hey bestie, sorry i got so fucking romantic. can i light your cigarette?

well...... choose which you like the most

and this is how mikami got the note

A Twitter user saw an ad for this neat, unassuming house for sale for less than $159,000. 

It had a beautiful yard, so he made an app’t to see it. And, that’s when things got weird. 

The living room was messy and tacky, but it had a nice spiral staircase, an open 2nd fl. balcony, and Mediterranean style. 

But what was up with this mural of outer space?

And these 2 creepy homemade aliens?

Well, the space theme continued into the dining room. The mural made it look like you were in a spaceship that landed on the moon- see earth off in the distance?

Hmmm. This looks like the conference room in a space ship. 

The kitchen is plain, but still has a few touches, as well as a “sealed” hatch door. 

What, you say you like the beach? This house has you covered. The bedroom has a waterbed and that’s real sand on the floor. 

The bathroom is a tropical rain forest. 

This 2nd bedroom is beautifully staged in a hippie retro theme- notice the square bed- it must be a cardboard box.

Look, this spare room is a blank canvas- you can make it anything you like.

And, I don’t know what this is on the mezzanine. 

The back of the house is nice, but it’s a little overgrown- the ivy is starting to cover some of the windows. It was sold for $152,500.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/quirky-home-for-sale-comes-with-a-spaceship-and-a-beach-inside-1.4944934

Whatever the reason, it’s clear that these people were living their absolute best life.

that’s an Animal Crossing house

right-wing christians having an extremely normal one, perhaps the most normal one humanly possible

im gonna start using “Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant”

all classification systems are ultimately arbitrary because no matter how objective we try to be, our attempts at categorizing the world are fundamentally rooted in the values we hold.

which brings me to my next point about horses being reptiles due to Vibes

I cannot handle this post

without a doubt the breakout stars of this election cycle are the 6′10″ lieutenant governor of pennsylvania and his rockabilly wife

he officiated one of the first gay marriages in pennsylvania, is committed to ending the war on drugs, and looks like thanos fucked jonah from veep. she is every single woman at a midnight showing of rocky horror. they live in a “restored car dealership” according to his website. i would die for them

i have never met john and gisele fetterman and i know almost nothing about them. but i know one thing for sure just like deep in my soul: he proposed at wrestlemania

lieutenant governor henry “lurch” rollins here doesn’t live in the official lieutenant governor residence, instead choosing to use it as a free recreation center and swimming pool for underprivileged children

once again: i would die for him

More cool stuff: Gisele is a Brazilian immigrant and she co-founded 412 food rescue, which is a nonprofit focused on ending hunger and sustainably fighting food waste. She also trolls her husband on Twitter a lot and has fully embraced the acronym SLOP (Second Lady of Pennsylvania).

Literally every episode of My Cat from Hell

Neatly summarized as: people not knowing how to properly take care of cats

The episodes that don’t conform to this formula are also always the most interesting. These situations include:

1) I Didn’t Know My Cat Had PTSD and Has Gone Blind.

2) Your Cats Fight Because One of Them Doesn’t Know How to Speak Cat, and They’re Both Kinda Mad/Confused About It. 

3) Your Cat Sprays Everywhere? Get Them Fixed. Surprise Twist: They Were Fixed But It Was a Botched Operation.

4) We’re Going to Rescue 50+ Kittens, Take Them to Vegas, and Adopt Them All To Loving Homes.

5) This is Not a Cat. This is a Dog. 

I think ur first studio ghibli movie determines part of ur personality. Mine was my neighbor totoro, and my little brother’s was ponyo

Straight people are so weird. They’re like “cooking is a woman’s job” unless you’re grilling then it’s a mans job. And cleaning is a woman’s job but the mans gotta take out the trash can’t let the ladies touch that icky garbage. And fucking gardening is for women, except mowing the lawn, that’s for men. Who the fuck came up with this shit??

Women doing the daily jobs and men doing the once in a while jobs seems to be the trend

freud would not last a day on mcr tumblr 

this is the type of person she was and should be remembered for, she saved her kid

To gif makers wanting to make edits in honor of Naya Rivera. There are many beautiful and iconic moments Naya gave us on Glee.

The one moment that I ask you to not gif is the Santana rant to Kurt in 6x03, Jagged Little Tapestry.

Naya has gone on record saying she absolutely hated that scene. As the writers used it to insult Chris and he cried after they filmed it and Naya hugged him. She hates that scene. So honor her with moments she loved.

👏🏻 support 👏🏻 creators 👏🏻 or 👏🏻 they'll 👏🏻 lose 👏🏻 motivation 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 create 👏🏻 things 👏🏻

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

Turn to page 14 to climb into the clowns jaws.

Turn to page 6 to turn around and walk away.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.

i feel like counter-trolling is an essential skill that kids online aren’t learning and it’s kinda worrying

like back in my day, the day of online forums, learning how to trick someone in to getting themselves banned was an essential skill. if you could tell someone was a chud, you would ask them short, leading questions and watch them get frustrated and post longer and longer rants until they said something that would catch a mod’s attention and get them banned and/or at least publicly humiliated. 

and guess what? that’s the exact same tactics the alt-right use now. these people are exclusively acting in bad faith. every interaction these people post online is done with the intention of getting someone to respond to them so they can screenshot the massive paragraphs of text and laugh

so, what’s the solution?

dare ‘em to post dick pics.

don’t acknowledge the content of the stuff they post. if you see someone trying to engage you in bad faith just dare them to post pictures of their penis until they either get frustrated and leave or get frustrated and do it. either way they lose. 

this is the tactic used by the fans of a podcast (that i haven’t listened to) called the Chapo Trap House, and 4chan’s /pol/ users fucking HATE them. they hate Chapo Trap House and think they’re crazy because Chapo Trap House fans refuse to engage in meaningful debate and repeatedly demand dick pics. they get frustrated and leave. it works. 

Some of you never used your position as a mod on an a series of unfortunate events forum to get a racist troll to post evidence of their tax fraud and it shows

…that second comment is oddly specific and I’m a little scared