idk whats funnier: that tumblr got people to spend multiples of $7.99 to add fake verification checkmarks to their blog to ""make fun of"" twitter's latest fuckup, or that these checkmarks literally do not show up for mobile users and thats why i had no idea this amazing feat of opportunistic capitalism was even happening until just now

Imagine working at Marvel and when someone ask you what you do you have to tell them your job is to basically edit out Marvel actors’ d—

i'm not just a pretty face. i also know the letters of the alphabet

-Do you know the alphabet?

-Yes! Until 100!

"are you the person who says goodnight to everyone at 9PM then stays up all night reading fanfictions at tumblr?"

you know what day it is……….

vegans making honey a bee labour issue is the funniest thing imaginable because like, you picked the one animal that has already unionised

the day i discovered fanfiction was the best day of my entire miserable life

Edit:I forgot to add this!

Credit:- @grimyfrightz on Instagram

Eternals + Onion Headlines Part 1

Other entries

chased the sun around the apartment ☀️💫✨

LMFAOOOO

DEAD. Lmaooo

am scared

(via)

I NEED people to understand that condoms aren’t free because “MEN like to FUCK lol,” they’re free because thirteen thousand people die from AIDS every year in the US alone.

Stop framing free menstrual products as more essential than free condoms. They should BOTH be free.

If you want to clown on this post, I can and will block you.

Free condoms are not less important than free menstrual supplies.

“But you can abstain from sex!!!”

Sex workers deserve safe working conditions. Impoverished people deserve access to safe sex.

End of story.

“you don’t have to wear a mask anymore you know!”

me:

I'm nearly crying

because I had this awesome password journal as a kid

but it was a bitch to open because you had to say the password the same way every time

so after a while I gave up on it and never tried to open it again

but today I was cleaning my room and found it

so I decided to open it, thinking that it contained old journal entries or drawings from when I was a kid

but I don’t know the password anymore and it didn’t even have any batteries

so I thought maybe unscrewing the back would open it

ha

haha

nope

so now I have to deal with all these wires and gears and shit and end up unscrewing more things and breaking some stuff too

finally I get in

and it’s fucking empty

but I notice the little compartment thingy and open it

there was a folded up piece of paper inside

and I can’t stop laughing because I worked so hard to get into the thing and past me is just like

“now fuck off”

the idea of john cena sitting down to watch supernatural, getting to the gunnar lawless episode and being like “oh dean is bi for sure” and then getting to later seasons and saying “oh he’s bi and in love with his best friend” and then getting to 15x18 and feeling so strongly about it that he tweets about love confessions said too late and then follows a bunch of destiel accounts is so. so funny.

Tumblr sure is a good way to learn about what's happening on twitter.