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Just a lettuce with a computer

@lettucetheangstplant

🇨🇱|hēo/she| mostly personal writing posts 🥬
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lettucetheangstplant
WELCOME !!
Hello there, beautiful human. Welcome to lettuce’s horrible tumblr!! I sure enjoy all kinds of content, but especially ocs, writing and art!! 🥬
Anywhoo, a little about me!
You can call me Lettuce, even Niky if you’re feeling fancy 😼 I use hēo/she pronouns, and I’m a minor !!- so no nsfw blogs- I have various interests that fluctuate through time so. Might be something to look out for 🥬
Places I’m in
If you want to find me somewhere else you can look out for:

🥬 oc only blog!!

🍃 Instagram account!! (Silly drawings)

🌱Spotify acc!! (Oc playlists)

🌿 pronouns page!! (In case you wanna know)

#about me#silly lettuce living in your backyard#oh no don’t pull me out I’m ok on the dirt#cmon man you’re so mean
lettucetheangstplant
iris-of-the-eye
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iris-of-the-eye

Join the TMA cult fandom!

We have:

  • overly convoluted lore
  • canon ace protag (pspsps come get yo rep)
  • The Distortion <3
  • spoopy stories
  • no happy endings
  • our own rickroll
  • catboy Elias
  • Martin Knife Blackwood
  • a hot goth that killed a man
  • a dude that ate a book and it was never explained
  • using cement or ice to deal with the paranormal
  • worms.
  • The Admiral
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lettucetheangstplant

[omnious avatar voice echoing] Do It.

#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#come get yo juice aces#no seriously#fandoms#tma#rusty quill tma
lettucetheangstplant
batboi13
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flightyfinch

my FAVORITE tropes compiled thanks to some suggestions from others

  • a character gets a sick burn and doesn’t realize it immediately, at some point later there’s just “HEY WAIT A MINUTE”
  • the double take. this one’s an oldie but a goodie
  • the injured character makes the killing shot that saves everyone else in a dangerous situation
  • a character who isn’t speaking is doing something weird in the background, it’s subtle and never acknowledged it’s just there for those who notice it (pulling another character out of something they got stuck in, making a huge sandwich, etc)
  • the beleaguered assistant inches away from smacking their boss
  • “quick act natural”
  • in that vein, the leader character was just in a shouting match with someone and when they come back the rest of the team scrambles to look like they weren’t listening at the door
  • never forget: “he’s standing right behind me isn’t he”
  • When a character mentions a normal past event and someone else mentions an absurd detail (”Don’t you remember what happened last time you went to the dentist?” “Those deaths were nothing to do with me”) 
  • Multiple characters banding together to lie about something 
  • Characters being split up for questioning
  • Really stoic characters briefly becoming happy, freaking everyone out
  • “I think that went well!” *Distant explosion*

-“quick act natural” *everyone scrambles to do completely random shit that looks anything but natural*

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sevi007

Always a good one:

- Character A is talking, saying something like “It’s not like anybody would ever be so stupid to do that, right”

*scene changes, Character B is shown doing exactly that stupid thing*

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secret-engima

Consider also:

- Character A telling the rest of the cast to “relax, I have a foolproof plan” and then scene immediately changes to show all the cast fleeing for their lives after the failure of the Definitely-Not-A-Plan-Let-Alone-A-Foolproof-One.

- The stoic/sensible character breaking character to do something Completely Reckless and Dumb and then only realizing later that the usually Reckless and Dumb character is rubbing off on them-oh-no-.

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ploofyfun

Characters being taken into custody and lying but each character has a more twisted and convoluted story than the last

very important addition

  • When two characters are looking down at something very shocking and they look up at each other quickly, look back down at the thing quickly, look up, look down, look back up, and SCREAM
  • When character A is talking to character B, and character C is behind character B’s back silently mouthing words or gesturing to character A on what to convey to character B, and when character B turns around character C is like looking at the ceiling whistling like they weren’t listening
  • When a character hears terrible news and as soon as they lock themselves in their room they just break and slide down the door, tears streaming and sobs slipping
  • When a character passes out and everyone else surrounds them in a circle (camera view from the ground looking up), leaning down the exact same way like idiots
  • Dress shopping in chick flicks where character A’s best friend keeps rejecting options like “ew no” “hideous” “I think my grandma has that same pattern on her curtains” and then character A finally comes out with a dress that’s like AWOOGA
  • When a character just doesn’t know how to drive for shit (and is oblivious to the fact, might I add) and the person in the passenger seat is hanging on for dear life
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d-is-for-dumb-ass

- Character who tries to make things worse inadvertently making things better as a direct result of the thing they did to make things worse (Example: character trying to break up a dating couple ends up pushing them to get married) - Character: “No, i absolutely refuse to [insert activity here]”   *Immediately cuts to scene of them doing the thing they just said they didn’t want to do* - Character A: Wait where’s [Character C] i thought they were with you?   Character B: Huh? I thought they were with you?   *Cut to Character C doing something completely random and/or insane* - Situations where a character reveals and/or has the opportunity to use a very specific set of skills or knowledge. Bonus points if the skill or knowledge is an extreme contrast to their established character (Example: Knuckles feminism speech in that one sonic boom scene we’ve all watched)

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lettucetheangstplant

- the bait thing where character A and B are like “we need a bait” and turn around to intensely stare at character C, cutting to them being the bait and running for their absolute life

- when character A is having a phone call with B while they work that goes like this

A, annoyed: what do you want

B: are you busy?

A, doing absolutely nothing: …yes.

- when character A calls B and they’re like “ARE YOU SEEING THIS??” For B to turn on the TV and see EXACTLY what they mean

- the character who’s obsessed/very attached to a specific object, just for said object to be thrown/broken, having the character to be like NOOOOOOO

- the Egotistical and Mean character having the Sweet and Worried arc

- random pauses on dialogs for looking at the camera and having an opening scene to some huge scenery with the characters staring on disbelief

- the “I’m drunk so I’ll be awfully honest with you and you can’t really refuse since you care for me and don’t want me to fall on some sewer holes”

- whatever the fuck these two had. Amazing

#adding to this#fucking love this post#this shit#el dorado#miguel and tulio#yea. yea
lettucetheangstplant
Sonnet of your guts

Soneto de tus viseras -Barlomedo F. Moreno

Tired already of praising your golden skin
Your external and many imperfections,
I sing to the blue garden of your lungs
And to your elegant and ringed trachea

I sing to to your pink intestinal mass,
To the arm, to the pancreas, to the omentums,
To the grey double filter of your kidneys
And to your profound and renewed matrix

I sing to the sweet marrow of your bones,
To the lymph that’s soaked with your skin
To the pungent organic smell you exhale
I want to decay your insides with kisses
Live inside of you with my senses…
I’m a black toad with two wings
Translated by me 🥬
#poem#translation#translated#poem translation#aesthetic#dark aesthetic#cannibal tw#hannibal enjoyers tf you at#nbc hannibal#writing#content#poetry#poems on tumblr#poems and fragments#poems and shit#hello tumblr#poems aesthetic#silly lettuce living in your backyard
lettucetheangstplant
batboi13
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batboi13

Pup appreciation

You were there on day one

You never left

You stayed

You changed

You weathered

But despite all threats you stayed

You have seen every part of me

The worst

And even the best

I apologize for subjecting you to such horrors

But you are the constant comfort

Even as you grow floppy and Grey

You still protect me when I need it

I still get scared of losing you

But in times of sneaky fathers

And in times of them departing

You stayed for me

#tumblr stop having so much talent challenge#might add that this is amazing#completely love this fuck yea
lettucetheangstplant
Cold for surviving

“ When I say that Kostenka is cold I don't mean it as a poetic, gentle sense of beauty hidden below someone's heart. I don't mean 'cold as a river in winter'- whenever I found that quote- but 'cold as a fox that eats newborn rabbits' or 'cold as the bird that lets its weakest child die' cold by nature. Cold for surviving. Neither of us spoke about our respective stories, but it was obvious how it affected us. I can't love someone properly, and she can't be loved, and viceversa. I can't truly remember a moment in my life where I wasn't hurting myself so much, for the sake of someone. I wished Novick to leave forever, to even become someone better for me

But we kept going

I'm still a romantic, so I'll save the rest for myself. ”

From one of my character essays about Kostenka Novick, my oc -🥬
#forgot tags oops#my ocs are my children#my oc#my ocs stuff#oc#writing stuff#oc writing#oc content#own character#character writing#fucking love Russians#lechuga’s ocs are vibing#original character#original writing
lettucetheangstplant
batboi13
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planet4546b

i mean this so seriously if you have any sort of creative project you can and should be a little obsessed with it. you should reread your own writing and look at your own art and brag about your ocs its literally good for your health

lettucetheangstplant
notsureofhere
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notsureofhere

your hands reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. i can tell you build fences for your dad, work on houses with your brother, play video games til the sun rises. i can tell you’ve had a good childhood with the scars. i can tell you wear me familiar. and yet the skin around your fingers is thick. you’ve had to build walls to protect yourself from the unnecessary. nail in signs shouting “get out.” 

and yet here i am, inside your walls. does that make you nervous?

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lettucetheangstplant

Absolutely falling in love with every oc writing I find SO GOOD?? HOW???

#i want to write#i need to write#I NEED. to show the stuff#amazing stuff#I wish this omnious presence lived inside MY walls 🙄
lettucetheangstplant

Investigating true crime for writing stories is insane. Like you’re telling me That Man killed someone?? And this happened in my country?? In a place I could have been in?? Absolutely insane. What am I supposed to do with this knowledge now. There’s a group that kidnaps young men and you’re telling me I’m NOT supposed to write about it?? So wrong. You don’t care about the consequences. You found a good story and you will bring life to the flaws of people. I fucking love true crime and black novels.

#Chilean true crimes are insane#like for real#don’t try this at home#text tag#text post#absolutely unbelievable#black novels are scary to write#researching is fun.
lettucetheangstplant
th3distorti0n
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th3distorti0n

hey, I did a "what entity of the magnus archives are you" quiz! here's the link

Which Magnus Archives Entity are you?
know your fear from the podcast Magnus Archives. It's not necessary to have listened to the podcast to undertand the quiz :)
uquiz.com

hope you enjoy :) also, share your answers!

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lettucetheangstplant

I hate these quizzes 😭😭 absolutely correct in everything damn -🥬

#stop examining me like this#feels like an ant on a 🔍#image made me chuckle I’ll give you that