in the living room stressin'

January 20, 2021

I hate that I fully understand this

If anyone deserves a raise it’s the employee from four seasons total landscaping who answered the phone and went “yup, we can set up a podium and everything” and just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe and daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame.

Don’t fuck me up like this

this aged well

I can’t believe 2021 is in 3 months

I wonder when The Fray was writing “How to Save a Life” they knew that it would be used in every hospital/doctor TV series ever at some point.

It’s really depressing how Labor Day has gone from “give laborers a day off” to “give white collar office workers and executives a day off but make retail laborers work so that executives can get a latte on their day off”

Nobody is making anyone work. If you don’t want to work on that day, don’t.

you know what the problem is? the only day we eat stuffing is th*knsgiving, when it is by far one of the worst holidays for many reasons and stuffing is one of the best foods. i think we should eat stuffing all fall long anytime we want. why not? we deserve it. it’s a global pandemic

Quarantine 2020

[video description: person on camera inhales on the party blower, not making any noise and simulating taking a drag off a cigarette. Then exhales as someone off-camera blows into their own party blower, making the sound. Person on camera loses their shit and everyone laughs. End description]

Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

The rest of the world: So… you’re a big country?

The states, standing on each other’s shoulders: Y- yes,,,

I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”

#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird

Yeah 100%

Don’t let these tags die omfg

10/10 can confirm

absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them

I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and can’t understand my life choices. It’s completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.

every single fucking time one of those articles of “things europeans find weird about america” complains that sales tax isn’t included

states set the sales tax!!! it’s literally different across state lines!!! american retailers can’t add it bc they’d have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!

It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.

Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”

“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.

“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”

“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.

“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”

“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”

“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”

“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”

“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.

“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!” 

And so it goes and so it goes…

“What’s sales tax?” says Montana. “What’s road maintainence?” “also what’s a speed limit?”

I still don’t understand why they can’t include sales tax in the physical stores. Is the checkout in a different state to the shelves? It’s not like I’m going to wheel my cart from California to Michigan between choosing stuff and paying for it.

Setting the price for an item six cents different in one state from another in your inventory system is an unreasonable burden on sales software, speaking as someone who has set those things up. 

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