do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot

enjoys religious imagery but in a objectifying way

ive been making so many grammar mistakes in English lately. SLAY!!! get out of my system evil evil language

My job on the commune is to execute evil wizards with my enchanted blade.

hi buddy

cool blade you got there what’s it for

Well this is awkward

So get this

take me down to paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are (remembers im playing at a gay bar on bear night) men

I love saying “I’m always saying this” about things I have never said

brb gotta to go splash water on my face in the mens bathroom and look haggardly at myself in the mirror

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

grandmas love to have complexes

Are we just ignoring the person that got hit by an electrical blast

She’s just doing it for attention

Woah damn same thing happened to me

don’t bite the hand that fingered you or whatev they say

restaurant with a lobster tank and a warning sign that reads DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EYES and when the waiter comes and asks you which lobster you want you notice one looking right at you and you blink and suddenly youre looking at yourself from inside of the tank and see yourself stand up and start snapping your hands like claws

can’t believe shinji got beat out by a honest to god squid

Fastfood workers carry more weight in society than any giant robot.

it’s so crucial that i lay down for a bit

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made

i'll fuck you eventually relax let me be funny first