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The Upstate-Downstate Beast

@lew-basnight

I’m officially evil now
lots of swears, no porn

people who want to live in lighthouse - i hear you, i understand you

but i raise you

living in water tower

safer (you not gonna die horrid death so easy), not so cursed but still ominous, you are alone bc you are in a tower but you can do groceries no problem, just chilling above everything else

and look at those beauties!! (from Poland <3)

alchemist-jijo

as an american i was very confused by this post until i got to the images because our water towers look like this, which, as you can imagine, is a completey unsexy place to live

Or consider: living in Chicago water pumping stations offshore for weeks at a time (these are no longer permanently staffed stations, which I think is fuckin bogus)

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I do this not to mock, but to demonstrate Weird Allen’s abilities. You really need to listen with the original still in your ears to really appreciate the labor here. The forlorn, heart-sick weariness of the original is still present, perhaps even enhanced in the revised song. Instead of the vague mysticism of Sting’s lyrics, we know exactly what life is like for the King of Suede. A man who had big dreams, trapped in the quotidian quicksand of retail fabric distribution. He tries to bargain with the listener, as someone who has spent his life dickering over percentages it’s second nature. But in the expansive bargains he offers it becomes clear that the listener is, in fact, sitting in celestial judgement. The King of Suede is bargaining for his eternal soul in the afterlife. How can Sting compete with that?

Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted

"omg it's literally alive!" Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I'm charging you 350$ for an exorcism.

"I read an article that it's showing simple self-awareness" two days, mild preparation, hot and cold reading, I can get 60$ for joints laced with sacred sage

"I just spoke to an AI and I'm... rattled to say the least, come with me on this dark journey" twenty minutes. I've got to science it up for you, but I can get you to come back every week to "disentangle the psychological imprint" for 125$

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remind me to tell you about "the phantom empire" someday

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none of you chumps reminded me but here we go anyway nearly a decade later. the phantom empire is a film serial from 1935 (a film serial is basically kind of like a tv show with weekly episodes but they released it in a movie theater before the main feature) with gene autry in his first starring role. gene autry was a popular country singer in the 1930s, and this role is what cemented him as cinema’s “singing cowboy”. he plays a version of himself as the owner of the “radio ranch”, which he runs as a dude ranch but is also where he sings for his radio show. for reasons i don’t remember, if he ever misses a single episode of the radio show he will lose the ranch. enter the badguys, who try to make this happen so they can get control of the ranch, which they want because it’s built above a giant deposit of radium, which they want to get rich off of. what they don’t know is that underneath the radium is a secret, super-advanced civilization that has flourished underground for 10,000 years. there’s also some teen sidekicks and a bunch of side business i don’t remember because it was close to 20 years ago that i watched it. anyway my main point is that

  1. movies have always been made as a product and the final quality of that product is irrelevant to the money people behind the scenes 95% of the time as long as they’re able to get theater owners to buy them, so given that framework i prefer movies that are stupid and bonkers because they were just churning out whatever they could as cheaply and quickly as possible in order to have something to sell, rather than bloated expensive horseshit that somehow costs $250 billion despite looking like dogshit and is all just the same dumb focus-tested superhero crap over and over and over again; and
  2. the robots in the underground civilization have hat brims built into their heads:

Obsessed with this girl. Queen shit.

"The entire bar is empty!" Because they were closing. And you came in late.

I feel like I remember this group and this night. Go to a different bar. We don’t want you here if you’re going to be entitled and obnoxious