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L. (ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ

@lilablauschwarz-blog

„ungenau, jung und dumm“
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whatshouldbesaidintherapy-blog

Things eating disorders are not:

1. Pretty

2. Ethereal

3. Healthy

4. Keys to happiness

5. Enjoyable

6. A phase

7. Who you are

8. 100% caused by society

9. Treatable by ‘eating a sandwich’

10. 100% curable

11. A choice

12. Easy to battle

13. Just about being thin

14. Gender specific

15. Race specific

16. Age specific

17. Socioeconomic status specific

18. Found only in western culture

19. A small problem

20. Your fault

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I’m really jealous about all the pretty girls with skinny legs.

I'm constantly weak and freezing. Stairs are becoming a big problem and walking to school is hard when you feel dizzy.

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letterfromthelost

I Wish...

I wish I didn’t care about those numbers.

I wish I didn’t care if I have or not a thig gap.

I wish I didn’t care if I have or not collarbones.

I wish I didn’t care about the size on my clothes.

I wish I didn’t care if I was or not thin.

I wish I didn’t care that much on how I look.

I wish I didn’t care about what I see in the mirror.

I wish I didn’t care about how much I weigh.

I wish I didn’t care about calories.

I wish I didn’t care how much I burn during exercises.

I wish I didn’t care if i can eat or not eat.

I wish I didn’t care how many hours I have to starve.

I wish I didn’t care about any of this.

I wish I didn’t have to hide how hurt I am.

I wish I didn’t have to push people away.

I wish I didn’t put my ED above everything.

I wish I could enjoy a meal without feeling guilty seconds later.

I wish I could have a real relantionship without putting my ed above the people.

I wish I could enjoy the way I look.

I wish I could dress up and not worry if I look fat or skinny.

I wish I could stop making people worried.

I wish I could be myself again.

I wish I could erease all of this.

I wish I could sit like a normal person without holding someting against my stomach so i wouldn’t feel the fat.

I wish I could eat normal again.

I wish I could stop counting calories.

I wish I could see my weigh as something normal not as trigger.

I wish I could heal everything I did to my body and mind.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my old self that she is ok the way she is.

I wish I could never force myself to purge.

I wish I could forgive myself.

I wish I could love me.

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blackfragileflower
For those who think there’s no such a thing called ‘Ana’ or think anorexics are pretending, liars or just attention seekers. You’re not the one who have mood swings every two minutes. You’re not the one who don’t even know if they are happy or sad. You’re not the one who go around, seeing all people happy and wondering why couldn’t that be you or why couldn’t you have a piece of this happiness. You’re not the one who see all his friends and family cooking and eating whatever they want and you’re guilty and regretful because you had that bite of sandwich although it was your first in a few days or even weeks. You’re not the one who cry themselves to sleep because they saw (what used to be) their favorite food and couldn’t even touch it. You’re not the one who hate every inch of their bodies. You’re not the one who forgot how to be confident and love themselves or even forgot how to love people around them. And DEFINITELY, YOU’RE NOT THE ONE WHO IS ANOREXIC. So please stop judging because I’ve enough b*llsh** in my life…

Blackfragileflower (via blackfragileflower)

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Or boys either. Words hurt everyone. Be kind. Love yourself.