One of the most helpful things I've learned to do with ADHD is when I need to start a task, I don't think "I need to do this task" I think "I need to do (first step of task)".

I don't tell myself "I need to wash the dishes piling up in the sink." I tell myself "I need to get the scrub brush and turn on the facuet." That's easy, so I do it and bam, I've started the task.

"I need to brush my teeth" -> "I need to get my toothbrush wet and put toothpaste on it."

"I need to write this essay" -> "I need to pull up the assignment guidelines and open a word doc."

"I need to go to the store." -> "I need to put on my shoes."

Tasks are easily overwhelming when you constantly think about them in their entirety, so picking the most immediate part you need to so and only focusing/doing that helps to get you to start it with less anexity & stress.

friendly reminder that gypsy is a slur and if y'all gadjo keep saying it i will fuck u up :-)

gadjo (non romani/roma people) can and Should reblog this, btw

rb if your agere is 100% sfw and/or a coping mechanism!

the found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining what family is for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. In this essay I will

Where’s the essay OP

Well enough people mentioned it so…

The found family trope in fiction is an inherently queer trope because it directly involves deconstructing the heteronormative notions of what family is and involves defining family for oneself rather than assuming that the people you are biologically related to are always going to support and care for you. Furthermore it inherently deconstructs and challenges amatonormativity because rather than focusing on a central romantic relationship as the genesis for a family and on forming a romantic partnership as what constitutes making a family, it is focused on close non-romantic bonds. There is an overwhelming preoccupation with family as something immutable and constant because you’re related to them and challenging that is valuable for anyone who for whatever reason is no longer in touch or on good terms with their family. This is a discussion that extends beyond the context of challenging heteronormativity or amatonormativity, but that is the aspect of it that interests me and which I will be focussing on. For the purposes of this essay I will be using queer to encapsulate LGBTQIA+ identities due to the terms wide acceptance in academic circles in the context of queer theory, and because of the application of queer as a verb. This is not just about dismantling heteronormative assumptions and constructs, this is about queering the idea of what family can be and how it is formed.

The found family or family of choice trope, is described by TV Tropes as when characters “mourn the lack of family in their lives and decide to build [a family] of their own out of people they care for and who care for them in turn”. This is important, because the trope often occurs because of stressful or unpleasant family circumstances for one or more of the characters in question, though it is not necessary that this be the case. Because of this, the found family need not be as homogenous and monolithic as a family related to each other, and as such is a great exemplification of solidarity– a very important part of what makes the queer community a singular community rather than many fragmented ones. Disparate members of the community may not face the same challenges, oppression, or stigma, but that does not mean they cannot find common ground and support each other through those various tribulations. Likewise, the found family need not be unified by the same background, the same lived experiences, or even the same reasons for seeking a found family. It is the decision and dedication to loving and supporting one another, to coming together on the common ground they do have and expressing solidarity for that they do not. Beyond it’s values, the trope also serves a valuable role for queer viewers in that it provides a reassuring and valuable alternative to queer folks who are not accepted by their biological families. When as story tells you that a family can be whatever you choose, that the bonds between them are ones of choice rather than biological or legal factors outside their control, that is greatly reassuring to people who need to find a new support structure outside the one they were raised with. At its core the found family is not just representative of quee values, it unseats traditional notions about family structures and challenges heteronormativity– as does any familial unit that does not fall into the narrow confines of a monogamous, straight cis couple and their biological children to varying degrees. It removes the typical vision of a straight couple at the core of a family, the parental homestead as a place always there to come home to, and replaces it with a chosen group to form a trusted and loving community.

The archetypal family unit is deeply tied to heteronormativity as it is centred around a straight marriage as the immutable core of a family, but even more so it is tied to amatonormativity. Amatonormativity is a term originated by Elizabeth Brake to, in her words, “describe the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship”. Again, it is a concept that has application in a number of contexts, but it is chiefly interesting to me in the context of aromantic identities because that is where my personal experience lies, thought it should be noted that there is a large overlap in the ways it harms aromantic and polyamorous people. There is a widespread conception that settling down and starting a family is a universal goal and moreover, is accomplished in a universal way. Amatonormativity manifests itself in this assumption, and unlike heteronormativity, it is not exclusive to that idea of the archetypal family. While it is mainly concerned with the (monogamous) romantic relationship aspect of “settling down”, it often goes hand in hand with the assumption that settling down means children as well, because what else would a family consist of? What else are you going to do make meaning in your life? This brings us back to found family. Rather than prioritizing a romantic relationship as the most important part of a family– if not one’s life– it prioritizes non-romantic bonds. This is not to say that there cannot be romantic relationships as a part of a found family, but they are not the focal point. By challenging just what a family is, the found family challenges the idea of settling down as the only way to have close supportive bonds, not to mention that those bonds must originate with a romantic relationship. Moreover, since the trope more often occurs among characters who are earlier in life than people who would be getting married and having children, the trope rejects the idea that family and children are the only way to make meaning. A found family is no less important for its early formation, but it is no longer the goal of life but rather a support structure that is a part of a larger whole of a life. It directly opposes the amatonormative notion that romantic love is the most important part of anyone’s life, and leaves room for varying degrees of closeness between the members of said found family, allowing for those who do not prioritize or do not experience romantic attraction to still find a way to make family should they choose.

Found family is a trope that keeps occuring and stays present because it is relatable to a great number of people in a great number of situations. It has always and will always have applications outside of the context of the queer community and aromantic circles, but those lenses hold a lot of value for consideration.

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

1. We would miss you. 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again… 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don’t even know you and I love you. 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is. 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life. 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you’re proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. Sherlock season three. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453 UK Helplines: Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111 Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600 Drinkline: 0800 9178282 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614 India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669 Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines; Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430 Australia: 13-11-14 Austria: 01-713-3374 Barbados: 429-9999 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 391-1270 Brazil: 21-233-9191 China: 852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong: 2389-2222) Costa Rica: 606-253-5439 Croatia: 01-4833-888 Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark: 70-201-201 Egypt: 762-1602 Estonia: 6-558-088 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 01-45-39-4000 Germany: 0800-181-0721 Greece: 1018 Guatemala: 502-234-1239 Holland: 0900-0767 Honduras: 504-237-3623 Hungary: 06-80-820-111 Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90 Ireland: 1800-247-100 Israel: 09-8892333 Italy: 06-705-4444 Japan: 3-5286-9090 Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia: 03-756-8144 (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444) Mexico: 525-510-2550 Netherlands: 0900-0767 New Zealand: 4-473-9739 New Guinea: 675-326-0011 Nicaragua: 505-268-6171 Norway: 47-815-33-300 Philippines: 02-896-9191 Poland: 52-70-000 Portugal: 239-72-10-10 Russia: 8-20-222-82-10 Serbia: 21-6623-393 Spain: 91-459-00-50 South Africa: 0861-322-322 South Korea: 2-715-8600 Sweden: 031-711-2400 Switzerland: 143 Taiwan: 0800-788-995 Thailand: 02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800 Ukraine: 0487-327715 Uruguay: 095 73 8483 You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.

if u see this please re blog. never scroll past this. you never know who may need to read this.

We all love you.

If any body needs an ear, no judgements, no condescending talk.

I’m always here and so are so many more.

I can promise you it gets better.

this is so important… mostly because it’s true, and i love you all…. don’t give up

reblog this if you love cats too

Dear caregivers,

If a little asks you to be their caregiver, take that as the greatest compliment you’ll ever receive. The relationship between a caregiver and a little means a lot more trust than you’d find in any average relationship.

Your little is trusting that you’ll know what they need, that you’ll know what the right decision is, that you’ll always take care of them, that you’ll always do your best. Your little is trusting you not to abuse that power. They’re making themselves vulnerable to you, showing you a side of their personality that’s sensitive and very important to them. They’re trusting you to take care of them when they’re helpless.

For someone to say “I want you to be my caregiver” is a direct translation to “I’m trusting you with my life. I’m trusting you to keep me safe. I’m trusting you to know what I need. I’m trusting you with my decisions. I’m trusting you with my trust.” And that is a gift. Do not take advantage of that.

Website I Twitter I Patreon

Once again, thank you everyone for reading, enjoying, and sharing this comic.  Not just sharing in the sense of re-posting this comic, (which you should totally do) but also sharing your stories with me, letting my know how my comics have touched you.  It means so much to me.  Love ya! Stay tuned for more comics! <3

It gives me tremendous joy to see people still reading this comic, and especially when they get something out of it.

Over the years I have faced many ups and downs, just like everyone else. Sometimes it really gets to me how mean people can be to each other. How mean I can be to myself. But for all the Level 1 Trans Fighters out there please know with acceptance, mindfulness, and self compassion I did in fact find my balance. Not a fast process. Basically a complete lifestyle change. Sometimes I lose that balance, sure. But when I choose to present my authentic identity? I’m objectively drop dead gorgeous. Here are a hand full of my looks. You’ll notice none of them are 100% masculine or feminine. Peace be with you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being you. -J

I want a world that is safe for people like this person. If that makes me a “trender” or a “cultist” or a “genderist,” okay.

The world should make room for people in liminal places. The world should make room for people who stay in liminal places all their lives.

We need at least a few of those people. They remind the rest of us that sometimes what looks binary is actually a continuum, and that sometimes the reason we only see the people on the edges is because we punish everything else.

Important ☁️

Things are scary.

Maybe you need a soft and gently purring Fancy making big big mashy paws in the air to help you out!

Reblog this to spread the love!

Please reblog if:

⭐️ you are an age regressor, cg/lre
⭐️ are 18+ (my blog is 100% SFW but following minors, especially ones that regress, makes me uncomfy)
⭐️ are SFW
⭐️ you post pastel aesthetic, kidcore, stuffies, fantasy aesthetics, or just cute stuff in general! ⭐️ or post acnl, Nintendo, or minecraft!
⭐️ are lgbt friendly
⭐️ are willing for us to interact as littles!

I really want more little friends to interact with

(You don't gotta be everything, the first 3 are best though!!)

Share this pancake cat with someone who could use some extra love! ❤️️

Chibird 2020 Calendar | Patreon | Webtoon

Following spree: please like or reblog if you're completely safe age Regression and 1 million percent nonk!nk and non-s3xual and happy for me to interact with you. I want to interact with more people.

if you were looking for permission to eat; it’s ok. you can eat. you have permission.

if you were looking for permission to cry; it’s ok. you can cry. you have permission.

if you were looking for permission to rest; it’s ok. you can rest. you have permission.

if you were looking for permission to bathe; it’s ok. you can bathe. you have permission.

if you need permission for anything healthy and important, but you don’t think you can or deserve to, this is your permission.

you can do it. it’s ok. take care of yourself.

Please, pass on this positive message. Thank you.

Don’t give to A$. Go Red!

Life with a fennec fox. [video]

Feel free to reblog 🍼 Please don’t repost ✨

Mhms