my pet dollar
i deposit her in the bank every morning snd withdrawl her every evening its like daycare
btw last night I had a dream that I was being chased by a killer. as he finally caught me I saw he had a rainbow bracelet so I said “wait you’re gay?” and he replied “it’s diverse”. then he murdered me
never ask a master origami artist to roll the joint. just watched two and a half grams of 31% indica dominant hybrid get turned into a beautiful hummingbird and fly away into the sunset
Tonight my dad asked why hentai has that mosaic pixels thing and as I explained to him about the censorship laws he was like "oh so you know what I'm talking about" and I felt like I walked right into his trap
why does he know that though
Imagine coming home and your son has destroyed all your hangers. I'd have an abortion at 200 months.
apostasy-is-ecstasy
how does it feel to be the funniest person on the internet
ok I actually laughed
sorry for not posting much! they only let me out twice a month
Let you out of what, Miku?
zip file
Anonymous asked:
trump self reported his hair color as strawberry blond....
god it’s so unfortunate that he’s absolutely hysterical
Every time I see my mutuals post in their native tongue that I don't understand I'm like yes 🥰 that's language babes 💖
고추
hehe i said penis
cis people who worry too much about trans people hitting on them are so funny i just cant understand them. are you scared of winning the lottery too?
"what if you found out this guy who asked you out has a pussy? or what if this woman has a dick?" i would do backflips and shout WAHOO YIPPEE HIP HIP HOORAY