and I feel like my castle's crumbling down. and I watch all my bridges burn to the ground // my castle crumbled overnight. I brought a knife to a gunfight, they took the crown // once, I had an empire in a golden age. I was held up so high, I used to be great. they used to cheer when they saw my face now, I fear I have fallen from grace // and I fell from the pedestal // pulled the car off the road to the lookout could've followed my fears all the way down
their faith was strong, but I pushed it too far // what's a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me? // I bent the truth too far tonight I was dancing around, dancing around it // you know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough // how long will it be cute, all this cryin' in my room? when you can't blame it on my youth and roll your eyes with affection. and my cheeks are growing tired from turning red and faking smiles. are we only biding time 'til I lose your attention? // will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? // Lord, what will become of me once I’ve lost my novelty? // and I wake up in the middle of the night. it's like I can feel time moving // I wake up screaming from dreaming one day, I'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time // I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost. the room is on fire, invisible smoke. and all of my heroes die all alone. help me hold on to you
I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back // ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off. and here I sit alone behind walls of regret falling down like promises that I never kept // all of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room
people look at me like I'm a monster. now they're screamin' at the palace front gates. used to chant my name. now they're screaming that they hate me // and I'm a monster on the hill. too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city, pierced through the heart, but never killed
and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound // wound open, game token // no one sees when you lose when you're playing solitaire // I should not be left to my own devices, they come with prices and vices. I end up in crisis, tale as old as time
can you see right through me? they see right through, they see right through me. I see right through me // no one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless // and I'm still a believer, but I don't know why. I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try. I'm still on that trapeze. I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me
and you don't want to know me, I will just let you down // you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking // who could ever leave me, darling but who could stay? // it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
the question pounds my head // and I know it's sad, but this is what I think about
