there are very few ancient artifacts that make me more emotional than roman tombstones that thank the reader for stopping by and wish them well. there's simply something so sweet and gentle to me about imagining a traveler stopping along the road to read someone's final dedication and being sent away with the blessings of a thankful ghost
marcus caecilius: good luck and good health to you. sleep without a care.
me:
noah fence but how do ppl 5′5″ and under like survive….
elaborate tunnel system
crumbs
my eyes are positioned such that i can see the sky above me so that i will be aware of hawks and owls
youtuber with a beard merch be like *silhouette of a beard*
When it shpuld be a silhouette of a cock...
Whats not clicking
we need to go back to hating tumblr. no more hellsite (affectionate). don't even think of giving these clowns your money. if i see you with a checkmark next to your name i'm opening fire
*sound of gun cocking* they can be disabled
my #1 favorite piece of dialogue in a magic story ever is this scene in Agents of Artifice where the oracle tells bolas that jace and liliana have arrived. couldnt explain why, but nothing else i've ever read has left such a strong impression on me as this
i can quote "Mind-breaker, thought-taker, eye-blinder, dream-raker. He walks the intentions of others as easily as he walks between worlds, but knows not his own." from heart literally any time. its the best description of Jace ever
there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst
heritage post
come on man
words of power do exist…. i can walk out of my apartment wearing the most fuck shit, e.g. swim trunks as shorts w a zipped up hoodie and no shirt underneath, and just say the words “laundry day” and suddenly it’s way less weird
“laundry day” spell: decreases target’s judgment of outfit by 80%
I picked up a banana print shirt in Vietnam - were talkin LOUD - and the first time someone commented on it I said “It’s banana shirt friday” which stunlocked them and blocked any followup questions.
Turns out that saying “it’s banana shirt friday” enough actually created a holiday at my office where everyone would wear fruit print clothes on fridays! So yes, words of power exist. :)
@cryptotheism relevant to your interests
Spell of Banana Shirt Friday
future archaeologist: these people must have done this for ritual purposes the ritual in question: banana shirt friday
man sometimes i really want to get back into welding but then i remember that the guys from the first course i took won’t be there and change my mind
comprehensive list of things that happened to me in my welding course with The Guys:
- was the only one to get an A the first grading period. had to stop them from putting me on their shoulders
- became the official classroom mascot on account of i was the only girl. this meant i was an integral stop on any and all workshop tours. was referred to as “Our Lady Helena” on these occasions
- almost set myself on fire once bc my prof stood behind me watching me try a skill he’d just demonstrated and he shouted very suddenly very loudly. restarted my heart and asked WTF WAS THAT FOR JOHN and he called me a “goddamn wonder”. i almost got third degree burned over a compliment
- mentioned offhand ONE TIME that swords were cool. also mentioned my birthday offhand ONE TIME. one of The Guys remembered both instances and also happened to find a sword in a dumpster so he gave it to me for my birthday
- came in fifth in an arm wrestling competition
- french braided my hair in class bc i didn’t have time to do it beforehand. ended up with an audience of like 5+ guys trying to figure out how tf i was doing it
- told The Guys my college friends call me barbie. Mistake. suddenly had all 12 of them calling me Barbarian
- had some down time and made a silly little sculpture with some scraps. The Guys were endlessly intrigued by this and demanded to see some of my art school stuff. had a small crowd around my phone cheering loudly every time i swiped to a new picture
- accidentally mentioned the cafe i worked at. Mistake. several days later all 12 of them came in to bother me
- offered someone a haircut. Mistake. had to retract the offer bc suddenly Everyone wanted a haircut and it would Not Be Fair if i only did one
That's not how demographics work.
It could be if we’re all brave enough
Reblog to turn everybody gay by 2047
as always, xkcd has a comic for this
god + angels can't see into the bathroom but they do know when you bring your phone in there
you are suggesting that god is less powerful than apple
i’m a FAGGOT and a WHORE
I sell BAGUETTES at the STORE
everybody wants to rule the world
“the worst they could say is no” true but while they are saying it they very well could hit me with force lightning like palpatine. From star war
Because I'm only seeing other Jews posting about this, non-Jews I need you to be aware that for the past month or two there has been a wave of bomb threats and swattings at synagogues all across the US. They usually do it when services are being livestreamed. I haven't seen a single non-Jew talking about this. High holidays are coming up in a few weeks, which is when most attacks happen against our communities. We're worried, and we need people to know what's happening to us.
