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Goblin Is My Wife

@leighjr

THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKS’ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA

IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY “THIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DON’T TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WON’T FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THERE’S NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.”

AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE “YOU’RE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WE’RE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WE’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.” 

AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE “THIS IS A TRICK” AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR “SUBTLETY”

THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKS” AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY

This makes a lot more sense

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30-35 boys.

How about I seduce the goblin with my shaved 6-pack

-A werewolf named Chad

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how… what is… did you just have this art lying around?? was it in a box labeled In Case Of Goblin Seduction 6-Pack Joke Break Glass? apparently this is a Magic card and I have a lot of questions for Magic: The Gathering right now

I can never remember this card’s real name because everyone just calls it “Abs of Treason”

The card name is “Enthralling Victor”. It has a ‘spiritual sequel’ card in terms of artwork called “Captivating Crew”, drawn by the same artist:

Abs of treason

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Literally Goblin’s face when she is watching The Winter Soldier.

I park near an abandoned grocery store sometimes and a week or so ago this appeared there.

So, the creature is a full order of magnitude more frightening at night,

N O  T H A N K  Y O U

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Bumping into the Goblin in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

Me: Please look at this thing I found on tumblr
Friend: We are both on tumblr. We are mutuals. I see everything you reblog.
Me: look at this other thing tho
Friend: You reblogged that from me
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Hey Goblin have you seen this yet?