do i know anything about chess? absolutely not, but sometimes this is where dumb conversations with your friends take you

tossing and turning on a terrible blowup mattress in the afternoon heat, AC is useless, sweating through my sheets, fitfully drifting in and out of sleep where I'm having a half conscious dream-vision about the "dave and busters sex room", which is a mysterious room in every dave and busters that is guarded by twin spearmen with the heads of jackals

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

congratulations to me and my funny dog that i drew 8 years ago for getting a million notes

People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I'd pass it on.

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'. And it's free!

inspector gadget if he slayed

@thestuffedalligator I made you a soundpost hope you like it!

this might be a hot take but i think we should still be required to wear masks on airplanes

we need to start hounding people into wearing masks again. why aren’t you wearing a mask on public transit? why aren’t you wearing a mask in the crowded grocery store? why aren’t you wearing a mask in the literal hospital? if you’re half as progressive as you claim to be you’d require masks at your busy events. you’re not a progressive if you’re leaving out the immunocompromised. plus covid can still fuck you up even if you’re perfectly healthy and had your vaccines. wouldn’t you rather be unnecessarily cautious than risk getting yourself or someone else sick? put your mask back on in the crowded mall. coward

ID: image of someone lying down and their spirit levitating out of their body, with the caption “leftism leaving people’s bodies as soon as you ask them to wear a mask”. End of ID.

283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.

"maybe it's not your pussy" is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it's like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.

Okay so craigslist is removing this post but all I know is that that girl is on Tumblr and it would be super cool if I could find her again

I hope you can find her, she sounds amazing

It’s supposed to be Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman but all I see are Mabel Pines going on adventures with Joe Biden.

[I.D.: An adult orange tabby cat looking at us. Its tongue is sticking out. End I.D.]

Kyle Gordon - Planet of the Bass (feat. DJ Crazy Times & Ms. Biljana Electronica) [Official Video]

This is how we win

knew a guy in college who'd open up his academics page and masturbate furiously to his pristine 4.0 gpa. is what he told me, at any rate. after he started getting big money internships he'd also jack off to the salary offers; i'm sure wherever he is now he's doing the same w his annual bonus or stock options or whatever. hate to say it but i think he has life more or less figured out

PS: for entertainment purposes only, of course

PPS: actual Washington Post quote