was just randomly thinking abt it but the scene in btvs where willow and tara are slow dancing together and they start levitating literally changed my brain chemistry at age 15…..
last night i texted my friend and asked her to listen to my hole (the band) playlist of like 15 songs (it’s a work in progress lol) bc i looooove them & i thought she would like it and i even said she could just listen to the first 5 songs and instead of listening to the playlist i sent her at all she decided to listen to their whole discography love her……really went above & beyond lmao
#michelle speaks#if i had known she was gonna do that tho i would’ve warned her bc their first album is a little jarring if you don’t know anything abt them#but on my playlist the first songs were all from their latter 3 albums so i thought she would get like more slowly introduced lmao#bc the first album is like REALLY intense lyrically and sound wise and the other albums are not as much#but she said she does like them which makes me very happy 🤩 they are one of my fave bands for sure…..
Anonymous asked:
if I were you I would lace his coffee with nyquil and sleeping pills and then tell him. he will be too sleepy to yell or k word you. that’s what I do when I have to tell my dad bad news
LMFAOOOO this is so funny bc my mom said she wished we could do smth like that earlier today 😭😭😭
ok it’s actually funny & i’m laughing. but i forget how traumatized i am from my d*d until i know he’s going to yell at me and then i am like ohhhhh god i am so mentally ill lmfaoooo 😭😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#telling him im going to law school tomorrow if i never post again it’s bc he k worded me 🤪#anyway i am just sitting here staring at the wall absolutely going crazy w picking at my nails i do not have nails anymore 😭#i couldn’t even put on music i went to turn some on to hopefully make me feel better & i couldn’t i just sat in silence for 10 mins#and now that i turned on a song i keep having to pause it bc i’m like no i need to be anxious in silence#i am like full on rocking that’s when it’s bad……that’s the trauma really setting in lmfao 😭😭😭#i am the only person on the planet who has a trauma response to the idea of telling my dad i got a full scholarship to law school 🙄#i wish i didn’t care 😭😭😭 that is all sorry for trauma dumping i love you tumblr followers ❤️
WEDNESDAY | 1X02: WOE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
#conspiratorial besties
obsessed w how when i went to look up picture to burn by tswift on youtube the first thing that come up was homophobic version 😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#og version ok. but ppl are just typing homophobic version 😭😭😭 that is so funny……#imagine u make a song and ppl are like i have GOT to see the homophobic version!!!!!#ugh so jealous of everyone who bought her og album in 2006 and has access to the homophobic version forever#when she rereleases her first album she should put that song on it twice and for one of them have it as#(taylor’s homophobic version) LMFAOOOOO
the narrator talking abt how she dated guys she felt like she was supposed to date and never dated any more than a semester and would break up w them every time a break came in the school yr and she never felt anything for any of them and she’d watch romance movies and wonder if she was capable of love……girl you’re literally a lesbian lmfao………HELLO?
#michelle speaks#and the first man she ‘loved’ was her professor who was taking advantage of her & had a wife and kids#and she only loved him bc he made her feel special bc he was a published author & wanted to be w her#and he’d call her amazing & beautiful and no one else had done that before#i’m screaming. she’s literally a lesbian is the author aware of this? does she know?#like all of this just reads deeply repressed lesbian to me………..like is this on purpose or??? 😭😭😭😭
ngl i’m so happy i was finally able to get back into reading i forgot how much i loved it fr….i think it helps a lot that i know the genre that i like the most (horror) but only reading books written by women is a HUGE difference there is a perspective that women bring to horror that men simply can’t bc of the realities of being a woman ykwim…..anyway having a great time 🤩
#michelle speaks#like my mom bought me a bunch of stephen king books bc i was into horror but i never got around to reading any of them#bc there is always always always a deep layer of misogyny to horror written by men#bc so much of it has to do w violence against women and sexualized violence against women#which is why i was always like yes i love horror but i can’t read these books bc that’s going to ruin it for me#but like reading horror by women. amazing fr. like sooo good it’s insane……
not the narrator in this book saying her and her bff she is clearly in love w are “like sisters” 😭😭😭 losing hope that this will leave the subtext everyone a supercorp move has been pulled 😔
#michelle speaks#flashing back to that’s bc you never had sisters 😭😭😭#i’m like the author could not have accidentally made her narrator in love w her best friend right……….like right……….#but u know what…..i do LOVE a good subtextual lesbian romance that’s for sure#but how much better would it be if it was true u know………..still a slight hope within me……….
wednesday | 1x02: woe is the loneliest number
wednesday 🔪 + enid 🌈
ladies……….
#michelle speaks#next chapter pages long description of her relationship w a man………….#who she ended her relationship bc she fell out of love w him & she ends the part by saying that#and she’s like i worried after that that i was numb and passionless and could had missed my only chance#and she ends it by saying until her best friend (julie)’s husband showed up…….#like she never met him before lmfao……so i think it might actually be her being upset abt julie getting married so HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!#but i cannot read more rn so we finish tonight w a massive L that’s what i get for looking ahead 😔
BE FR u can NOT tell me she is not a lesbian like BE FR!!!!!!! i am going to EXPLODE if it turns out she isn’t this is some of THE most lesbian coded shit i have seen in my life i am going to LOSE IT!!!!! TELL ME SHES GAY RN!!!!!!!!!!!
#michelle speaks#and then she goes on to talk abt how the next time julie slept in her bed was when she was upset over a guy…….#never any mention of the narrator being upset abt guys. i’m going to start gnawing on this book s2g#love how i’m just going crazy abt this as if on the next page julie isn’t turning into a creature eating a corpse or smth. LMFAO 😭😭😭#ok BUT!!!! narrator only knows this bc she went to go to her room to sleep w her. so i win AGAIN
me DYING to know if the narrator of this book is a lesbian or if i have to recede into my delusions vs every single time anything abt her dating ppl comes up only ambiguous terms are used and nothing that actually refers to whether or not she dates women
was looking ahead in my book bc i like to see how long a chapter is before i start reading it & i caught some dialogue that made me pause and it was two of the characters (who are all women) talking abt whether they’d get married and one of them said “you and your girlfriend” and i thought it was referring to the narrator and it wasn’t 😭 literally the one who is the most feminine out of all of the four main characters is the one that is a lesbian WHY must it always be like this 😭😭
#michelle speaks#still holding out hope…….she didn’t say anything abt marrying a man……#the narrator and one of the other main characters are both way less feminine than that character like i thought the other one was#actually going to be a lesbian 😭 i mean i’m not MAD that there’s a lesbian in the book like that’s great and nice#however it isn’t the character i wanted to be gay 😔 also i am not a fan of the feminine lesbian trope that seems to exist in all media ever#anyway there is nothing this book could do to convince me that the narrator is not a lesbian fr. she is SO in love w her best friend#like it’s right there in the narrative 😭 she waxes poetic abt her all the time……..idc idc idc#i mean i’m just assuming this book will follow the one lesbian rule..#maybe it will be 3/4 lesbians 🤩 id go crazy…….
starting a new book once again like the main character is in love w her best friend this time who got married to a man and then disappeared i know this bc i can sense it my third eye is open and i’m reading it w that 🤩
#michelle speaks#i am full on reading this w the assumption that the main character is a lesbian as per usual. and she is. to ME.#and this time she’s an adult so she can’t have weird crushes & end up in an extremely gross relationship w an adult before starting hs 😌#i will also say. every time i start a book i check if the author is a lesbian first. important to me. i have to know what i’m getting into#author is straight but i Believe this time. she’s going to be a lesbian for real. i can feel it……….#(can’t wait to be disappointed in like 2 pages when she says she has a bf or smth but idc. lesbian to me!!!)
@heroeddiemunson’s THREE YEAR GIFMAKING ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
DAY ONE — skill: blending | colour focus: blue and/or yellow | other: shapes
no bc like i’m genuinely pissed off…..the book starts w the 14 yr old main character who just graduated middle school seeing this guy and she’s like oh i have a crush on him but he’s 18 and in college and he would never like me back. and then he ends up asking her out and she’s like but you’re so much older than me and he’s all like well i only JUST turned 18 and you’re turning 15 in a few months and i graduated high school early & that’s why ive been in college so it’s ok :) and then the rest of the book is just like this is fine & not at all predatory he is a great guy who cares abt her so much! like……he is a fully grown adult who has been to college and he’s going on a date w a 14 yr old that has yet to set foot in high school even……like that is INSANE. & there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why she couldn’t have been older or he couldn’t have been younger to not make such a predatory age gap & yet the author went w it anyway. it’s like i purposely seek out women authors to avoid this kind of thing but here we are still seeing the romanticization and normalization of young girls being preyed on by adult men. idc that he’s “only” 3 and a half yrs older. he should date a girl 3 and a half yrs older then. GROSS!!!!!!!!
#michelle speaks#i’m soooo mad abt this like it’s not even funny. how do u just write this & be like it’s fine#and make such an effort to justify it within the narrative to emphasize oh it’s not THAT big of a gap#like it just proves that u know exactly what ur doing. i just do not understand the reason like what is the reason!!!!!!!#also this was a horror book like there didn’t even have to be romance in it at all. which just makes it WORSE!!!!
ok finished the book i was reading…..i’m annoyed bc i REALLY liked it but the whole thing w the 18 yr old liking the 14 yr old main character WAS genuine & it just genuinely ruins it for me. like that is the ONE thing that just kind of puts a damper on the whole book bc if he was like 16 or smth i would be like whatever. but i really just cannot imagine why the author was like i think i will make the love interest for my 14 yr old main character an 18 yr old college student like what is the thought process there…….like if it weren’t for that i would say that i loved the book bc it explored so many good themes of misogyny and the devaluation of women and girls and the plot was really good etc but. your main character. who has not even started high school yet. has a love interest. that is in college. like WHAT IS THE REASON!!!!!!!
#michelle speaks#it is such a bizarre choice since it’s acknowledged SO many times that he’s a lot older than her#& there was a whole part trying to justify that it was ok like oh he graduated early oh it’s only 3 and a half yrs#IDC!!!! ITS STILL WEIRD!!!!!!! girl just graduated MIDDLE SCHOOL. and you who have been in COLLEGE wants to date her#like why ruin ur book w that i don’t get it 😭😭😭😭 it’s so fucking BIZARRE
bro this 18 yr old guy in this book asking the main character who is 14 out on a date i’m like 🤮 i am REALLY hoping he’s possessed (there is an unknown possessed man on the loose) and also that the author isn’t actually just romanticizing an 18 yr old liking a 14 yr old. like she thinks to herself “he’s only 3 and a half yrs older than me he’s not THAT much older i guess it’s ok” and i’m like the author better just be making her naive bc if the author actually thinks that’s ok…….like i remember being in my senior yr of high school and the freshman all looking like literal babies to me. and she has not even started high school yet (she has a nov bday so she is turning 15 in a few months just to note that) and he graduated early and has already done a semester of college in the spring. like if you are in COLLEGE asking a 14 yr old not even high school freshman yet out on a date you should literally die immediately like just combust on the spot that is insane. anyway if this is genuine that is going to have to be a dealbreaker for me on whether or not i ever pick up this book again have to say! but it remains to be seen rn…..
#michelle speaks#i REALLY think there is smth going on here bc the night before he was outside of her house staring at her window and he like. smiled.#& he didn’t know she was watching him look at her & here he was like oh i was just too nervous to knock on the door 🥺#so i think it’s like. he’s trying to like butter her up rn and have her being like oh he just likes me and making her feel good abt herself#bc she feels older & superior to her bff bc an older guy likes her so i don’t think the author is romanticizing it#but at the same time there is a possibility. another thing from this book i will have to wait & see for my judgement on