitic. Compare to "I'm not racist but-" or "I'm not transphobic but-" followed by the most vile bigotry you've ever heard. Don't be that person.

Lastly I want to highlight these as well:

Absolutely correct. The amount of times I've come across online bigots who are like "George Soros is funding BLM!" or "LGBTs are elites trying to plunge this country into immorality!" This is all antisemitism. In general just be wary of anyone wanting to blame "elites" or "rich people" (yeah even that one cus historically Jews are stereotyped to have money!!! and also not all rich ppl are inherently evil!!!!) or "shadow government" or "globalists" or "lizard people" or really, literally anything that seems to imply that a small, select group of people is secretly running the world: That's antisemitism baby. It's all antisemitism. It's disgustingly common.

By all means, criticise billionnaires. But be specific. It's one of the best ways to make sure it's not veering into antisemitism. We know who these billionnaires are, for the most part; we know their names and we know their crimes. Talk about them specifically.

It doesn't help if you just swap out "elites" with "billionnaires" or "the 1%" if the rest of your rhetoric remains the same. It sounds exactly the same to antisemites, and they will feel empowered. In truth, it is much more complicated than "billionnaires are running the world and fucking us all over"; some billionnaires are using their fortune for good, and they don't directly cause our problems - they may exploit a system that was set up long before they were born, sure, but your problems are also caused by Sue from accounting and your neighbour ratting you out to the authorities and that kid across the road yelling slurs at you. Your problems exist because society lets them exist, and that includes everyone. The system makes it hard to fight this, and sure, most billionnaires don't help the issue. But again if you're just looking for someone to hate on, it's very likely you're actually reinforcing oppression rather than "punching up".

Sweeping statements are dangerous and a lot of your talking points have been used to justify genocide in the past. Just cus the world's been a lil less overt about its antisemitism post-Holocaust, does not mean antisemitism has disappeared, far from it. And it's being revived at an alarming rate just now so please, Gentiles, pay attention to what the dogwhistles look like and don't reinforce harmful stereotypes.

Thank you.

PS: A few blogs that have helped me unlearn and unpack antisemitism are @spacelazarwolf, @hadeantaiga and @gehe-lihiyot-androgynos-varda with a special shout out to @softness-and-shattering for being very patient with me rambling about jewish/antisemitism related stuff in dms. Youre all soooo great n I appreciate you soooo much <3

There's also lots of Jewish ppl in the notes of this post, I'm sure a lot of them have lovely blogs to follow.

There's some reading recs in the notes as well:

  • Jews Don't Count by David Baddiel,
  • People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn,
  • The Holocaust: A New History by Laurence Rees

I haven't read these books myself, I've read a preview of Jews Don't Count and it's on my list of books to order when I have more money, but basically, go look at what actual Jewish folks have written on the subject, I'm just a random Gentile who doesn't like bigotry so don't take it just from me.