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lexx

@lexxfolyfee

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wherewritersblockcomestodie
‘I guess in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.’ First, I want you to feel the weight of that statement. Second, I want you to recognize the truth of it. You’re remembering the first time you saw him. When you were nothing but strangers, with a spark of interest in between you. You’re remembering the feeling that rose in your chest when he told you how he felt about you. You’re remembering being so nervous you could feel yourself shaking when he walked toward you, with a determined look in his eye, and you knew that he was about to kiss you for the first time. You’re remembering the first I love you; the first fight; the first fall out; the first make-up. And you’re thinking of how beautiful it all was. You’re missing him. You’re wishing you could go back to the beginning because it was a fairytale, while the ending is tragedy. But don’t let the ending fool you. Don’t trick yourself into only remembering the good parts. Instead, remember the middle—the grey area. The parts you always tried to forget. Remember the time he lied to you for the first time, and how your heart felt like it was burning when you found out. Remember how he snapped at you in front of the crowd at a football game, and how you stained his tshirt with tears that night. Remember how he gave you up. Remember how he hasn’t tried to come back. In the end, you start to think about the beginning— but don’t leave out the middle. Don’t leave out the grey.

excerpt from an unfinished book #66 // “breaking up is hard to do” (via un-predictible)

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kushandwisdom
Sometimes you’ll find the saddest songs bring you the most comfort and the memories that make you cry are the happiest ones you’ll ever have

- Unknown (via thelovenotebook)

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thelovewhisperer
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thesecretletter
You were the first guy I’ve ever loved we’ve always had a thing even when we broke up and dated other people , underneath everything it’s always been you and me from the start to the finish. And now you’re leaving and I don’t know what to do because I can’t say goodbye without feeling like I’m losing you. I can’t lose you. I can’t let you leave. I know you aren’t going far but it’s still the fact that I won’t see you everyday. Phone calls and face times and text messages won’t satisfy my need to hear and see you. I’m sorry I can’t let go.

Your secrets are safe here (via thelovewhisperer)

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craved-deactivated20230908
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bubbly
it was the beginning of October and i always imagined we’d have the kind of love that doesnt wash away after one bad fight that we swear its nothing lets just stop talking about it. i should have known that one fight would be the ultimate toxic to our next 5 or 10 or even 50 i stopped counting. every fight i swore you’d wanna wash me out of your life and i hoped i wouldnt become a bad habit like your drugs. i wanted to be a good habit not one that ever made you sick. you and i, we’ve always been the kind to avoid our problems and disagree on about everything. you consumed my every thought, and i became a puppet under your control and i thought once i got away you would not be able to hold on to my strings, it’s as if the farther i pushed you away you held on to me even tighter. i wanted the kind of love that no one could talk you out of, not your family or your friends. i guess its funny how the thoughts in your brain show up on your skin and leave bruises in places you thought you’d never be able to hurt yourself, but i guess it felt better to get so drunk i couldnt walk straight than to have to remember how we ended up here. i left you way to many times thinking i was done but just like a bad drug i needed you at every single time i told myself i cant take it anymore just please come back. i thought i was addicted to vodka because it made you go away for a little bit, but when i was hungover instead of spinning in circles i was dialling your number so many times i swear ive memorized your voicemail. i still remember the night i called you and told you it was over, but i called you right back, i couldnt breathe and you said that you’d be right over a few hours passed and at 3am on an october morning the minus 15 weather was the last thing i was complaining about, i barely felt the cold, the tears from my eyes were warming me up. once you showed up, you smelled like coconut but i always wore vanilla and i dont wear red lipstick im into pretty pinks, so i knew when you said you’d you be right over it was going to be right after you’re done fucking her.

j (via bubbly)

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loverwithnocause

Poem from August last

I hope you are haunted By the sight of my face When you let me down, again and again.

I hope you are sorrowful as I When I remember your body entangled with mine; I hope your mind wanders and you find yourself Thinking of the wild nights we spent Keeping each other awake.

I hope you are troubled as I, Trying to recall my voice in your ears And my face in your eyes And then hastily wishing to forget.

I wish my words could reach you, When I speak out into the darkness, “I loved you so, and you left–” I wish you could hear me when I fight with you in the silence.

I hope that when I dream of you Climbing on top of me, Rising to to my mouth, I hope that wherever you are, as you sleep That you’re dreaming of me too.

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