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my mind palace

@leiaorganasoloskywalker

she/they/he | 18 | yippee o_o

Cursed mostly crack au nonsense.

The real reason Palpatine hates Obi-wan so much is Not because he's the Master of the Chosen One™ and therefore in the way of his plans. Oh no.

Sheev Palpatine hates Obi-wan because Obi-wan turned him down when he asked him on a date. Sheev was like 'cute redhead that can hold an intelligent and scathing conversation. Score'. He thinks they'll go on a few dates and as a bonus he can convince Obi-wan to go Dark.

But Obi-wan always gets 'weird old man' vibes from him and politely declines.

Of course Palpatine is offended that Obi-wan turned him down. Hes a catch. Anyone would be flattered to go on a date with him. How dare he! What do you mean he's fucked the Organas?? What do they have that i dont?!

So starts the long passive aggressive murder attempts.

Except. Every once in a while Palpatine tries to shoot his shot again. Its a matter of pride. He hints that maybe these assassins will go away if Obi-wan agrees to go on a date with him.

Obi-wan is like 'ah. Youre one of Those types' and doubles down on declining Palpatines date invites. Not once does it occur to him to Tell Anybody what Palpatine is doing.

This continues for a Long time. Then, midway through the war Padme pulls Anakin to the side and asks very politely if Anakin would talk to his good friend Palpatine about leaving Obi-wan alone. Anakin, having had no idea anything was going on, asks wtf shes talking about. So padme explains that during one of her and Obi-wans friendly bitching Tea dates that Obi-wan let slip that the Chancellor was trying to pressure him into a relationship by using his position of power over the republic, the Jedi, and Anakin himself. Obi-wan usually wouldnt have said anything but one of the assassins shot at one of his men instead of him and thats 'a step too far' and Obi-wan is a sleep deprived irritated mess.

Anakin of course goes a little unhinged at this information. No one threatens his brother-dad like that. So he goes to confront Palpatine, because maybe it's been a misunderstanding, but maybe it hasn't been.

So he confronts Palpatine, who doesn't deny it and instead makes his biggest mistake. He asks anakin to convince Obi-wan to agree. The 'Or Else' isn't said, it isn't even really implied, but Anakin hears it anyway. And he remembers what that kind of thing means on Tatooine.

Anakin goes even more unhinged. Theres a misunderstanding between Anakin and Palpatine where Palpatine thinks Anakin has figured him out as a sith but Anakin just thinks he's a predator. It turns into a fight.

There are explosions and saber duels and lightening.

When the dust clears Palpatine is dead and Anakin has curled himself around Obi-wan like 'its okay, he's dead now. He can't threaten you ever again'. Obi-wan is like 'thank you. I love you. But wut?'.

Both are sent off on a long vacation. Anakin because he was being groomed by a Sith lord and because the stress from the war has clearly caused something to snap. Obi-wan because he was being romantically pursued by a Sith Lord, the stress from the war, and because Anakin wont let him out of his sight.

Of course Ahsoka and the 212th and 501st go with them. Padme stays behind to help girlboss the Senate into getting their shit together.

Cody is a little salty he didn't get a chance to kick Palpatine in the dick (Its also a codywan au), but he claps Anakin on the shoulder and goes 'Good job son'. Anakin cries.

din djarin is truly the character ever. he's a dad. he's a drama queen. he became king of his people completely by accident. he's a knight in shining armor. he's socially awkward. he has a soft side so soft he threw his entire life away for a child he knew for one day. he's hot but he doesn't know it. he's hot and no one else knows it. he has trust issues. he has a jetpack. he feeds his baby live frogs. he stole the show in the finale of someone else's show. his current life goal is to take a bath.

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It’s been over half a year since I did a set of STAR WARS fic recs that weren’t pairing-focused, but I have been reading fic along the way! And sometimes you want fic that’s not about ships, no matter how much you love them, sometimes you just want to read about friendships or you want to read some cool worldbuilding or you only want the plot, and Star Wars fandom has been lovely about that. Hell, sometimes you just want to cry about how much you love the Jedi and you want to share that affection with other people, through the incredible experience of telling stores about them, like they were trying so hard and they were right about so many things and they were dying for years to try to help the galaxy, and teaching about how emotional regulation is good actually, and sometimes you want to show that through the disaster trio and sometimes you want to yell about how good Mace Windu is and sometimes you want to love frog grandpa and sometimes you want to get into a fistfight to defend Luminara’s honor and sometimes you want the whole Order sitting down to a family dinner and sometimes you want fic where Anakin and Mace actually get along and so many other things! So, here’s a collection of some excellent fic that I think most people should be able to find at least something to enjoy, whether you’re looking for fun disaster lineage shenanigans or heartbreaking pain because Star Wars Is Pain or some awesome Jedi Order worldbuilding or some all too rare Mace Windu Appreciation fic, I HOPE YOU ENJOY. WHAT KIND OF FIC YOU’LL FIND HERE: 

  • FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE
  • CANON-COMPLIANT (MOSTLY, UP TO A CERTAIN POINT, WHATEVER) DISASTER LINEAGE
  • JEDI CULTURE AND WORLDBUILDING AND CELEBRATION
  • I AM A PREQUELS ERA BITCH AND I’M MAKING THAT EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEM
  • FOR THE OBITINE SHIPPERS, OF WHICH I AM ONE
  • MULTIGENERATIONAL STAR WARS IS THE BEST STAR WARS
  • NOBODY NEEDS THEIR HEART TODAY ANYWAY
  • FRIENDSHIP WITH CANON ENDED, THIS COOL AU IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND NOW
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star wars rebel AU

so… Star Wars is one of those things where I love it so much because of the way the story turned out, but at the same time I have a million AUs for how I also wish it could have gone.

I-I just really want one where Anakin doesn’t turn/turns back early and ends up as a leader of the Rebel Alliance (the Jedi Order having still been destroyed), while Padme remains on Coruscant as a senate spy to leak intel to the rebels. of course, they’re separated to the public eye, and end up with one twin each… so ~*~THE SPOILER ~*~ is still a spoiler for Luke, it just happens earlier haha. and I love the potential dynamic of switching the twins around… X)

it would have been really funny if palpatine enacted order 66 only to be immediately killed by one of his own clone guards who doesn’t really understand the difference between the sith and jedi and just sees palpatine with a lightsaber and goes “oh a jedi!” And point blank shoots him without hesitation

luke being able to crumple star-destroyers in one clench of his fist. leia being able to ignite explosions with her thoughts. luke can bend the will of black holes. leia can create rifts in space-time. the ocean tides pull to them when they are near, the gravities of planets shift when they walk on them, they could make the closest star go supernova. when they battle you can hear the chanting of thousands that came before them, a step above mortality when their hearts beat in time with the rhythm of the galaxy. the two saviors of the galaxy with memories as old as the universe itself and hearts big enough to hold it. their powers connected to the undistilled energy of the Force itself and they choose justice and kindness and duty and family and love

Top 5 worst Star Wars takes 👀

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🙃🥲👀🥰

NUMBER FUCKING ONE is the idea that han and leia would get divorced. no. n o

their entire love story, their relationship development, their characterisation independently and together is about the persistence of love, loyalty, and bravery in the face of a war demanding everything from you. it’s about character and choices overcoming the tragedies that want to consume you whole. it’s about being drawn into the literal depths of hell and STILL choosing to fight for love because you have the courage know that it’s worth it. the courage to love in the face of despair is inherent to who they both are and they would never. NEVER. let each other go because of it. even if despair shook them to their very core and sent them reeling of in different directions, they would fight like hell to get back to each other. it’s who they are and any other story is ridiculous

2. reylo. whose idea was it to take a traumatised (I’ll give him that) unstable deluded fascist borderline sociopathic abuser and the woman he has been emotionally manipulating and psychologically torturing, whose trauma and instability he has knowingly taken advantage of just to cause her more pain, and decide this is a fucking romance. this is one of the worst ideas sw has ever had which is an impressive list

3. “all star wars is good star wars” no some star wars is really fucking bad what is wrong with you tiktok idiots. i literally lose a day off of my life when I hear those words

4. equating the sequels and rogue one in terms of quality, when rogue one is a fucking national medal piece of art and the sequels are some shitty youtube rant by a 13 year old kid who hates women

5. people who say fennec shand is straight

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