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Baby Boi

@lilsebbyjr

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lilsebbyjr

I just had my first makeup kit delivered in the mail 🥰 I wish I had a mommy or abdl sister who could show me how to wear it 😢

lilsebbyjr

I can’t wait to move in a week and wear diapys again 🥰

lilsebbyjr
princxss-starry

Enough is fucking enough

@stellar-daddy has been emotionally abusing me for months

Gaslighting, manipulating (even into having sex with him) confusing me, planting things in my head that aren’t true that drive me literally psychotic, controlling me financially and physically (he made me dye my hair darker, dress differently, lose weight, etc) to earn his affection - and anything he didn’t like - which now I’m aware he just wanted me to look different and less attractive - he would blatantly say “you don’t look good in hats” and “I don’t like that dress/outfit” and “I’m not into blondes” (this one is especially entertaining because he has crushes on a fuckton of blonde models) and “I don’t approve of you getting a hand tattoo” and when I got it “it looks like a brain, that doesn’t look like a flower at all” (also entertaining, because all his crushes have hella tats, one even has a face tat), and “I refuse to date a vegan, it negatively effects me” - so forcing me to eat animal products just for his approval and “love”. belittling me with adjectives such as “idiot, r word, stupid, crazy, bitch, c*nt, and, my personal favorite, CATFISH (“oh cmon starry you know I said that on accident, I never use the word catfish, I don’t even know what it means”)” “you fuck all these guys and I can’t even watch porn” this one’s funny because his problem as a poly partner was being transparent. He would lie to me, making eye contact, and swear on everything that he was not doing x, y, or z, and when I’d find it on his iPad or phone (whether it be flirting with women he said were lesbian, or purchasing porn when that was my ONLY boundary for his porn addiction - I mean fucking hell those models are my competition, this is my job, just go to pornhub like everybody else - or having sketchy second accounts on snap, Twitter, insta, that I couldn’t have the login to (shoutout to footballguy2472 aka “Bobby”) that was tied to porn sites and random chats with littles I didn’t know about) me finding these things was MY fault. “You went digging for it, you wanted to find that, I don’t know what that is/what you’re talking about, I forgot I had that” etc

Here’s where it gets confusing, and here is why I have allowed this 3 months after breaking up

“I wanna be your daddy” proceeding to suddenly being the perfect daddy, when before he only rubbed his dick to me being little, “you’re so beautiful, I’m the luckiest guy here. I see how everybody looks at you”, ~proceeds to compliment each individual physical attribute~ or, another personal favorite, “I love you.” ~ all of which was to lure me into sexual favors for him, and the moment the deed was done he went back to belittling and abandoning ship, except for the little breadcrumbing here and there. Just enough to make me think he’ll come back.

The “I love you” is what done completely fucked us up here at cap

Stellar very sweetly, about a month ago, offered to pay for our entire hotel room, and offered to be my daddy and let me be little and have the “perfect” quality time with him

Every other Capcon was like leaving a dream. Watching everything get taken down, noticing the hotel becoming more and more vacant

This Capcon is like leaving a nightmare.

He did a number of things to me this weekend:

•ditching me to go check out/flirt with other littles, or rather, say that’s what he’s GOING to do but actually just disappearing to go see my friends while I’m panicking about what he’s doing with who

•tell me my clothes I brought special for cap were ugly and forcing me to buy a $40 onesie because “it’s cuter”

•threatening to leave if I didn’t stop crying/asking the only question on repeat all weekend, which was “why are you doing this to me”

•telling me he doesn’t want to be my daddy because I’m not “putting out” after negotiating there be NOTHING sexual between us on this trip (oh hey, manipulating into sexual favors, wow, that’s not sexual assault or anything)

•confusing me and belittling me into literally losing my god damn mind, then purposely pulling outsiders in and asking “are you okay Starry? What’s the matter with you” and when I ask him to not drag people in he looks at the person and goes “sorry man” with a huge smile on his fucking face, all of a sudden completely levelheaded while I’m here losing my shit, making me look like I’m a fucking psycho flipping out at him for no reason

•it absolutely got physical. Pinning me down, shaking me, smacking my hands/arms when reaching out to him for physical affection, hands around the neck, etc

•showing me messages of him and “lesbian girl” talking about how much of a stupid crazy bitch I am, and how I need “psychological help”

•attempting to masturbate mid-argument (this one was just so fucking wrong dude. Like are you getting off to literally destroying me?)

•gawking at naked littles and making a huge fucking deal about it and how excited it made him, and jerking it onto my body/diaper with eyes glazed over, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY imagining anything else but me

•Turning my closest and most dearest friends I’ve known for years and years, against me. He has officially, 100% isolated me. Honestly this one hurts the most, because either he is a damn good liar and made me out to be the fucking she-devil, or they weren’t real friends to begin with. I’m hoping it’s the first. Only 1 person out of the entire con stood by my side the whole way through (I love you and owe you the entire world @succubunnie)

•blaming me for people not liking him, ESPECIALLY other well-known abdl models. This one confused me too because several people never really was a fan of Stellar until cap, then all of a sudden he was the Utah community’s best friend? He must be sayin ANYTHING to get y’all to fall for that.

•Stellar is a narcissist. He is charming, physically attractive, and agreeable. He likes everything you like. He smiles a lot and laughs at your jokes. While behind closed fucking doors he’s abusing me and making me dependent on him by stripping me of my confidence, stripping me of family and friend support, stripping me of taking care of myself at all, to keep me in his fucking pocket. To use me for my diaper covered vagina.

•saying “I love you” to shut me up into complete fucking submission because “OMG HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME AGAIN OMG HES FINALLY BEING THE PERFECT GUY” and when I ask about it hours later his response is either “it’s your fault I said it” or “it was a mistake, I didn’t mean to say it” or “I am not in love with you, you know that, stop manipulating me into saying it.”

•this last thing is something I’m actually terrified to mention. He has begged me for MONTHS to not tell ANYONE, because he didn’t want me to “ruin his life”. I was ashamed anyway, so no, I didn’t tell anyone. Plus, the honeymoon phase made me think he had no problems and was getting better, so how fucked would it be for me to abandon him when he’s finally working on himself? It took me over 3 months to finally ask my best friend her thoughts on this situation. Her reaction was my answer, and I’m sure all of yours will be the same.

On our Disney world trip, which really was amazing, something happened. Something that would change our relationship for fucking ever.

If child abuse/paedophilia triggers you, please skip this next paragraph.

We were standing in line for a ride. There was a fence that kept us in the line. Behind us were a few kids playing and climbing all over the fence. Stellar pointed out a specific girl, no older than 7 years old, and asked me “why do you think she’s doing that?” I replied “she’s bein a nerd” and a devilish grin appeared on his face when he responded “no, I think she’s doing it because it feels really good.” My immediate reaction was to whack him in the stomach with the back of my hand. I thought he was joking. When I realized he wasn’t, and realization dawned on me, I asked him why that thought would even cross his damn mind. He stumbled over his words and mustered out “oh, it’s a Freud thing.” I taught Stellar who Freud was, because I’m in the social work program. He has no idea whatsoever any of the Freudian concepts are. Months before Disney he would mention paedophilia a lot, going from “if I was a paedophile id kill myself” to “I feel bad for paedophiles, they can’t choose to be attracted to children” and every so often after Disney he’d anxiously ask “do you think I’m a paedophile?” When I tried reporting this to the police, because wtf are you supposed to do in this situation, and now I’m terrified because he has a porn addiction and has hidden profiles and logins, like holy fucking shit what if. Causing him to yank my car keys and cell phone out of my hands and holding me hostage in the bathroom until I “give him back his property” - aka ipad that I’m trying to figure out if there is anything in there so the police can help, then after I finally cave and he lets me leave he texts me and says “there’s nothing on my ipad anyway you idiot” like aight so why you so scared of me or a cop looking through your shit

I brought this to the leader of the salt lake ageplay community, and she said she refused to ban him without proof, and that I shouldn’t tell anyone either.

Fuck. That.

@stellar-daddy is a monster. He is battling demons and mental/personality disorders while refusing to receive any sort of psychological treatment/help. I’ve sat in silence shamefully for too damn long. I’m tired of people telling me not to expose him for who he truly fucking is. And I really, REALLY, think he needs at least a temporary ban from the entire community until he gets some fucking help. I’m finally free of him, but I’m afraid he’ll find his new victim soon if we don’t fucking do something about it.

He has pushed me into thoughts of suicide. In fact, this weekend he said he didn’t care if I DID commit suicide. He has talked me into believing I’m hideous, fat, stupid, crazy, unloveable, too needy, and worthless.

Please reblog this, especially if you’re in or around utah.

Thank you. I can’t fucking wait til next cap so I can actually enjoy my fucking self.

lilsebbyjr

I hope you have a wonderful start to your week. ❤️

lilsebbyjr

I’ve missed little space so much! I’ve been in little space all day today and I haven’t been this happy in so long 🥰