Hot sauce is a health potion

eleventh plague. emails. 

Pharoah, I hope this email finds you letting my people go

as per my last plague,

I don’t understand how people can be morally conflicted about being “born wealthy/rich”. Just keep enough of your wealth to live, and redistribute the rest. No one is stopping you. Like. It’s a choice to hoard wealth lol

And like the abuse of identity politics of people saying unhinged shit like “I recognize my class privilege” but there’s no actual follow up action. Money is literally something that can be given away and distributed. Maybe sell your second home and fund someone’s medical fundraiser. It literally is that simple

parents when they watch a film that isnt shot 100% linearly with every single scene being fully explained with a literal meaning

ok also michael’s plan to torture them for a thousand years wouldve worked if he’d just paired chidi and jason together and eleanor and tahani together as soul mates. eleanor and tahani.. hoo boy they’re self-explanatory but chidi and jason? chidi would have broken down day 1 from ‘wait my soulmate is a man? im attracted to men? wait is it homophobic of me to be surprised that my soulmate is a man? am i bisexual? am i gay? oh my god is that why none of my girlfriends worked out? did i lead women on bc i was too homophobic to realise my own sexuality? have i been in denial my whole life?’ and jason would have to contend with a beautiful jacked academic begging him for wisdom using words he’s never heard before in his life. and then they (chidi+jason and eleanor+tahani) kiss

foster’s home for lonely dudes who get no bitches and stack no paper

Well, then the droid does belong to you.

Luke: the droid says he belongs to you

Obi Wan, who knows full well that is anakin’s fucking nightmare robot: i don’t recall

Motherfucker doesn’t need to be Force sensitive to know that there’s Skywalker fuckery afoot when R2-D2 shows up. This is the gentle knock on the door before the Skywalker Drama Van unloads like a clowncar.

R2: I have an important message to deliver

Old Ben: goddamnit how has nobody killed you yet? The fuck did you find me? Do I need to find a larger, shittier desert to wander out into the middle of?

R2D2 is the silver surfer to the Galactus that is the Skywalkers

Luke: Wow, an N-1 starfighter. Where in the world did you get a hold of one of these?

Din: On Tatooine.

Luke: Custom induction intake charger… gutted out droid port…you found a cryogenic density combustion booster on Tatooine?

Luke: You pulled a lot of strings with a lot of Jawas, didn’t you?

Din: My friend. The mechanic…She dated one.

Luke: PELI MOTTO BUILT THIS??

galaxies’ best space dad(s)

….honestly it’s just way funnier and better and in character for everyone involved if you assume Grogu and Artoo just fucking stole Luke’s X-wing and showed up on Tatooine for shits and giggles and to say hi to dad.

Luke’s back on Yavin 4 sending Grogu furious Force Thoughts to GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN and also dismally thinking Aww man, the hot Mando Dad is never going to take me seriously again.

“making star wars characters gay would alienate the fans” star wars is about aliens. they are all aliens. alienate whoever you want.

just thinking of din and grogu hanging out and luke has basically taken that entire ship apart and put it back together again. every few minutes din hears a “they don’t even make hydraulic incubators any more” and “this is part of a moisture vaporator. Din! Your ship is made out of vaporator parts” and “that’s a piece of mos eisley chewing gum” din: having fun luke: (covered in space oil and absolutely beaming, grinning from ear to ear, jabs a thumb over his shoulder) that thing shouldn’t be able to fly

Space family of this tweet:

Everyday scenario on ao3:

Anakin has his priorities straight and also keeps being the annoying big brother even as a force ghost

|Ko-Fi|