just a sad, witchy, & traumatized stoner 🥀(18+)

RIP

My old person trait is that I think a website should work in a web browser and not try to open an app

one of the funniest things i've ever witnessed happened when me and my friends were driving back from a party with some random guy that we absorbed into our group over the course of the night. my friend, who was trans, was in the backseat talking to him, absolutely shitfaced. it was just like normal drunk person conversation until she asked him "do you like girls" and he said yes, and then she lowered her voice and said "do you like girls.. with secrets?"

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so

People who switch pronouns in songs to no-homo the situation are so funny. The idea literally never even occurred to me as a kid. Couldn’t be me. I am a woman scorned. I am a man who had his heart broken. I am a guy who hates his hometown. I’m a country boy, I’m a city girl. I’m a slut. I’m addicted to cocaine. It’s a song, man.

Worst types of country songs:

Best types of country songs:

adhd tip you can replace a “meal” with up to 3 hours of “the app” but watch out

oh man i gotta pee so bad they must have laced this drink with glass of water

tia maria

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.

I would also like to add that the increasing disappearance of jobs that don’t have a customer service or sales element to them makes work more and more inaccessible to autistic people and others with disabilities that affect interpersonal interaction

I’ve done educational panels and organized and facilitated meetups for my conservation and gardening volunteer work, and even though it’s a topic I am sincerely passionate about, it is SO exhausting and stressful. I have to painstakingly script out everything and it takes so much energy. I could not do that stuff every day. Meanwhile I love doing physical labor and working alone but it’s so hard to find paid jobs that aren’t, like, “snort hazardous chemicals in a factory for 12 hours straight.”

‏stay up late with me and tell me everything that’s on your mind

get a guy who says "I know, baby" while you're cumming

The babysitter has given him some crayons to play with :]