Camilo: sEVEN foot frame, RATS along his back, when he calls your name it all fades to black yeah he sees your dreams and FEASTS on your screams

Mirabel:

gay😎irl

I love when people see 3,000 year old jewelry or a famous art piece and put it in their #want tag. Like, are you gonna rob a museum? Love you.

A Full Face of Rhinestones

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

I love her so much

I would die for that little fucking clown bear please let me die for that little bear

you and me both buddy

⤷ 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 ⭑ 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵!

rebecca hazelton is a published writer but can’t even manage to write convincing dialogue for a toddler

truly amazing

this is my favorite response to her bullshit tweet

Kids say spooky shit like this all the time when they’re really little, though. Usually, it’s stream of consciousness exactly like that while processing ideas. “Everyone dies one day.” Concept the kid has learned. “Everyone.” Reiterating who dies, though they probably don’t include themselves in that definition of “everyone.” “Even wolves.” Wolves are living things, kid is processing that all living things die. “But not books.” Books are not living things. Books don’t die. “Not words.” Words are not tangible objects, and people keep talking after other people die, so death does not affect words. Final verdict? “Words don’t die.” It’s one of these things that sounds super profound to us as adults, but that’s because we’re putting our own, deeper meaning on what was a much less philosophical construct. This kid could very well have said all of these sentences in this very order. But they were listing what does and doesn’t die while trying to understand death. They weren’t making some statement about the soul of literature. Our adult brains are inserting that meaning, then declaring that no child could ever have used those words as they cannot apply to anything but our interpretation of them.

Like, it *could* be made up, but declaring that it *must* be made up based on our own perception is just adult egotism dismissing the notion that children are fully capable of utilizing words that we would use. They are. They’re just more concerned with communicating with themselves than with others, because they’re trying to understand the world.

That sounds exactly like a thing my son would have said at age 3. So does “poo broccoli”. Not only would he have said both of those things, he would have said them right in a row, and not seen any issue with this.

People who think this is fake have never met a kid.

@derinthescarletpescatarian

The toddler I live with says stuff like this all the time. It’s perfectly “convincing” toddler dialogue. I don’t know what 3 year olds the people in the notes have been hanging around to say they’re not this articulate, they absolutely are. Their pronunciation tends to be pretty shit but their grammar is usually decent and they always say random shit like this. Are you guys actually listening to and talking with your kids or are you just assuming they can’t speak well?

I was an articulate three-year-old. By the time my younger brother and sister were three, they were also quite articulate. My stepbrother and stepsister were aged three and four when I met them and both spoke in full sentences too.

I don’t remember what random things we all said at those ages but I’m quite certain there were plenty. I used to record myself on tape, so I captured a bunch of things I said out loud, including recitations of stories on tapes I had, repetitions of things people had said to me, and the rather memorable instance in which I earnestly promised I wouldn’t swear any more, after never having uttered a swear-word up until that point in my short toddler life, followed immediately by me saying the five worst swear-words I could think of at the time. I even said one of them twice because the first time I stumbled over it. “Fuck” was spoken in a reverent whisper and very quickly because it was the worst one I knew.

That is the funniest shit I have ever heard

I have a niece who, when she was about three or four, shouted, “Anyway, God is dead!” in the back of a car. As it turns out, she wasn’t channeling Nietzsche but just misunderstanding the information she’d been given about the meaning of Easter.

Please tell your niece I love her.

The “this is clearly fake” people are extremely tiresome.

Kids are wild. My housemate’s 10-year-old nephew talks about politics with her, and it’s very impressive to hear his chirpy little voice going on about current events. “3-year-old” can mean anywhere from “just turned 3″ to “almost 4″, and for kids, that can encompass a lot of language development in between. Especially if you talk to them.

I was 3 when I had an argument with my grandma that Mary’s name was clearly “Mrs. God”, because if she and God had a baby, and you all told me that you have to be MARRIED to have a baby, then obviously it follows that her name is Mrs. God. (I know this because I had a minor speech impediment at that age, and couldn’t say my “th” sounds, and it was the same Christmas when my uncle was a dick about the fact I couldn’t say “I’m three”.)

Kids also parrot shit they hear all the time.

When I was three I supposedly told someone at church, “all the world is made of faith,” which sounds hella profound in that setting until you realize I was quoting Peter Pan by JM Barrie, “all the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”

My tiny little brain just made the connection between the word faith and ran with it.

My niece, who’s about 3.5 years old, constantly says weird things that we know she doesn’t fully understand the concept of, but we know she’s got some understanding.

For instance, she constantly refers to herself as a ‘small business owner’ when playing cafe. We’ve no idea where she’s got that phrase from, probably the tv??, and when asked about it she says ‘I don’t want a boss. I want to be my own boss of my cafe ‘cause mummy’s boss makes her sad’

She talks about ‘remember stones’ and keeping them clean so that people ‘remember skeletons who have become stars in the sky’ which is how she verbalises wanting to clean headstones in the church yard of their cobwebs.

She also picks up complicated words at random. I tend to lower my vocab usage a little around her, so she doesn’t get confused, but if I’m talking to another adult, and she’s about, I don’t. This has led her to pick up words like ‘consolidation’, which had a memorable usage when she was two and she told her mum and I that we needed to consolidate our crisp packets i.e. put one inside the other to save space and my sister looked at me like ‘see this is what you do’. Or ‘obfuscate’, which she butchers the pronunciation of so much so that when she said ‘daddy is obfuscating the tv’ we thought she’d said a swear word until we sat down and tried to work out what she was saying. Then her dad blamed me for that one too.

Other times she’ll say she wants farts for lunch. So there’s that.

As someone with lots of little sisters and tonssss of little cousin and who also just works with kids. Talk to and listen to little kids, they say some wack stuff and can understand so much.

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THIS

a tutorial on rescuing someone from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation

Damn. She did everything right. Yes, this is dangerous. But even a violent man is still human and can be outplayed. Predators rely on a pattern or routine. Disrupt the routine, and the predator freezes up. Once you disrupt them, don't give them time to develop a response. Be bold. Be decisive. Talk loud. Act fast.

How should I approach this as a man? I wouldn’t want to make her more uncomfortable but I also wouldn’t be able to physically intimidate anyone because I’m short and un-athletic.

Talking to the woman is going to be hit or miss, just because she won't know if you are an "out if the frying pan, into the fire" situation. BUT, you could still go with "thanks for waiting, you ready to go? Oh, who's this?" And if she walks with you, you can say that she looked uncomfortable. I had a guy once ask if I could help with his phone to get me away from a conversation. OR: talk to the dude. "Hey man, can you give me directions to this place? Don't I know you from somewhere?" Etc. Then she has time to escape. There are no set in stone answers, even if you don't handle it perfect, if she gets out of the situation safely, count it as a win

Thank you for the response!!

Talking to the dude works!

One of my colleagues spotted a woman facing slightly away from a man who was talking to her, who was scary close. She looked uncomfortable and made eye contact. He noticed the guy was wearing a Broncos jacket and nonchalantly passed them both by and started the sports speak to the dude, like "aw bro did you see the defense last night? Hell of a time to he a Bronco fan, right?" And stood slightly behind the guy so he had to turn away from the woman. She said a cheeky "I'm not into sports, g'night!" comment and slipped away to the elevator. The dude looked super pissed but just stalked away to his car.

What was he supposed to do, admit to bad intentions?

Sometimes you don't need to be the savior, but a distraction.

@sapphicspritzee look tiktok stole the post you made like 7 years ago

im fucking losing it lads

I’m crying this is so cute

Mans I was literally ranting earlier about how love is a scam and doesn’t exits but this, this proves me wrong thank you

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

this is by far the best explanation of how asexuality and sexual attraction works

as someone who's actually got no sense of smell, the actual comments i usually get are:

not even (x)?

you're missing out on so much.

that must be great not having to deal with the bad ones.

did something happen to you?

can they fix it?

which like, all comments that i'm sure ace people have to deal with.

yep, 100%!

I actually have a friend who is both asexual AND has never been able to smell anything in her life.

So yes, this post is. Super spot on.

For anyone not so familiar with cat behavior, this cat is out of its mind excited to do this. It’s much more rare for cars to wag their tails but it means the same as it does when a dog does it. This cat is curious and proud and playing. It keeps looking at its owner too, like “LOOK AT ME, DAD” and it’s so rare to get videos of cats this happy. This is fucking rad

Nope.. wagging tails means anger or irritation in cat body language.

hey y’all, hope you don’t mind me stepping in!

you’re both right :) a wagging tail means the cat is highly stimulated (think coiled spring, ready to go off). depending on the situation, this can be interpreted differently - just like people can smile nervously at job interviews vs. happily grin at friends.

in most cases, it’s safe to interpret overstimulation as ‘you’re doing something to amp up the cat & it wants you to stop’ (ex. unwanted petting). it should be seen as a warning; all that pent-up energy COULD be released as a swat or bite.

BUT in this case, that tail-wagging ‘frustration’ is the stimulation that comes from problem-solving (where can I jump? is it safe to go here?) and the excitement of play. it’s good to be wary of ‘cute’ animals vids, but this seems like an unproblematic video!

I’d like to add to this–just look at world-famous box-loving cat, Maru, who wags his tail every time he stuffs his body into a box or other small object. He’s clearly not about to attack the person behind the camera! It’s definitely based on stimulation, but more to the point of “ahhh FINALLY I’ve gotten into the small space, now how do I get the rest of me inside”:

i love everything about cats ever always

Tail going = brain working

In the last weeks in Palestine

Don't look away from Palestine. Israel will keep on doing these crimes if they think they can get away with it. The best we can do is to clog zionist propaganda. Palestinians have been systemically silenced on social media and news outlets, and Muna El Kurd, one of the leaders of the Save Sheikh Jarrah movement, has already said that spreading the word is very important to fight zionism.

Be angry and amplify Palestinian voices. The above links go back to activist accounts, follow them and share their updates. Attend protests (here's a constantly updating list of pro Palestine protests) and follow organizations to know when the next ones will be held. Some of them: USCPR, Palestinian Youth Movement, Within our Lifetime, Arab Resource and Organizing Center, and Mohammed El Kurd (he often posts calls for action from all over the world on his stories).

man has no need for the 9 - 5 workday. you know what man DOES need? chickens, a food garden, ample time for hobbies/creative endeavors, a picnic basket, various jams also.

And 2 hats for weathers

and 2 hats for weathers

ty for stealing this one much appreciated

people in the notes suggesting it was "improper" for the juror to do this or that it "introduced bias" to the court proceeding 🙄 the ice agent in question accused a moc of assaulting him / resisting arrest. how is the agent being a white supremacist not relevant. what universe are you living in

As a member of the world’s SECOND oldest profession, I assure you this is just one of many ways the justice system is systematically fucked up.

For anyone who wants to know how to fact check something you are told while on jury duty without getting fined:

First, you need to understand that the rule that jurors can’t just google things is coming from a good place. Like imagine that you are on a jury that’s considering, say, a medical malpractice lawsuit and one of your fellow jurors comes into the jury room and says to you, “I think the victim’s expert was lying because WebMD totally contradicts everything they said.”

And you might be like, “But WebMD is notoriously unreliable website and the expert you’re talking about is a researcher from Mayo Clinic.” But this person cannot be swayed.

Like, we can all agree that would be bad.

So even though these rules can contribute to unjust outcomes as in the case above (and seriously, the fact that the defense attorney didn’t fact check that is probably grounds for legal malpractice), they also prevent jurors from just looking up bullshit online and taking it more seriously than the actual experts the court has put on. And I think in the era of anti-vaxxers/QAnon/COVID denial/etc., we can all understand why it’s a bad idea to trust that people can tell fact from bullshit online.

So in light of this, how do you as a juror fact check something?

The key here is that you have to ask the court for information. Jurors can ask questions of the court during deliberations, so if something you said sounds off to you, you can ask for more information.

The key term you want to use here is “credibility.”

The job of a jury is to decide what are called “questions of fact.” Long before the trial even starts, lawyers will have hashed out all the “questions of law” --- like, what the statute of limitations is; what laws, exactly, were allegedly broken; whether the court you’re in even has jurisdiction; stuff like that. Jurors are responsible for deciding which side’s version of the facts has more credibility.

For instance, if the prosecution’s witness says X and the defense’s witness says Y, the jury is responsible for deciding which is true, X or Y. And you do this by weighing which one is more credible.

So in this case, if the juror had known to, he could have told the judge, “In order to properly assess the ICE agent’s credibility, I need more information about his tattoo. I have doubts about whether he was telling the truth about it, which would impact how credible I would find his testimony. Can the agent please provide evidence that it really is what he says it is?”

There are a lot of problems with our legal system, and I think one of the biggest is that jurors aren’t educated about what they can and can’t do. Juries have a lot of power, if (and only if) they know how to use it.

when tumblr gets inevitably deleted lets all go on one giant google doc