Hot queer spaces tip: never trust any spot that has fewer than 2 fat and hairy people present!! You have no idea what other problems the space has if they can’t even meet the bear minimum

Absoluta y completamente necesario

I was having a perfectly fine tuesday night and my partner has to come in an ruin it with

You know it's Wednesday?

Like it's my responsibility to know what day it is? Cmon

Happy you know it's Wednesday Tuesday Wednesday

you're a fool if you think I'm not surfacing this for others to see

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

using the device

big day for lemon-stealing whores

this is the best headline i’ve ever seen this is the most thrilling moment of my life

YES

anyone else relate

Frodo and Sam’s journey if it took place in the United States

Average trip to Florida

we must take the ring to jacksonville

Floridor

My cat sounding like Marge Simpson

you're laughing. marge simpson got turned into a cat and you're laughing. how is she going to get groceries like this

She is going to go on a journey of self-discovery and learn that her value is not tied up in her ability to get groceries. She will be forced to grapple with the unfamiliar sensation of being cared for and appreciated by a family who loves her for her and not out of the expectation that she can contribute in return. She might run away to cease burdening them, only to realise (watching them stay out all night looking for her) that they love her for her, and accepting that she has inherent worth and mutual love with her family is the key that changes her back.

I know how this goes, I read fanfiction.

derrin im gonna sue you for emotional damages

the funniest thing that’s happened to me recently is that someone seemingly tried to update my pronouns on the medical system but accidentally made it so that my actual name is now “They Them”

I’m all scratched up and I can still taste spray paint in my mouth and my husband almost fell out of a tree BUT THE GHOST SCULPTURES ARE FINISHED!

They’re finally finished and I’m so happy with them!!

Some progress shots:

Wow!!!

IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN

@straycatj

I love learning about other culture's Houseguest Protocols but I hate hate hate when they don't match up cause like

I (PNW Canadian, raised with etiquette from my old British great-grandparents) sleeping over: Can I help with dinner. Can I do the dishes. PLEASE let me do something useful. Im sorry I'm here. I can sleep on the floor it's fine. You don't need to cook for me I can go outside and drink pond water. Do you hate me

My friend (Indian, raised by entire extended family in Dubai) hosting me: Why won't you let me feed you. Do you need more coffee. Am I doing something wrong. Do you have enough blankets? I will buy you warmer clothes. Here, you can sleep in my room, I'll take the couch. Why are you crying? Oh God am I a bad host

'yeah it's made with love, not skill'

this. is so fucking cute.

‘its made with love, not with skill’ that is ADORABLE

A collection of ancient ceramic paintings depicting Achilles in a blanket being miserable and pathetic.

That's the post. Sorry that some of these are mircowave quality.

I can't really pick a favorite, I like them all equally. They're just so silly looking.

THEY KEEP ASKING ME IF I WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I KEEP ASKING WHY THEY WANT ME DEAD

job interviews

hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard

i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.

happy cheffin! :)

I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don't want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:

dear god please let our new baby octopus feel confident enough to move out of her corner hiding spot today while i’m on exhibits so i can see her properly for the first time amen

she stuck out a single arm before changing her mind and deciding the rest of the tank is too scary, far too scary by far she is scared